# Pure random silliness thread? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 17, 2014, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306 "2014-04-17T02:29:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2014, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/321 "2014-08-14T15:01:18Z")
Here, you can use my hanky. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2014, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/322 "2014-08-14T15:04:56Z")
> [@CheshireKat](#): > > Here, you can use my hanky. You won’t want it back ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2014, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/323 "2014-08-14T16:26:58Z")
Maybe **Bozuit** can use it for [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=730415&highlight=snot+cake). I was feeling sorry for myself that I had no shoes, until I met a man with no feet. Damn Metric. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2014, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/324 "2014-08-14T19:12:20Z")
> [@CheshireKat](#): > > Here, you can use my hanky. > [@Lumpy](#): > > You won’t want it back Hanky, shmanky, I’m not wearing a tank top today. [That’s why good Lord Frith gave us sleeves](http://www.dreamstime.com/royalty-free-stock-images-rabbit-top-hat-tuxedo-stic-image18778129). ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2014, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/325 "2014-08-14T19:35:31Z")
Why is it ALWAYS the grossest responses that are posted around lunchtime? ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2014, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/326 "2014-08-14T20:25:47Z")
It’s always lunchtime somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Srsly\_Dad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/53a042/32.png) [@Srsly\_Dad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Srsly_Dad)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2014, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/327 "2014-08-14T20:44:58Z")
Once on a road trip in college, we drove way out of our way just to go [here](http://img.fark.net/images/cache/850/D/Du/fark_Du3OCMk13ZxNjehXB4FkNmbfppI.jpg?t=wtYbbv1NOXw2__yhlgYAnw&f=1408334400) So we could take our pictures next to this [sign](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hvhzc47VVh4/UY7lcrC_vtI/AAAAAAAAEQA/x7wEqMQzcoc/s1600/IMG_0526.JPG) On the way we discovered this [store](http://lessbeatenpaths.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/funny-sign-beaver-lick-trading-post.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2014, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/328 "2014-08-14T21:15:56Z")
Hey! Put some underwear on that squirrel. I’m tryin’ to eat lunch here. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2014, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/329 "2014-08-14T21:21:05Z")
I thought they stored nuts in their cheeks. CKat, are those pecans on your salad? ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2014, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/330 "2014-08-14T21:30:38Z")
I’m guessing walnuts…😉 ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2014, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/331 "2014-08-14T21:42:04Z")
I stayed at the Walnut Astoria once. It wasn’t as luxurious as I expected…kind of seedy, actually. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2014, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/332 "2014-08-14T21:45:41Z")
Did they have packages of Macamadamias in the mini-fridge? ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2014, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/333 "2014-08-15T12:45:28Z")
The prosecutor steps forward to cross-examine the defendant: “_According to the police report, the victim first received a blow to the side of the head_…” (ickiness — )_with the pick-end of the fire ax previously presented as exhibit four. At least twelve to fifteen additional blows were then delivered about the chest, neck and head. These were followed by some 40 to 60 strokes with the blade of the ax, leaving the victim’s body hacked, bloody and partially dismembered. The coroner has determined that the first blow was not immediately fatal, and the victim may have been pleading for mercy during the brutal assault._" The prosecutor looks at the defendant.  The defendant looks nervously around the courtroom, at last fixing his gaze on the jury box, “_I hadn’t had my coffee yet_.”  The judge groans as prosecutor throws up his hands, the papers he was holding go flying. The gavel comes down so hard the disk bounces up and spins slowly to a rest. The judge turns to the defendant, ''_Why did you not mention this earlier? I am fining you $7000 for contempt, for wasting the court’s valuable time. As to the question of murder, case dismissed._" ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2014, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/334 "2014-08-15T14:18:52Z")
Oooo, that was dark. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2014, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/335 "2014-08-15T16:13:41Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > The prosecutor steps forward to cross-examine the defendant: “_According to the police report, the victim first received a blow to the side of the head_…” (ickiness — )_with the pick-end of the fire ax previously presented as exhibit four. At least twelve to fifteen additional blows were then delivered about the chest, neck and head. These were followed by some 40 to 60 strokes with the blade of the ax, leaving the victim’s body hacked, bloody and partially dismembered. The coroner has determined that the first blow was not immediately fatal, and the victim may have been pleading for mercy during the brutal assault._" The prosecutor looks at the defendant. >  > The defendant looks nervously around the courtroom, at last fixing his gaze on the jury box, “_I hadn’t had my coffee yet_.” >  > The judge groans as prosecutor throws up his hands, the papers he was holding go flying. The gavel comes down so hard the disk bounces up and spins slowly to a rest. The judge turns to the defendant, ''_Why did you not mention this earlier? I am fining you $7000 for contempt, for wasting the court’s valuable time. As to the question of murder, case dismissed._" This was well written and entertaining, but I do have one question: Decaf? ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2014, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/336 "2014-08-15T16:16:21Z")
It’s not about a cow. It’s about a guy who didn’t get his coffee. Get with the program. ---
**Author:** ![CodeB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85e7bf/32.png) [@CodeB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CodeB)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2014, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/337 "2014-08-15T16:48:10Z")
I’m just being silly ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2014, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/338 "2014-08-15T17:28:18Z")
Does silly know that you’re imitating them? You could get into big trouble with that, even in Little China. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2014, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/339 "2014-08-15T17:46:33Z")
I have a bad attitude, but it seems to have earned me a peerage, because people keep calling me “Sir”. “Sir Lee”. ---
**Author:** ![Srsly\_Dad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/53a042/32.png) [@Srsly\_Dad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Srsly_Dad)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2014, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/340 "2014-08-15T20:28:42Z")
I know a guy with pee rage. He has an inflamed prostate and he get pissed off every time he tries to urinate. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306.md?page=16) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306.md?page=18)