It’s sad really, and of course they do it all in the name of Jesus! :eek:
That was the one that got me, too. This child is irreparably damaged. I picture her discussing things like “dirty pillows” with her parents. They should be jailed.
Well, if there’s anything to nominative determinism, then the excerpt that Kalhoun quoted earlier seems to back you up:
Now that I’m awake…
I’ll admit that my father was overly interested in mine and my girlfriends virginity status. The fact that he is an unrepentant child molester probably doesn’t factor into that one little bit, no sirree, bob!
My daughter is 18 months old and I can not fathom her father, my husband wanting to be aware of her budding sexuality any time in the next say, 50-70 years. Standing up in front of a group of people and talking about her purity? Oh sweet pickles, I’m sure he’d rather just die.
My brothers daughter is 11. She is gorgeous and doesn’t look 11 at all. He wants to put her in a box to keep the boys away, not doll her up in a frilly dress and flaunt her around a bunch of perverts.
Maybe my perspective is skewed, but I am quite happy with it. Those guys are complete freaks. You teach your daughter how she deserves to be treated not by swearing pledges to her, but how you treat your wife. You want your child to grow up, respect themselves and respect others and learn how to be in a healthy loving relationship? THEN HAVE ONE YOURSELF.
I recently had a long talk with my husband where I pointed out it didn’t matter one tinkers damn to me how well he treated our daughter if he treated me like crap and I’d be damned to let her grow up and think that that was the best she could deserve.
Those fathers should be dancing with their wives and pledging their “purity” to them, not to their freakin’ 11 year old daughters.
Twisted fuckers.
I bet you like me better before I wake up, eh?
Auntbeast, way to gonad to all of the sniping around here. Maybe we could all show a little more deferens.
Man, I was trying not to cheer out loud as I read that post!
Is this considered one of their “family jewels”?
I agree. As much as the thought of teaching sex and sexuality to the Mouseling scares me, I would rather have a well-informed competent child than a cloistered neurotic.
Or more sex issues than Cosmo.
No kissing before marraige? Eh? How the crap does that work? What if the dude she wants to marry ends up having halitosis? And the no sex before marriage thing is weird to me too…sexual chemistry is an important part of a relationship.
I think these purity ball things are beyond creepy. My dad would definitely rather die than talk about sex with me. I really don’t think its healthy for parents to push this on their kids when they are too young to understand it. Parents should just care that their kids are being safe and smart about sex. Preach the pill and condom use, not no sex.
I was just chatting with my 77-year old dad. I mentioned the Purity Ball thing and the puns we were making. He said, “Those fathers…they’re just so *cock-sure * their daughters won’t have pre-marital sex…” We had a good guffaw over it.
Ye gods. If my dad had made me swear something like that I’d have a neurosis right now.
Seriously, it’s not healthy to be interested in your 11-year-old’s sexuality. I have problems getting my husband to understand that his 13-year-old is entering puberty and is “going to be interested in boys” now. My dad was so upset when I got my period that he didn’t look me in the eye for a week - not because I was bleeding, but because it meant I could get pregnant now and it made him uncomfortable. His baby girl was growing up. (Incidentally, he has problems even now, 10 years later, despite the fact that I’m married, knowing that I have sex. It really bothers him. A lot - because he remembers the 7-year-old tomboy who would run crying to daddy when she skinned her knees falling out of a tree)
Any father who would WANT to talk about sex to their 11-year-old really disturbs me, honestly. An 11-year-old is not a sexual being (in normal circumstances, anyway). They’re little girls confused by the weird changes they’re starting to get in their bodies. They do not need something like this muddling it.
I vote for punching the dads in the face.
~Tasha
Just add ‘Carrie’ and you’d have a pretty cool horror show.
…and a lawsuit from Stephen King.
Yay! Someone got my “Carrie” reference!
Meh. I just wash mine while I shower, no fuss no muss. Perhaps they aren’t totally pure, but you don’t want to scrub too hard.
