# Pure random silliness thread? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 17, 2014, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306 "2014-04-17T02:29:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/101 "2014-06-15T17:10:18Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > CK, you got some ‘splainin’ to do. 😕 It’s from Joseph Heller’s _Catch 22_. Milo Minderbinder had cornered the Egyptian cotton market and invented the chocolate-covered cotton-ball. I was reading the book late at night, and for some reason the idea of chocolate-covered cotton struck me as hilarious. I read the words over and over, laughing for ten minutes with tears running down my cheeks. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2014, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/102 "2014-06-17T06:05:49Z")
> [@CheshireKat](#): > > It’s from Joseph Heller’s _Catch 22_. Milo Minderbinder had cornered the Egyptian cotton market and invented the chocolate-covered cotton-ball. I was reading the book late at night, and for some reason the idea of chocolate-covered cotton struck me as hilarious. I read the words over and over, laughing for ten minutes with tears running down my cheeks. 😃 Well, no wonder burpo was confused, you left out the word “naked”. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2014, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/103 "2014-06-17T12:31:38Z")
YEAH! Now you’re talking. Wait…what? ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2014, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/104 "2014-06-17T14:12:49Z")
Hey! I can’t handle Eddie Vedder (Any songs turn you on? thread) AND naked in the same hour. Let’s discuss ice cubes. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2014, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/105 "2014-06-17T15:00:30Z")
Let’s don’t and say we did. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/106 "2014-06-18T16:45:00Z")
When I die and they lay me to rest Gonna go to the place that’s best When they lay me down to die Goin on up to the place where there are no ninjas and all my replies are posted. ---
**Author:** ![Zyanthia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Zyanthia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyanthia)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/107 "2014-06-18T19:51:40Z")
Just wanted to warn people not to carry sharp objects in their pockets at the water slide parks. We just had an accident where the next person on the slide hit the object and cut his big toe off. The ambulance refused to come because it was out of their range. They ended up calling a toe-truck. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/108 "2014-06-18T20:05:39Z")
> [@Zyanthia](#): > > Just wanted to warn people not to carry sharp objects in their pockets at the water slide parks. We just had an accident where the next person on the slide hit the object and cut his big toe off. The ambulance refused to come because it was out of their range. > > They ended up calling a toe-truck. No jury would convict me if I came there and poked you with a sharp stick. NONE. ---
**Author:** ![Hopeful\_Crow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/da6949/32.png) [@Hopeful\_Crow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hopeful_Crow)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/109 "2014-06-18T20:28:33Z")
> [@CheshireKat](#): > > When I die and they lay me to rest > Gonna go to the place that’s best > When they lay me down to die > Goin on up to the place where there are no ninjas and all my replies are posted. Makes me think of Steve Martin– When I die, Now don’t think I’m a nut, Don’t want no fancy funeral, Just one like ol’ King Tut! Do old presidents wear boxers or briefs? Depends. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/110 "2014-06-18T21:23:02Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > No jury would convict me if I came there and poked you with a sharp stick. NONE. SHARP STICK! SHARP STICK! SHARP STICK! SHARP STICK! Ahh…that’s better. ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/111 "2014-06-18T21:30:09Z")
Mom used to draw an invisible line dividing the back seat of the car, and my brother and I had to sit in our own area. It didn’t stop me. I’d poke my finger into his space and yell “I’M IN YOUR AIR! I’M IN YOUR AIR!” ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/112 "2014-06-18T22:09:38Z")
Back when I was a kid (cue harmonica), the back seat floorboards in the car were big enough for an ACTUAL CHILD to comfortably lay down, spread out, take a nap, get Coke spilled on ya by the mope up in the seat; good times! ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/113 "2014-06-18T22:14:05Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > Back when I was a kid (cue harmonica), the back seat floorboards in the car were big enough for an ACTUAL CHILD to comfortably lay down, spread out, take a nap, get Coke spilled on ya by the mope up in the seat; good times! But what about the bump in the middle? Or are you too young to understand that question? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/114 "2014-06-18T22:23:38Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > But what about the bump in the middle? Or are you too young to understand that question? 😃 \ Now then. The hump in the middle was your (admittedly dirty) headrest. I should have said the car was wide enough for TWO ACTUAL CHILDREN to take advantage of the floorboard; one on each side of the hump. Now go fetch Grandpa some more bourbon. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/115 "2014-06-18T22:29:26Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > \ > > Now then. The hump in the middle was your (admittedly dirty) headrest. I should have said the car was wide enough for TWO ACTUAL CHILDREN to take advantage of the floorboard; one on each side of the hump. > > Now go fetch Grandpa some more bourbon. :smack: Wow, Grandpa. You sure were _short_. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/116 "2014-06-18T22:35:33Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Wow, Grandpa. You sure were _short_. You had to bend your knees slightly. I didn’t say I was 15! Don’t sass yer elders, whippersnapper. 😃 And where the hell’s that bourbon? ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/117 "2014-06-18T22:35:39Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Wow, Grandpa. You sure were _short_. It’s all in the curl. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/118 "2014-06-18T22:53:11Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Wow, Grandpa. You sure were _short_. Dammit, girlie, the car was 24 feet wide, 75 feet long, had 29 cylinders, got 315 feet to the gallon, had 18 ashtrays, the trunk could hold 6 suitcases and an insulated metal cooler the size of a sofa, stocked with enough fried chicken and hard-boiled eggs to keep you on the road for 4 solid days. And when Patrick What’s-his-name slammed the trunk in that dumbass dancin’ movie, it sounded just like that and you could hear it 2 counties over… Where’s my nitro? ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/119 "2014-06-18T23:03:19Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > Dammit, girlie, the car was 24 feet wide, 75 feet long soft as a downy chick! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306/120 "2014-06-18T23:17:00Z")
SOFT AS A D…JEBUS, MARVIN AND JOBETH WILLIAMS!! You ain’t gettin the feather bed tonight, smartie-pants! You can sleep in the car! On the floorboard! Should be nice and comfy! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pure-random-silliness-thread/686306.md?page=7)