# Puppy wih severe separation anxiety. Help! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 1, 2024, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/puppy-wih-severe-separation-anxiety-help/996968 "2024-02-01T13:54:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Akaj](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/akaj/32/145_2.png) [@Akaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Akaj)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2024, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/puppy-wih-severe-separation-anxiety-help/996968/1 "2024-02-01T13:54:58Z")
We adopted a rescue puppy in October who will soon be a year old. She’s wonderful in most respects, and learns quickly with positive reinforcement, but she completely loses her mind if left alone for even a half hour. Left uncrated, she’s destroyed several books and other items, and swiped food off the kitchen counter – behaviors she never exhibits when my wife or I are home. Crated, she destroys anything in the crate, and has actually damaged the crate to the point where I’m worried she’ll hurt herself. What we’ve already tried: - Pupsicles – frozen treats inside a hard-to-access rubber ball. She loves them, but they don’t distract her for long enough. - CBD – has seemingly no effect. If anything, it winds her up instead of calming her. - Makings hellos and goodbyes non-events – She’s learned not to go (quite as) nuts when one of us comes home, but it’s had no effect on her behavior when left alone. I see this topic gets addressed every few years, but rather than wade through 10-year-old threads I’m hoping fellow dopers have some fresh ideas. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2024, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/puppy-wih-severe-separation-anxiety-help/996968/2 "2024-02-01T14:00:18Z")
> [@Akaj](#): > > she completely loses her mind if left alone for even a half hour. Can you leave her for 15 minutes? If so, do exercises where you give a treat, crate her, return in 15 minutes. Repeat over and over. Then bump it to 20 minutes. The important thing is to keep below threshold for anxiety. ---
**Author:** ![Akaj](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/akaj/32/145_2.png) [@Akaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Akaj)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2024, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/puppy-wih-severe-separation-anxiety-help/996968/3 "2024-02-01T14:55:48Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Can you leave her for 15 minutes? If so, do exercises where you give a treat, crate her, return in 15 minutes. We _could_ leave her in the crate for several hours, which we had to do out of necessity a few times. But now that it’s damaged, I don’t think we can anymore. If a crate is going to be part of the solution, we need to get a new one. That said, we’ve tried short stints in the crate, and she starts howling almost as soon as the door is closed. Repeated every day (in a new crate), would she eventually get used to being confined for longer and longer periods? Probably, but evidence so far isn’t encouraging. Ideally we’d just like to be able to leave her uncrated. Maybe try the same strategy? 10 minutes today, 12 minutes tomorrow, etc.? Problem is, we have to find something to do out of the house for those times, and it’s winter in the midwest! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2024, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/puppy-wih-severe-separation-anxiety-help/996968/4 "2024-02-01T15:00:57Z")
> [@Akaj](#): > > That said, we’ve tried short stints in the crate, and she starts howling almost as soon as the door is closed. With a new dog, feeding in the crate is an idea. > [@Akaj](#): > > Ideally we’d just like to be able to leave her uncrated. Our dogs are extremely well trained, but we still like having the option to crate them, In fact, when I take crates down to clean under and around them, the dogs get anxious. They look at their crates as dens. ---
**Author:** ![Dorjan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorjan/32/12440_2.png) [@Dorjan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dorjan)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2024, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/puppy-wih-severe-separation-anxiety-help/996968/5 "2024-02-01T15:08:30Z")
How big is the crate? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2024, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/puppy-wih-severe-separation-anxiety-help/996968/6 "2024-02-01T15:13:29Z")
> [@Akaj](#): > > Ideally we’d just like to be able to leave her uncrated. Maybe try the same strategy? 10 minutes today, 12 minutes tomorrow, etc.? Problem is, we have to find something to do out of the house for those times, and it’s winter in the midwest! Another point is that you should be doing basic obedience work with the dog. Find a place that offers group lessons. The more training you do, the more self assured the dog will become. We have three dogs. In our finished basement we have three crates. Upstairs in my gf’s bathroom (which is huge) we have two crates. At any given time,one of the dogs will be chilling in their crate (with the door open). ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2024, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/puppy-wih-severe-separation-anxiety-help/996968/7 "2024-02-01T15:18:47Z")
