# Punchlines Only, Please **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [May 26, 2011, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272 "2011-05-26T12:46:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/41 "2011-05-26T15:57:54Z")
So where’s this old lady with the loose tooth? ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/42 "2011-05-26T15:58:32Z")
Me, in my lucky blue suit. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/43 "2011-05-26T16:00:02Z")
What, and give up show business? ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/44 "2011-05-26T16:46:53Z")
Why the long face? ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/45 "2011-05-26T16:52:02Z")
Hey, lady, your sign fell down! (This one is obligatory for this type of thread.) ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/46 "2011-05-26T16:57:30Z")
Because his dick was stuck in the chicken. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/47 "2011-05-26T17:06:32Z")
Watson, you idiot. Somebody stole our tent. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/48 "2011-05-26T17:09:44Z")
Stand back, I don’t know how big this thing gets! ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/49 "2011-05-26T17:12:25Z")
“You’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amaal.” ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/50 "2011-05-26T17:13:47Z")
“Who’d want a twelve inch pianist?” ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/51 "2011-05-26T17:16:15Z")
…and then I wished for a 12 inch prick. ---
**Author:** ![Shark\_Sandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Shark\_Sandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shark_Sandwich)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/52 "2011-05-26T17:19:11Z")
“Sure it’s a wallet now, but if you rub it just right it becomes a briefcase.” ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/53 "2011-05-26T17:19:45Z")
“Voodoo dick, my ass.” ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/54 "2011-05-26T17:25:39Z")
“Yep. And cold, too.” ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/55 "2011-05-26T17:26:25Z")
Because they eat with their peckers. ---
**Author:** ![grimpixie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecb155/32.png) [@grimpixie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grimpixie)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/56 "2011-05-26T17:27:16Z")
No, but I know exactly where I am!! ---
**Author:** ![sevenwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@sevenwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sevenwood)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/57 "2011-05-26T17:32:39Z")
Tonight it’s your turn in the barrel. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/58 "2011-05-26T17:38:18Z")
That was me first day with the hook. ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/59 "2011-05-26T17:39:41Z")
This might break the rules, but … “Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?” ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/60 "2011-05-26T17:39:57Z")
“This time you hold the pigeon and I’ll crap on it.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272.md?page=4)