# Punchlines Only, Please **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [May 26, 2011, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272 "2011-05-26T12:46:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/141 "2011-05-31T06:34:30Z")
45!!! 45!!! 45!!!.. Welcome to Jamaica, mon. Have a nice day. Hey buddy, what’s eating you? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 9:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/142 "2011-05-31T09:43:09Z")
I was afraid you were bringing her back! And I’m the only Muslim in Ireland. “License and registration.” ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/143 "2011-05-31T10:26:44Z")
All of them. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/144 "2011-05-31T10:47:07Z")
After that, no one wanted the pie. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/145 "2011-05-31T11:04:53Z")
Does this taste funny to you? ---
**Author:** ![Stanislaus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stanislaus/32/3391_2.png) [@Stanislaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stanislaus)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/146 "2011-05-31T11:06:55Z")
This could spell disaster. You can’t say fairer than that. Blimey, he’s pulled a fast one. So the barman gave her one. What a rip-off. We use the camel to ride to the brothel in town. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/147 "2011-05-31T11:54:49Z")
It’s okay, some of the coffins were nice. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/148 "2011-05-31T13:17:11Z")
Wipe your dick on his teddy bear. “You’ve been complaining ever since you got here!” “Smith, you change with Roberts; Jenkins, you change with Hogue…” “What’d you do with the boat?” “How much is a Brazilian?” ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/149 "2011-05-31T13:18:22Z")
I’m going home; the weather’s too bad to screw in here. ---
**Author:** ![tripthicket](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripthicket/32/297_2.png) [@tripthicket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tripthicket)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2011, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/150 "2011-06-01T04:59:35Z")
“If he knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog.” “No, not tonight. Apple martinis make my pussy hurt!” /second the suggestion for the joke thread explaining all these punch lines ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2011, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/151 "2011-06-01T05:24:34Z")
A Polish electrician! “Odor in the court! Odor in the court!” When there’s a dime on your dresser and your mattress is missing. “Air is free!” Pork on sale. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2011, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/152 "2011-06-01T15:41:56Z")
Shut up and keep swimming! ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2011, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/153 "2011-06-01T15:46:09Z")
“So tell me, how do you start a flood?” ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2011, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/154 "2011-06-01T15:49:00Z")
> [@tripthicket](#): > > /second the suggestion for the joke thread explaining all these punch lines [Here ya go.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=610777) ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2011, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/155 "2011-06-01T15:52:54Z")
Silly rabbi! Kicks are for Trids! That’s a long way to tip a raree! Crossing a sedate lion with a gull for immortal porpoises. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2011, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/156 "2011-06-01T16:44:58Z")
Paddy, ya damn fool! Now we have to piss in the raft! ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2011, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/157 "2011-06-01T19:39:20Z")
“No Father, I think it’s just the light from the stained glass.” ---
**Author:** ![fusoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecccb3/32.png) [@fusoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fusoya)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2011, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/158 "2011-06-01T21:10:37Z")
My name is Puddles, and don’t ask how my day has been! ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2011, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/159 "2011-06-01T21:17:02Z")
No, you don’t understand. Chunks is my dog. ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2011, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-only-please/583272/160 "2011-06-01T21:43:36Z")
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