Another great thing is to keep the dog exhausted. Take turns walking the dog. If you can, throw a tennis ball or frisbee. A tired dog is a good dog. I have a friend who fosters weimaraners for a rescue group. The dogs she gets are usually on Prozac or other mood altering drugs at high doses. She weans them off by incorporating them into the crossfit training she and her husband do. She does a 5 mile run each morning and evening with the dogs. Her husband does a shorter afternoon run. When the dogs are eventually pllaced in homes they are “normal” (for the breed). ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2024, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/puppy-wih-severe-separation-anxiety-help/996968/8 "2024-02-01T15:25:03Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > They look at their crates as dens. Yep, that’s the rub, and why feeding in the crate is a great idea. Don’t make the crate the thing that means humans are leaving; it’s like only putting the dog in the car for trips to the vet. The crate should be primarily associated with safety, security, and snacks. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2024, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/puppy-wih-severe-separation-anxiety-help/996968/9 "2024-02-01T15:25:04Z")
Is the pup getting plenty of exercise? A tired dog is a well-behaved dog. Regular training time wears them out and gives them confidence. When I got my Grady he had terrible separation anxiety and also crate anxiety. The ad for him on the rescue’s site said he needed a calm companion dog at home. Lucky for all of us, I had just gotten a very mellow lab mix so she had to serve as his calm companion. Still it took me about 6 months to get him to chill out enough to be left alone (with sister). He’s still a looney but at least he can be without me. ---
**Author:** ![Akaj](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/akaj/32/145_2.png) [@Akaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Akaj)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2024, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/puppy-wih-severe-separation-anxiety-help/996968/10 "2024-02-01T15:26:26Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > They look at their crates as dens. We call it a den! She’s not buying it. > [@Dorjan](#): > > How big is the crate? It’s the right size for her – big enough for her to turn around, stand and lie comfortably, but not big enough to run back and forth. > [@kayaker](#): > > Find a place that offers group lessons. The more training you do, the more self assured the dog will become. Hmm. We did this with our previous dog, and he never had separation anxiety. I don’t know if that’s cause-and-effect or just random, but worth exploring. > [@kayaker](#): > > Another great thing is to keep the dog exhausted. Take turns walking the dog. If you can, throw a tennis ball or frisbee. A tired dog is a good dog. We walk her four times a day, and take her to the dog park in decent weather. We’re not workout types ourselves, but she gets exercise whenever we do. Plus she gets to get her zoomies out in the yard whenever she wants to. ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2024, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/puppy-wih-severe-separation-anxiety-help/996968/11 "2024-02-01T15:33:44Z")
One thing that I learned … and I’d been doing it wrong … is that “celebrating” your departure and arrival reinforces separation anxiety. In other words, if you make a big deal about your comings and goings, then your dog will associate those events with unhelpful excitement. You coming and going need to be very sober, very understated affairs. I’m better about that now. Some people leave a Kong toy filled with something like peanut butter. It can occupy an otherwise anxious dog while they’re alone. Hey … both of the above are covered here: > **[Do Kong Toys Really Work to Reduce Pet Anxiety? - Sykesville Veterinary Clinic](https://sykesvillevetclinic.com/news/do-kong-toys-really-work-to-reduce-pet-anxiety/)** > > If your dog is a nervous mess when you leave, your pet may have separation anxiety. Read this article to see if Kong toys can help reduce pet anxiety. If they can't, we'll give you some options of what can help instead. We’ve used [**Happy Traveler**](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B015MBUPGA) a couple times for vet app’ts. In our dog, it worked really, really well. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2024, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/puppy-wih-severe-separation-anxiety-help/996968/12 "2024-02-01T15:36:48Z")
> [@Akaj](#): > > We did this with our previous dog, and he never had separation anxiety. I don’t know if that’s cause-and-effect or just random, but worth exploring. I would never have a dog without taking it through obedience classes. ---
**Author:** ![Akaj](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/akaj/32/145_2.png) [@Akaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Akaj)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2024, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/puppy-wih-severe-separation-anxiety-help/996968/13 "2024-02-01T16:46:27Z")
> [@Johnny\_Bravo](#): > > Don’t make the crate the thing that means humans are leaving; it’s like only putting the dog in the car for trips to the vet. The crate should be primarily associated with safety, security, and snacks. I think we may have blown this big time. I’m not sure how we rectify it. Maybe a new crate in a different part of the house? ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2024, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/puppy-wih-severe-separation-anxiety-help/996968/14 "2024-02-01T16:57:36Z")
Agree with a lot of what’s already posted, and will second the Kong stuffed with treats. Peanut butter, especially, when smeared around the inside, then packed with other treats that will be hard to remove, will keep a dog occupied for a long time. They will usually not put it down until every last molecule of PB has been licked out of it. Use two small ones if you think you will be gone for a while. Works for crated dog or not (current dog did not take to a crate). We use a Kong every time we leave (altho not always with PB) and we just hand it to her and calmly walk out the door with no fanfare. This is the ONLY use for the Kong - she cannot have it at any other time to play with, so when she gets that treat she knows we are leaving for a while and it’s no big deal. ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2024, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/puppy-wih-severe-separation-anxiety-help/996968/15 "2024-02-01T17:11:11Z")