I think Auntbeast pretty much covered my opinion. That is some weird freakin’ shit. Of course, the real victims here are, as usual, the children, who get this twisted mess instead of a healthy knowledge of what sex is and can be for them, a good self-esteem to make good decisions with, and no guilt and hang-ups about a normal biological function.
I also can’t help but think of how messed up girls that have gone through this are when they inevitably fall off the “purity” wagon. They’re impure and dirty now, are they? How can they not make the connections that if this is what’s right, if they do anything else they are bad and wrong, and their dad won’t love them any more? Sheesh.
And what about the boys? Are they making the same pledges and getting messed up about sex in the same ways? Or is it still that same ol’ double standard, that boys are normal if they want sex but girls are just dirty?
Why not have some orgamization having teens pledge to only have safe sex? There is still the creepy angle of being a little too involved in your child’s sexuality, but on the flip side I feel like these daughters are being put at an even greater risk by this establishment, because (just anedotally)
-The 88% that do break their pledge are probably less likely to use any kind of protection, because under the circumstances its either going to be so spontaneous they don’t think of it or it would be out of ignorance (the whole argument of "Why does my daughter need to know about sex ex when she’s not supposed to be having any?)
-The pledge is obviously vague and confusing to some girls, who will no doubt feel that other sexual practices such as anal/oral sex “don’t count” and put themselves at risk.
-It is a blatant double standard, utterly sexist and downright creepy. Like others have said, where are the boys in all of this?
-A sick part of me is really wondering what these women’s wedding nights are going to be like. I swear to god, they are going to have sex for the first time and it will be awkward and bad probably, since they were told ‘no’ for the first 22 years of their life, but because its ok now, not only are they going to have to wrap that around their head, they have no experience or basis for comparison. Their husband could be horribly bad/selfish in the sack and they wouldn’t know. This seems unfair to me.
-As others have said, sexual compatibility is a big part of a relationship. I’d be interested to know if there were any statistics comparing divorce rates for people who took (and upheld) purity pledges, and those who didn’t. That, and you’d also have to look at couples’ dissatisfaction with marraige (since there are plenty of married people who are miserable but stay in the relationship for umpteen reasons- marraige is not a symbol of relationship stability in my opinion)
I’m even more curious as to why it’s the fathers taking this active role rather than the mothers (with regard to sexual expectations). It has a creepy air of sexual control freakosity that cannot be ignored.
Just stepping in with some anecdotes as to how this kind of thing can really mess a person up.
I’ve known several girls in college who had made a similar pledge, though they all had ‘chastity rings’ rather than ‘purity balls’ (which unfortunately provide many fewer opportunities for entertaining puns). Without exception all of the girls I knew were quite bitter about the whole thing. Some of them wished they had never made the deal, but because it had been reinforced in their minds for so many years it still was there like some metal block. They always felt guilty about having any sort of physical relationships. Others said that they wanted to wait until married (though I don’t think any of them were as strict as to say ‘no kissing’) but they said that they wished they could have waited and made that decision on their own when they were old enough to understand what they were committing to rather than being coerced into it at 11 years old.
In both situations they all considered the whole deal to be an albatross about the neck.
I had a Google around, and some dude suggests Slut Balls as an alternative activity for some femmy-types who protested their virgin auctions.Now, I don’t think protesters should be interfering with the event any more than fetus-worshippers should harass abortion seekers, but Gods damn, these girls need to hear that their value as a human is not based on what they do or do not do with their pussy.
Oh, bonus points for having a Purity Ball in a town called “Spearfish”. Imagery ahoy! 
Because everyone knows that the rightful owner of any given vagina is the man in charge of either protecting it, or (with the blessing of the former) utilizing it. Vaginas are *of * girls, not *for * them, silly! Girls aren’t to be trusted with such potentially devastating power as the control of their own vaginas!!!
