# Punchlines to Dirty Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 24, 2006, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-dirty-jokes/349762 "2006-03-24T18:57:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2006, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-dirty-jokes/349762/81 "2006-04-25T12:39:55Z")
“But you blow one goat…!” ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2006, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-dirty-jokes/349762/82 "2006-04-25T14:12:47Z")
“I wanted to see if you’d open your eyes or your legs first.” ---
**Author:** ![Tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tomcat)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2006, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-dirty-jokes/349762/83 "2006-04-25T16:55:33Z")
“If 5 shots of tequila won’t kill the taste, why do you think 6 would?” “Pick 'em up and suck 'em off.” “I just told them she was fucking goofy!” ---
**Author:** ![john3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ed655f/32.png) [@john3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/john3)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2022, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-dirty-jokes/349762/84 "2022-07-22T19:24:17Z")
is ther a set up to this joke or have I miss the point ---
**Author:** ![john3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ed655f/32.png) [@john3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/john3)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2022, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-dirty-jokes/349762/85 "2022-07-22T19:45:19Z")
is there a set up for that joke or do I just miss the point ---
**Author:** ![its\_the\_daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/bb73d2/32.png) [@its\_the\_daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/its_the_daddy)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2022, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-dirty-jokes/349762/86 "2022-07-22T21:02:52Z")
Might as well. I can’t get this bloody hubcap off. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2022, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-dirty-jokes/349762/87 "2022-07-22T21:12:32Z")
> [@SSG\_Schwartz](#): > > > [@Elendil's Heir](#): > > > > Never heard that one. What’s the joke? > > I warn you, this is crass. This is the tamest version I could find. :eek: > > [Spoiler]A guy and a girl are having sex, and the girl says, “Don’t you think it was presumptuous of you to think you could sleep with me on the first date?” > > The man replies, “Don’t you think ‘presumptuous’ is a big word for a second-grader?”[/Spoiler] > > Sgt Schwartz I thought it was this: My girlfriend asked me if I was a pedophile. I said, wow, that’s a big word for a 12-year-old. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2022, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-dirty-jokes/349762/88 "2022-07-22T21:14:19Z")
“Her ankles” ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2022, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-dirty-jokes/349762/89 "2022-07-23T01:48:11Z")
Because there’s twenty of them. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2022, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-dirty-jokes/349762/90 "2022-07-25T00:14:04Z")
You told me yesterday. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2022, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-dirty-jokes/349762/91 "2022-07-25T00:30:23Z")
Go online, watch porn, eat cheetos ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2022, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-dirty-jokes/349762/92 "2022-07-25T00:51:34Z")
For a nickel I will! ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2022, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-dirty-jokes/349762/93 "2022-07-25T03:55:54Z")
And the Devil says “OK Monica, you can go now” ---
**Author:** ![Esturionette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9d8465/32.png) [@Esturionette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esturionette)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2022, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-dirty-jokes/349762/94 "2022-07-28T04:36:56Z")
The dog didn’t want to go fishing either. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2022, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-dirty-jokes/349762/95 "2022-07-28T08:04:43Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > > [@SSG\_Schwartz](#): > > > > > [@Elendil's Heir](#): > > > > > > Never heard that one. What’s the joke? > > > > I warn you, this is crass. This is the tamest version I could find. :eek: > > > > [Spoiler]A guy and a girl are having sex, and the girl says, “Don’t you think it was presumptuous of you to think you could sleep with me on the first date?” > > > > The man replies, “Don’t you think ‘presumptuous’ is a big word for a second-grader?”[/Spoiler] > > > > Sgt Schwartz > > I thought it was this: > > My girlfriend asked me if I was a pedophile. I said, wow, that’s a big word for a 12-year-old. Reminds me of the guy they called the Soda Pop Kid. Because he dated girls from 7 up. ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2022, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-dirty-jokes/349762/96 "2022-07-28T09:32:19Z")
> [@pkbites](#): > > > [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > > > > [@SSG\_Schwartz](#): > > > > > > > [@](#): > > > > > > > > Never heard that one. What’s the joke? > > > > > > I warn you, this is crass. This is the tamest version I could find. :eek: > > > > > > [Spoiler]A guy and a girl are having sex, and the girl says, “Don’t you think it was presumptuous of you to think you could sleep with me on the first date?” > > > > > > The man replies, “Don’t you think ‘presumptuous’ is a big word for a second-grader?”[/Spoiler] > > > > > > Sgt Schwartz > > > > I thought it was this: > > > > My girlfriend asked me if I was a pedophile. I said, wow, that’s a big word for a 12-year-old. > > Reminds me of the guy they called the Soda Pop Kid. > Because he dated girls from 7 up. actually, the version I heard years ago was this(god help my rotted diseased soul) : A man and a woman are in bed together the man being bored tonight suggest " hey let’s try anal sex tonight" The woman says " anal sex ? that’s putridly disgusting and awfully vile" hell no! the guy pissed off says " putridly disgusting and awfully vile? arent those big phrases for a 12-year-old? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-dirty-jokes/349762.md?page=4)