# purplebear's 500th post party/pillow fight

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/purplebears-500th-post-party-pillow-fight/15975>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [April 9, 2000, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/purplebears-500th-post-party-pillow-fight/15975 "2000-04-09T23:53:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\
**Post date:** [April 10, 2000, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/purplebears-500th-post-party-pillow-fight/15975/41 "2000-04-10T23:35:00Z")

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\<in walks lexicon in a tux with a white jacket. has a rose in his hand.  
sean connery voice=on\>  
shmashing party, my dear.  
\<hands rose to purplebear and kisses her hand.\>  
Good thing you have joined the ransh of thoshe of ush who have 500 poshtsh and more.

My soiree kind of fizhled, sho I knew that I would shtand more of a chance of making my preshenche felt over here.

\<Sits down next to Wally and hands him a fine cuban cigar, lighting one up himself\>

That’ll be a vodka martini, dear. Shaken, not stirred.

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**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\
**Post date:** [April 11, 2000, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/purplebears-500th-post-party-pillow-fight/15975/42 "2000-04-11T02:19:00Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Originally posted by Lexicon:  
> \*\*\<in walks lexicon in a tux with a white jacket. has a rose in his hand.  
> sean connery voice=on\>  
> shmashing party, my dear.  
> \<hands rose to purplebear and kisses her hand.\>  
> Good thing you have joined the ransh of thoshe of ush who have 500 poshtsh and more.
> 
> That’ll be a vodka martini, dear. Shaken, not stirred. \*\*

\<coming back into the room, wearing only her Fredericks of Hollywood lingerie, purplebear is pleased to find more people stopped by\>

Why, thank you so much, dear Lexi! :o  
Too kind, too kind. Here is your drink, shaken, not stirred, per request.

Angkins, welcome to the party. Thank you for bringing the tequila shooters! By all means, hop into the tub, maybe you can stir up these guys. 😉

pipefitter, my dear, welcome, welcome! Of course the tub is _quite_ hot! Oh, wait, you meant the temp of the water! :o  
Plenty of food left for you too, dear.

oh, weirddave, would you? ooooooooooohhhhhh, I like it, I like it! 😉

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**Author:** ![Surgoshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Surgoshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surgoshan)\
**Post date:** [April 11, 2000, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/purplebears-500th-post-party-pillow-fight/15975/43 "2000-04-11T02:38:00Z")

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Lex you bastard! You stole my routine! **I** do Sean Connery! ME! ME!  
::sobs::

::consoles himself with a drink.::

::Follows it with another for moral support.::

::Gets worried that they haven’t reported back yet, and sends a third for reconnaissance::

::sends down two more to find the third one, slap it into shape, and go after the first two all together::

::Sends down a sixth to make sure four and five understood those complicated instructions::

::Seriously alarmed at the lack of notice from the first six, sends down seven, eight, nine, and ten, all at once to tackle whatever beast is down there::

: :passes out::

* * *

I sold my soul to Satan for a dollar. I got it in the mail.

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**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\
**Post date:** [April 11, 2000, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/purplebears-500th-post-party-pillow-fight/15975/44 "2000-04-11T03:39:00Z")

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Surg,

That was more of a George Lazenby Bond.

* * *

Cecil said it. I believe it. That settles it.

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**Author:** ![Girlbysea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Girlbysea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlbysea)\
**Post date:** [April 11, 2000, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/purplebears-500th-post-party-pillow-fight/15975/45 "2000-04-11T12:54:00Z")

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Congratulations my friend. Your words are very special to me…

* * *

Life is like a river, changing as it flows…

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**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\
**Post date:** [April 11, 2000, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/purplebears-500th-post-party-pillow-fight/15975/46 "2000-04-11T15:02:00Z")

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Surg, I don’t know about you! Why don’t you come over here and lay down on these pillows, since no one seems to want to start the fight?

weirddave, so glad that you’re still here. \<uuuuhhhhh! huff! dragggggging sounds…\> say, would you give me a hand with Surg, here? Talk about a dead weight!