Since having our sweet Lexi put down last November, my wife and I have been casually looking for another dog. We are looking at older rescues, there are lots of them out there. A few weeks ago we went to look at a dachshund mix. She was a sweet little girl, playful and loved to be held. But the foster told us that the dog cannot be left alone at all. We were sorry but had to say no, there are times when she would have to be left at home. The foster then called us unfit to be dog parents and she would mark our application as such. The owner of the rescue called and asked what happened during our visit. After explaining why we couldn’t adopt this dog, she removed the hit from our record. My wife and I think this should have been noted on the dog’s profile, suddenly dropping this on potential adopters is not a good policy. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2024, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/puppy-wih-severe-separation-anxiety-help/996968/16 "2024-02-01T17:16:57Z")
I had to do the “leaving with no fanfare” scheme with my dog. I saw Cesar Milan do it. It is indeed helpful! Something I do with my dogs is tell them “doggies are going to stay here” when I’m about to go out. They don’t like it (sad, sad eyes) but they go calm themselves while I’m getting ready, and I can leave peacefully. If your last step before leaving is getting the dog into the crate, which they don’t like, you’re leaving an already anxious dog in a crate and that’s not going to be good news. Totally agree with the idea that the crate should be their peaceful place, and having them spend quality time in there and WANT to go in there will be a huge advantage to leaving them there while you’re gone. Put them in there with a filled Kong while you’re home and let them chill while they can see you. Then while you’re still home but they can’t see you. Make them WANT to go in there. Encourage them to hang out there on their own. You should be able to get to a point where you tell them “go in your box” and they go there willingly, you then get ready to leave, and then you leave after closing the crate door. Search online for resources about crate training. Seems like that’s a big piece of the puzzle that you missed. Successfully placing the dog in the crate is not it. ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2024, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/puppy-wih-severe-separation-anxiety-help/996968/17 "2024-02-01T17:30:09Z")
Just another thought. When I leave, I put [**Music Choice Soundscapes**](https://www.musicchoice.com/) channel on for my dog. It’s on our cable TV offerings, but you may have something similar, if not _that._ Note that I used to just ask Alexa (Amazon Echo) to play my meditation station, but I’m pretty sure she’ll only play for an hour before asking if she should continue. If you’re not home to respond in the affirmative, Alexa goes quiet – not my preference when trying to keep my dog ‘accompanied’ in my absence. My dog has come to associate the soft, soothing music with “Well, I guess Dad’s got somewhere else to be,” and tends to just lay on his couch and get comfy. It’s quite Pavlovian. ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2024, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/puppy-wih-severe-separation-anxiety-help/996968/18 "2024-02-01T17:37:52Z")
That’s a good point re: music. When I am doing something cerebral for work I put on some ambient music, and my dog just lays on the couch behind me and snoozes. I think she finds that relaxing (or boring). I have not tried leaving music on while we are out but may give that a try (altho she has not damaged anything in a while and seems to tolerate being left alone fairly well - but I suspect she barks a lot at any noise coming from the outside). ---
**Author:** ![Akaj](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/akaj/32/145_2.png) [@Akaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Akaj)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2024, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/puppy-wih-severe-separation-anxiety-help/996968/19 "2024-02-01T17:47:46Z")
> [@snowthx](#): > > Kong stuffed with treats. That’s exactly what we do with the Pupsicle, only it’s frozen so it lasts even longer. She loves it – but it still doesn’t distract her long enough. > [@racer72](#): > > The foster then called us unfit to be dog parents and she would mark our application as such. That sucks. Glad you were able to have it reversed. > [@ZipperJJ](#): > > I had to do the “leaving with no fanfare” scheme with my dog. We do that, and also try to come home with no fanfare – but that’s hard when the dog’s going apeshit crazy with joy. > [@DavidNRockies](#): > > soft, soothing music Great suggestion! ---
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2024, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/puppy-wih-severe-separation-anxiety-help/996968/20 "2024-02-01T18:06:55Z")
Sorry… I’m skipping to the end. DRUGS. Prozaz. Gabapentin. Trazadone. Find something that works. We have two rescues each with their own issues…one doesn’t have separation anxiety as bad as you describe but she will panic and panic bark and sometimes acts like we’ve abandoned her for days if we go outside for half an hour. She is on gaba and prozac and will get cbd for high stress times. Sometimes training cannot be the answer because life doesn’t work that way. (the anxiety might lessen with time but when its that severe…its probably going to always be there.) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/puppy-wih-severe-separation-anxiety-help/996968.md?page=2)