# Punchlines to Vulcan jokes.
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-vulcan-jokes/195487
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [August 15, 2003, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-vulcan-jokes/195487 "2003-08-15T23:36:30Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)
#### Post date: [August 15, 2003, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-vulcan-jokes/195487/1 "2003-08-15T23:36:30Z")
It was illogical of you to choose the least aesthetically appealing targ.
The trbble examines the Romulan and says to the bartender, “I was unaware that not everyone posses one.”
Why would I ask for a 17.7814159 centimeter musician?
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### Author:  [@Scruloose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scruloose)
#### Post date: [August 15, 2003, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-vulcan-jokes/195487/2 "2003-08-15T23:42:07Z")
Rectum? It damn near killed him!
sorry.
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### Author:  [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)
#### Post date: [August 15, 2003, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-vulcan-jokes/195487/3 "2003-08-15T23:44:12Z")
Why do Vulcan’s only have sex every seven years?
Because we are not filthy Andorians.
What is the difference between a Vulcan and a Romulan?
75 IQ points.
What is the difference between a human and a steaming garbage heap?
You can get used to the smell of the garbage.
😉
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### Author:  [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)
#### Post date: [August 15, 2003, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-vulcan-jokes/195487/4 "2003-08-15T23:53:38Z")
I have become aware, Surak, that you posses a difficult personality when intoxicated.
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### Author:  [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)
#### Post date: [August 15, 2003, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-vulcan-jokes/195487/5 "2003-08-15T23:56:54Z")
“And that’s why we have the goofy giant ring in the middle of our ship!”
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### Author:  [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2003, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-vulcan-jokes/195487/6 "2003-08-16T00:03:22Z")
I was about to finish the anecdote but realized the final line may have the wrong connetation so I will change the wording to prevent any misunderstanding… The doctor was incopetent and had not noticed that the wrong instrument was in his hand and the pen was in the human’s rectum.
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### Author:  [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2003, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-vulcan-jokes/195487/7 "2003-08-16T00:13:33Z")
_Neck pinch!?_
I thought you said \*Fal Tor Pan! \*
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### Author:  [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2003, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-vulcan-jokes/195487/8 "2003-08-16T00:42:40Z")
Vulcans don’t tell jokes.
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### Author:  [@Menocchio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Menocchio)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2003, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-vulcan-jokes/195487/9 "2003-08-16T02:29:53Z")
You misunderstand me. The firstbaseman has the unusual surname of “Who”. it would be illogical for me to merely repeat your query when I obviously heard it correctly and posess the answer.
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### Author:  [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2003, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-vulcan-jokes/195487/10 "2003-08-16T02:44:52Z")
It would be illogical to assume that a barnyard fowl has any motivation to perambulate across a thoroughfare, other than the obvious one of wishing to be situated opposite its original location in reference to said thoroughfare.
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### Author:  [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2003, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-vulcan-jokes/195487/11 "2003-08-16T03:26:56Z")
Two Vulcans approach each other in the hallway. A third is in meditation on a nearby bench.
The first one asks: “Selek is in meditation again?”
The second responds, “Apparently, he has not achieved true enlightenment.”
_raised eyebrows_
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### Author:  [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2003, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-vulcan-jokes/195487/12 "2003-08-16T03:38:51Z")
Tell Mother… I feel fine. [a 3 movie long set up for this Spock punchline to Sarek]
[url=http://www2.masterreplicas.com/(1uqmys55b2qlgh45m4btgb45)/StarTrek/STProduct.aspx?sItemID=ST-102S]Buy one as a gift!
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### Author:  [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2003, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-vulcan-jokes/195487/13 "2003-08-16T03:40:22Z")
[Buy one as a gift!](http://www2.masterreplicas.com/(1uqmys55b2qlgh45m4btgb45)/StarTrek/STProduct.aspx?sItemID=ST-102S)
illogical :dubious:
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### Author:  [@Vlad\_Dracul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vlad_Dracul)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2003, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-vulcan-jokes/195487/14 "2003-08-16T03:50:10Z")
How many humans does it take to change a light bulb?
Although humans display many faults, the typical human does normally possess sufficient technical aptitude to replace a simple illumination unit without assistance.
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### Author:  [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2003, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-vulcan-jokes/195487/15 "2003-08-16T04:49:01Z")
Subcommander, is that a plomeek in your pocket, or are you just stimulated by my presence?
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### Author:  [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2003, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-vulcan-jokes/195487/16 "2003-08-16T04:54:28Z")
Well, here’s one:
First Vulcan: “The pre-unification philosopher Stokal postulated that needs are subjective and therefore a universal moral code is impossible”
Second Vulcan: “Undoubtedly his banishment to the T’karra Wastes by the tyrant Sorek tested that assertion.”
Pure comic gold, I tell ya.
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### Author:  [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2003, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-vulcan-jokes/195487/17 "2003-08-16T05:26:57Z")
“Perhaps we would have more power if Engineer Scott connected your mouth to a generator, Doctor.”
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### Author:  [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2003, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-vulcan-jokes/195487/18 "2003-08-16T08:16:06Z")
Spock: This room is impervious to escape.
Kirk: How do you know that?
Spock: I built it.
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### Author:  [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2003, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-vulcan-jokes/195487/19 "2003-08-16T14:48:26Z")
A Romulan, a Klingon, and an Andorian walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the Andorian and says, “Why so blue?”
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### Author:  [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2003, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punchlines-to-vulcan-jokes/195487/20 "2003-08-16T15:04:47Z")
The bartender enquires, “Why is your skin of such an unusual pigmentation?”
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