GBS, HI!! Welcome to my party!! :o Thank you for that. I am so glad that you stopped by. What will be your pleasure? A hard drink, some iced tea, some milk? The drinks and the food are right over here.

* * *

You are more than a human being, you are a human becoming.  
Og Mandino

That’s my name, not a description. I am neither purple nor a bear. Okay, so I’m purple.\<a true Wally original!\>

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**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\
**Post date:** [April 11, 2000, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/purplebears-500th-post-party-pillow-fight/15975/47 "2000-04-11T16:39:00Z")

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Jesus, Surg, no wonder those drinks got lost, they couldn’t find their way around all those rocks you’ve obviously eaten. Say…forget the pillows, lets do this:

:: Props Surg up on the lawn like a lawn jockey:: hehehe

* * *

Cecil said it. I believe it. That settles it.

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**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\
**Post date:** [April 12, 2000, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/purplebears-500th-post-party-pillow-fight/15975/48 "2000-04-12T05:04:00Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Surg, I don’t know about you! Why don’t you come over here and lay down on these pillows, since no one seems to want to start the fight?

\< Nails purplebear with the patented Sealemon88 Hyped Up On Crack Super Secret Ninja Pillow Assualt Of Flaming Death \>

**THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACKTHWACKTHWACKTHWACK!**

Now, while PB recovers, Ankins and I have to have a…“discussion” over here…

* * *

You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing.

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**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\
**Post date:** [April 12, 2000, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/purplebears-500th-post-party-pillow-fight/15975/49 "2000-04-12T05:54:00Z")

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_giggles_ Thanks, weirddave, for helping me with Surg. _giggles_ I wonder what he’ll think when he wakes up?!?! 😃  
And, should we carry Ophy out to join him?

\<suddenly, purplebear gets hit from behind, and pelted by Seale’s whatzit pillow\>  
\<reeling from numerous hits, pbear takes a moment to compose herself, and launches her counterattack at him\>

Running up behind him while he’s distracted by Ang, she quickly **thwacks** him with both of her large fluffy pillows…  
Take **That**!! and **That**!!  
\<aside to anyone peeking in here, no, not _those_ pillows! geeeesh!\>

she then runs to the other side of the room, looking for the flavored oils, discards the remainder of her clothes, and starts oiling herself up… who’s next?

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**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\
**Post date:** [April 11, 2000, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/purplebears-500th-post-party-pillow-fight/15975/50 "2000-04-11T20:08:00Z")

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Hmmmmm. Naked. oiled. _those_ two big luscious pillows. You own me one for helping with Surg  
Ummm…ME?  
Or we could retire in private and I’ll oil myself up too. We won’t be back for days, but we won’t notice. What say?

* * *

Cecil said it. I believe it. That settles it.

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**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\
**Post date:** [April 11, 2000, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/purplebears-500th-post-party-pillow-fight/15975/51 "2000-04-11T20:24:00Z")

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_sneaks in, grabs a pillow_

Oh VB…THWACK!!! _runs away, laughing_

And happy 500th, purp!

* * *

Homepage: [www.tiercel.com](http://www.tiercel.com)  
Occupation: Culling slow moving vermin  
Location: The wild blue yonder.  
Interests: Thermals, updrafts, downdrafts, air currents in general.  
(Profile by UncleBeer.)

Environment? Nah. Mood lighting and ambience is what counts. - a genuine **WallyM7** sig

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**Author:** ![Surgoshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Surgoshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surgoshan)\
**Post date:** [April 11, 2000, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/purplebears-500th-post-party-pillow-fight/15975/52 "2000-04-11T20:36:00Z")

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::wakes up to find himself holding a small wheelbarrow and surrounded by ceramic gnomes. Hearing the party, he goes inside.::

::And gets hit in the face with a pillow::

All right, Sealemon! You DIE!!

::starts chucking pillows at Sea::

* * *

I sold my soul to Satan for a dollar. I got it in the mail.

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**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\
**Post date:** [April 11, 2000, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/purplebears-500th-post-party-pillow-fight/15975/53 "2000-04-11T21:35:00Z")

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Why weirddave, I thought you’d never ask! Here’s the oil, and I’ll be right with you. But, first, I must take care of Surg here.

