# Punish the Monstre **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 4, 2003, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punish-the-monstre/152642 "2003-02-04T03:51:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punish-the-monstre/152642/1 "2003-02-04T03:51:19Z")
This is the Monstre’s 1000th post, but should you celebrate? NO! Should you congratulate him on a meaningless milestone? NO! Should you bring cake and cookies and gifts? Welllllll… er… NO! Instead, Monstre should be punished… BAD Monstre, littering and befouling the boards with 4 digits worth of posts. BAD Monstre, for the threads he has thoughtlessly killed. BAD Monstre, for this thinly disguised reverse post-party thread… ::: delivering hearty slap on wrist ::: ## So, how will you punish the Monstre? 😃 Disclaimer: This thread is for entertainment purposes only. Any implied use of this thread for inflicting injury or pain upon living entities is strictly denied. No Monstres were actually harmed – at least not too badly – in the making of this thread. This thread contains no artificial coloring, flavoring, or usefulness whatsoever. Open this thread at your own risk. Children under 12 must be supervised by an adult when reading this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punish-the-monstre/152642/2 "2003-02-04T04:35:58Z")
By ignoring you, it seems. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BadBaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/71c47a/32.png) [@BadBaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BadBaby)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punish-the-monstre/152642/3 "2003-02-04T05:27:22Z")
I don’t want hairy palms; I will not spank the Monstre. ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punish-the-monstre/152642/4 "2003-02-04T05:54:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Monstre \* > **So, how will you punish the Monstre? 😃** By plying the **Mostre** with large amounts of alcohol - resulting in a really bad hangover tomorrow 😛 ---
**Author:** ![XJETGIRLX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9fc29f/32.png) [@XJETGIRLX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XJETGIRLX)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punish-the-monstre/152642/5 "2003-02-04T06:14:43Z")
Ooh! Finally an occaision for my cat o’ nine tails and my handcuff collection! Or maybe this calls for a paddling instead. Silly ettiquette, I never can remember these things. Someone bring me the rule book! ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punish-the-monstre/152642/6 "2003-02-04T06:17:39Z")
I will put the \*\*Monstre \*\* to work at hard labor, polishing every inch of my filthy car with his tongue. Then he can start on the bathroom floors. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punish-the-monstre/152642/7 "2003-02-04T07:56:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by XJETGIRLX \* > \*\*Or maybe this calls for a paddling instead. > > Silly ettiquette, I never can remember these things. Someone bring me the rule book! \*\* Oh, are you going to paddle me with the rule book? ---
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punish-the-monstre/152642/8 "2003-02-04T09:03:23Z")
I think having to live in a place where the citizens can’t seem to figure out how to vote is punishment enough, no? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punish-the-monstre/152642/9 "2003-02-04T13:19:29Z")
Give back the keys to the classic convertible, you bad boy. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punish-the-monstre/152642/10 "2003-02-04T13:47:17Z")
Where’s **Ayesha** when you _really need her_? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punish-the-monstre/152642/11 "2003-02-04T17:43:05Z")
**Aesiron** – HA! And that’s just what the Monstre was expecting them to do! They have falling prey to the Monstre’s _Cunning Plan_… **BadBaby** – BWAHAHAHAHA! Fess up - you know you like to punish the Monstre when nobody is looking… **leechbabe** – No, please no! :: glug :: Not another double shot! :: glug glug :: Jusshhtt whatever you do, don’ ashhk the Mon… _hic_ the Monsshhhtre to come back to your plashhee… _hic_ **vivalostwages** – Okay, car is all done. Please notice how the Monstre has also performed the cherry-stem-in-a-knot trick on your antenna. **Atreyu** – Grrrrrrr… The Monstre wonders when you people are going to come take your parents back… **twickster47** – _VROOM VROOM_ The Monstre regretfully informs you that he cannot hear what you said over the wind whipping through his fur, as he is driving with the top down. **Bosda** – The Monstre is confused, and wonders if there is an important thread he missed? (BAD Monstre for constantly referring to himself in the third person!) ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punish-the-monstre/152642/12 "2003-02-04T17:48:05Z")
Ha! I will punish the **Monstre** by making him watch me eat pie. Look at me! I’m eating pie. Chocolate cream pie at that! (maybe me and **XJETGIRL** will get into a pie fight and you won’t even get to watch that) ---
**Author:** ![XJETGIRLX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9fc29f/32.png) [@XJETGIRLX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XJETGIRLX)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punish-the-monstre/152642/13 "2003-02-04T18:28:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Monstre \* > Oh, are you going to paddle me with the rule book? Only if you’re lucky 😉 > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Zebra_ > (maybe me and XJETGIRL will get into a pie fight and you won’t even get to watch that) Isn’t it a crime to waste Chocolate cream pie like that? Now if it was key lime you might have a pie fight on your hands… ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punish-the-monstre/152642/14 "2003-02-04T18:37:31Z")
All right, boy! Just for that, you may not write any more hilarious parodies in the Pit for a month! Now shape up and fly right! I have spoken! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punish-the-monstre/152642/15 "2003-02-04T18:58:57Z")
**Zebra** – The Monstre stands by and watches as you eat pie. The impassive Monstre expression turns into ecstatic delight as the Monstre takes another bite from his huge bowl of double chocolate chunk ice cream. (MMMMmmmmm… ice cream…!) **Jetgirl** – The Monstre is probably thinking, did she swat me 6 times with that rule book, or only 5? So, does the Monstre feel lucky? 😉 **Polycarp** – Pondering, the Monstre tries to come up with a rhyme for “Polycarp”… ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punish-the-monstre/152642/16 "2003-02-04T19:52:49Z")
**XJETGIRL** (I always forget the last X) I’m thinking, Jetgirl, whole body covered in chocolate cream and whipped cream, me still hungry. Monstre really upset that he does not get to eat pie. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punish-the-monstre/152642/17 "2003-02-04T20:24:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BadBaby \* > \*\*I don’t want hairy palms; I will not spank the Monstre. \*\* I saw the thread title and, before opening it, made a mental bet with myself that someone would post a masturbation reference by the third reply. I win!😃 ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punish-the-monstre/152642/18 "2003-02-04T20:58:15Z")
**I** will make the **Monstre** go to the gym in my place ! _He_ can suffer thru Boxing Aerobics and Body Bar Challenge ! Then he can do my Body for Life weightlifting… then the pie and ice cream are all _mine_ bwahahahaha… ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2003, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punish-the-monstre/152642/19 "2003-02-04T23:31:22Z")
Force Monstre to vacuum my house!! (4 cats and me with l o n g hair) It’s a Sysiphian task - we shed all the time!!! bwa ha ha ha ha ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2003, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punish-the-monstre/152642/20 "2003-02-05T04:08:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zebra \* > \*\ ***XJETGIRL** (I always forget the last X) > > I’m thinking, Jetgirl, whole body covered in chocolate cream and whipped cream, me still hungry. > > Monstre really upset that he does not get to eat pie. \*\* Oh, wait… The is _on_ **XJETGIRLX**? Well, in that case… 😃 **NinetyWt** – The Monstre is almost finished with the substitution workout at the gym, and has been checking out the hot females in spandex on the weight machines, treadmills, and aerobics class, thinking, “Not such a bad deal!” **DeVena** – Okay, Monstre has finished most of the vacuuming. Looks all clea… er… wait! Monstre wonders where all this fur on the floor behind him came from, then realizes, “Oh, that’s mine…” Oh well, guess you can take care of that part. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/punish-the-monstre/152642.md?page=2)