# Punchlines that are funny without the joke? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 2, 2007, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-that-are-funny-without-the-joke/390589 "2007-02-02T19:25:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![divemaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/divemaster/32/78_2.png) [@divemaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/divemaster)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2007, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-that-are-funny-without-the-joke/390589/41 "2007-02-04T00:33:53Z")
No, no, Nurse Smith! I told you to \*prick \* his _boil_! ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2007, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-that-are-funny-without-the-joke/390589/42 "2007-02-04T01:13:01Z")
So they don’t whistle on the way down! Kevin Federline, in the drawing room, with a candlestick. And Jeeves, if I _ever_ catch you wearing my clothes again… Not with _my_ cat, you won’t! ---
**Author:** ![mamboman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mamboman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamboman)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2007, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-that-are-funny-without-the-joke/390589/43 "2007-02-04T01:19:33Z")
[QUOTE=Lumpy"Sometimes senior, the bull wins".[/QUOTE] I came to mention this one. Greatest joke evah! ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2007, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-that-are-funny-without-the-joke/390589/44 "2007-02-04T01:28:45Z")
If I could walk _that_ way, I wouldn’t need the talcum powder! _You’re_ Thor? I can hardly thit down! ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2007, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-that-are-funny-without-the-joke/390589/45 "2007-02-04T01:36:16Z")
Ok, I’ve waited over 24 hours for someone else to post this, but here goes: _That’s a big word for an eight year old._ Ah, what the hell, I’ll do two more: _Because there’s 20 of them._ and: _I can see my house from here._ Sgt Schwartz ---
**Author:** ![Yookeroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yookeroo/32/323_2.png) [@Yookeroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yookeroo)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2007, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-that-are-funny-without-the-joke/390589/46 "2007-02-04T01:38:56Z")
[QUOTE=RedSwinglineOne] I was looking for punchlines for real jokes that are funny on their own, mainly because you can figure out the basic idea. You don’t need to know the joke to figure out what a guy with a 12 inch pianist really wanted. [/QUOTE] So much for that idea. Almost no one seems to be following this. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2007, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-that-are-funny-without-the-joke/390589/47 "2007-02-04T02:43:13Z")
“Sheep lies!” ---
**Author:** ![JustAnotherGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/58f4c7/32.png) [@JustAnotherGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustAnotherGeek)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2007, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-that-are-funny-without-the-joke/390589/48 "2007-02-04T02:52:32Z")
Tag! You’re it! Look both ways before you cross the street. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2007, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-that-are-funny-without-the-joke/390589/49 "2007-02-04T03:35:39Z")
Why do you ask, Two Dogs Humping? ---
**Author:** ![buns3000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c89c15/32.png) [@buns3000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buns3000)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2007, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-that-are-funny-without-the-joke/390589/50 "2007-02-04T03:43:10Z")
Frank Drebin in _Naked Gun 2 1/2_ - “Lady, I don’t think I could take sixty-seven more of those!” ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2007, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-that-are-funny-without-the-joke/390589/51 "2007-02-04T05:49:18Z")
Some great (old) jokes in this thread – good idea! Two of my favs… You don’t understand… _Chunks is my dog!_ :eek: and But your honor–I didn’t say she was acting silly, I said she was _fucking_ Goofy! ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2007, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-that-are-funny-without-the-joke/390589/52 "2007-02-04T13:37:11Z")
Would punchlines to puns (shaggy dog stories) count? Oppornockity tunes but once The Bee-wares of the Isdom Arch siezer People who live in grass houses shouldn’t stow thrones Silly rabbi, Kix are for Tryds Yeast is yeast and jest is jest but never the Maine shall tweet …and a few billion others ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2007, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-that-are-funny-without-the-joke/390589/53 "2007-02-04T13:45:01Z")
My favourite Shaggy Dog Story Punchline: “_I can’t tell you, you’re not a Monk!_” I’d be very surprised if anyone’s familiar with the associated SDS, though… ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2007, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-that-are-funny-without-the-joke/390589/54 "2007-02-04T17:00:21Z")
[QUOTE=Martini Enfield] I’d be very surprised if anyone’s familiar with the associated SDS, though… [/QUOTE] _raises hand_ ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2007, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-that-are-funny-without-the-joke/390589/55 "2007-02-04T17:13:42Z")
[QUOTE=matt\_mcl] _raises hand_ [/QUOTE] Here’s another. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2007, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-that-are-funny-without-the-joke/390589/56 "2007-02-05T03:51:38Z")
Nice trade, Mr. President Maybe if you pet him, he’ll let you. One is a cunning array of stunts. I just wish it was dark ---
**Author:** ![rackensack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@rackensack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rackensack)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2007, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-that-are-funny-without-the-joke/390589/57 "2007-02-06T03:50:31Z")
And the cabbie says, “Buddy, I been asked that question about a thousand times, but never before in the pluperfect subjunctive”. ---
**Author:** ![Spavined\_Gelding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Spavined\_Gelding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spavined_Gelding)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2007, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-that-are-funny-without-the-joke/390589/58 "2007-02-06T04:37:16Z")
There is no way I’m going to vote for a dumb SOB who can’t tell the difference between a steamboat and a bull with a bugle up its ass. It’s OK, I turned the hose around. No, Ole, those nails are for the other side of the roof. …and the Lutheran minister came out with the coffee pot. My wife is from Minnesota. That Superman is one mean drunk. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Joe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@Evil\_Joe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Joe)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2007, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-that-are-funny-without-the-joke/390589/59 "2007-02-06T05:20:39Z")
No seriously thats just ice cream on my face! ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Joe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@Evil\_Joe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Joe)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2007, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-that-are-funny-without-the-joke/390589/60 "2007-02-06T05:22:35Z")
Finally the Farmer said “JEEEEZUS ROVER! Now get out from underneath there before that man SHITS on you!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-that-are-funny-without-the-joke/390589.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-that-are-funny-without-the-joke/390589.md?page=4)