# Punchlines Only, Please **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [May 26, 2011, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272 "2011-05-26T12:46:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/21 "2011-05-26T14:38:06Z")
Better Nate than lever. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/22 "2011-05-26T14:38:07Z")
“Peter, I can see your house from here.” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/23 "2011-05-26T14:38:58Z")
The Aristocrats! ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/24 "2011-05-26T14:39:06Z")
You can tell them by the stretch marks around their mouths. ---
**Author:** ![CrimeThink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90db22/32.png) [@CrimeThink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrimeThink)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/25 "2011-05-26T14:53:00Z")
The 7 year old in the back of my van. ---
**Author:** ![CT\_Damsel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CT\_Damsel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CT_Damsel)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/26 "2011-05-26T14:56:00Z")
“You got me up at 3:00 AM **JUST** to hear some asshole singing Hello Dolly?” ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/27 "2011-05-26T14:58:19Z")
“No soap, radio!” ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/28 "2011-05-26T14:58:39Z")
Rectum? Nearly killed 'em! ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/29 "2011-05-26T15:03:39Z")
_gunshot_ OK, now what do I do? ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Shine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr_shine/32/464_2.png) [@Mr\_Shine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Shine)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/30 "2011-05-26T15:05:04Z")
Rustling ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/31 "2011-05-26T15:06:36Z")
Kermit the Frog’s full attention. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/32 "2011-05-26T15:06:52Z")
Ugly sheep. ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/33 "2011-05-26T15:14:57Z")
“I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and fifteen bucks for a fucked up duck!” ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/34 "2011-05-26T15:29:59Z")
Their tiny hands make your cock look big. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/35 "2011-05-26T15:33:05Z")
A hundred dollars, same as in town. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/36 "2011-05-26T15:35:41Z")
Recognition. That’s all I want. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/37 "2011-05-26T15:37:47Z")
(sung) Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/38 "2011-05-26T15:42:00Z")
> [@KennerTheGreat](#): > > Twenty bucks. The same as in town. > [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > A hundred dollars, same as in town. Inflation! ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/39 "2011-05-26T15:43:27Z")
Because they don’t have balls to scratch. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/40 "2011-05-26T15:47:09Z")
Goddammit, Silver, I said bring POSSE! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272.md?page=3)