\<sneaking up behind him, she **thwacks** him with a pillow on one side and spray of whipped creme from the other\>  
Take _ **that** _ and _ **that** _!! Just cause, I wanted to, and for passing out at my party!

\<then, before Falc can get away, she hits her across her back with one of her pillows\>  
heh heh heh! Hi, Falcon!

\<turning around, she sees weirddave trying to sneak up on her with some more whipped creme\> oh, so you wanna play rough do you?  
_ **THWACK** _ and suddenly feathers go flying everywhere…

* * *

You are more than a human being, you are a human becoming.  
Og Mandino

That’s my name, not a description. I am neither purple nor a bear. Okay, so I’m purple.\<a true Wally original!\>

---

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**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\
**Post date:** [April 12, 2000, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/purplebears-500th-post-party-pillow-fight/15975/54 "2000-04-12T00:13:00Z")

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You wouldda liked what I was going to do with the whipped cream,PB baby!

* * *

Cecil said it. I believe it. That settles it.

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**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\
**Post date:** [April 12, 2000, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/purplebears-500th-post-party-pillow-fight/15975/55 "2000-04-12T01:09:00Z")

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oh?? Well, then, weirddave, come on over and show me… 😉

Hey, where’d eveyone else go??

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**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\
**Post date:** [April 12, 2000, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/purplebears-500th-post-party-pillow-fight/15975/56 "2000-04-12T02:50:00Z")

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We could retitle this thread weirddave and PB’s private orgy, and I bet they’d all show up to see where I was licking! We could start out by having me give you a cat bath…

* * *

Cecil said it. I believe it. That settles it.

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**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\
**Post date:** [April 12, 2000, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/purplebears-500th-post-party-pillow-fight/15975/57 "2000-04-12T13:49:00Z")

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weirddave, I, uh, oh,my… I don’t know what to say. :o Thank you, flattery will get you anywhere \<well, almost anywhere\>. Perhaps we should discuss the particulars over here on the back patio…

Sigh. You leave the room for a few minutes…

* * *

You are more than a human being, you are a human becoming.  
Og Mandino

That’s my name, not a description. I am neither purple nor a bear. Okay, so I’m purple.\<a true Wally original!\>

---

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**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\
**Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/purplebears-500th-post-party-pillow-fight/15975/58 "2000-04-13T02:43:00Z")

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Straightening up the room, putting out the trash, and making sure the food is put away, purplebear grabs her favorite pillows, and turns the lights out as she leaves the room.

Thanks for a great party, ya’ll!

* * *

You are more than a human being, you are a human becoming.  
Og Mandino

That’s my name, not a description. I am neither purple nor a bear. Okay, so I’m purple.\<a true Wally original!\>

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**Author:** ![pipefitter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/97f17d/32.png) [@pipefitter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pipefitter)\
**Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/purplebears-500th-post-party-pillow-fight/15975/59 "2000-04-13T07:44:00Z")

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Sorry the party is over, but can I help with the cleanup?  
Hate to leave such a mess here. There’s feathers, empty bottles, whipped cream, and what’s this chocolate syrup, lying all around here.  
You relax, I’ll take care of this(I’ll even wash up the dishes)  
Take care and congrats again.  
See you Saturday 🙂 😉 🙂 😉 🙂 😉

* * *

Hand me that wrench. No, the one that looks like a hammer.  
Sig Courtesy of Walley

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**Author:** ![pipefitter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/97f17d/32.png) [@pipefitter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pipefitter)\
**Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/purplebears-500th-post-party-pillow-fight/15975/60 "2000-04-13T08:04:00Z")

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Sorry the party is over, but can I help with the cleanup?  
Hate to leave such a mess here. There’s feathers, empty bottles, whipped cream, and what’s this chocolate syrup, lying all around here.  
You relax, I’ll take care of this(I’ll even wash up the dishes)  
Take care and congrats again.  
See you Saturday 🙂 😉 🙂 😉 🙂 😉

* * *

Hand me that wrench. No, the one that looks like a hammer.  
Sig Courtesy of Walley

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