# Push Button to Destroy Earth. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 5, 2006, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/push-button-to-destroy-earth/379195 "2006-11-05T18:22:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2006, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/push-button-to-destroy-earth/379195/1 "2006-11-05T18:22:12Z")
Say during some archaelogical dig we find a giant red button. The runes around it, when translated, tell us that an advanced alien species filled the Earth with powerful explosives which pressing the button will set off, destroying the Earth. So; how long until someone presses the button? I’d give it about a week. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2006, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/push-button-to-destroy-earth/379195/2 "2006-11-05T18:24:50Z")
We wouldn’t even make it through the translation process. About three minutes into it, some guy would say “I wonder what will happen if I push this?” and those will be the last words spoken by Mankind. Kinda fitting, that. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2006, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/push-button-to-destroy-earth/379195/3 "2006-11-05T18:51:02Z")
…the shiny, candy-colored button? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2006, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/push-button-to-destroy-earth/379195/4 "2006-11-05T19:07:15Z")
There are three facets to male thought: 1. if one is good, two must be better. 2. if there’s a hole, something’s going in it. 3. if there’s a big, shiny red button or lever, it must be inspected/poked/prodded/pulled/pushed. Obviously, this is a guy thing. I suspect that very few women would ever push it. I think it’s the same sequence in the genetic code that causes women to yell and scream and push your hand away when you say there’s something that smells funny on your finger. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/push-button-to-destroy-earth/379195/5 "2006-11-06T13:31:38Z")
It’s kind of like telling people, “Don’t touch that, it’s hot.” They just have to touch it to be sure. “Ouch! Shit, that’s hot!” “I know, that’s why I said not to touch it, moron.” ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/push-button-to-destroy-earth/379195/6 "2006-11-06T14:50:27Z")
Oner of the very earliest Fleischer cartoons had just this as its theme. **Koko’s World Control** from 1928: [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0136320/](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0136320/) Of course Koko (or rather, his dog, IIRC) pushed the lever. In less than three minutes. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/push-button-to-destroy-earth/379195/7 "2006-11-06T17:40:20Z")
:: Causully leans on big red button, accidentally depressing it :: So, mates. How’s the translation going then, eh? ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/push-button-to-destroy-earth/379195/8 "2006-11-06T17:48:39Z")
[QUOTE=Revenant Threshold] So; how long until someone presses the button? [/QUOTE] Ohhh, until roughly three seconds after I get there. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/push-button-to-destroy-earth/379195/9 "2006-11-06T18:06:56Z")
[QUOTE=Winston Smith] :: Causully leans on big red button, accidentally depressing it :: So, mates. How’s the translation going then, eh? [/QUOTE] Accidentally my white Irish arse. I was coming in here just to say “Until \*\*Winston \*\* or \*\*Skald \*\* gets there”. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/push-button-to-destroy-earth/379195/10 "2006-11-06T18:15:14Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] …the shiny, candy-colored button? 😃 [/QUOTE] The classic Ren and Stimpy “Space Madness” [Clip of the scene for anyone that is wondering.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nz2EGzVOWXg) ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/push-button-to-destroy-earth/379195/11 "2006-11-06T19:30:31Z")
If I’m on the team, about 5 seconds. “Oh pretty! What does it do?” ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/push-button-to-destroy-earth/379195/12 "2006-11-06T20:04:25Z")
I work at a large technology company whose name you would all recognize. In our corporate data center, there is a large red button on the wall. There is no label, and there are no instructions. The button is not protected with a cover or otherwise made inaccessible. It’s just a big red button on the wall. Everyone assumes the button is an emergency power cutoff, which can be pressed in the event of data center fire, or if V-Ger tries to download our memory core, or whatever. It’s a pretty good guess. Most data centers have something like this. But here’s the thing: nobody knows for sure. Because we have had total staff turnover from the time the data center was designed and built. There’s nobody still at the company who was there when the button was installed. And there is absolutely no documentation about what the button is connected to. So while it’s a reasonable assumption that the big red button is a failsafe of some variety, we have no idea _exactly_ what it will do or, more importantly, what would or should be done to reverse its effects in the event it gets pressed. Needless to say, everybody really, really, _really_ wants to press it. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/push-button-to-destroy-earth/379195/13 "2006-11-06T20:05:56Z")
[QUOTE=DeVena] If I’m on the team, about 5 seconds. “Oh pretty! What does it do?” [/QUOTE] It’ll convert the two nuclear-tipped interceptors heading straight for you to suddenly and improbaby be transmuted into a sperm whale and a bowl of pentunias several miles above the surface of the Earth. “Oh no, not again.” Stranger ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/push-button-to-destroy-earth/379195/14 "2006-11-06T20:47:10Z")
“Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying ‘End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH,’ the paint wouldn’t even have time to dry.” –Terry Pratchett, _Thief of Time_ ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/push-button-to-destroy-earth/379195/15 "2006-11-06T21:18:52Z")
Why would anyone want to destroy the Earth anyway? Is it obstructing someone’s view of Venus? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/push-button-to-destroy-earth/379195/16 "2006-11-06T21:23:21Z")
[QUOTE=JThunder] Is it obstructing someone’s view of Venus? [/QUOTE] It’s obstructing my view of Uranus. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/push-button-to-destroy-earth/379195/17 "2006-11-06T22:53:06Z")
C’mon, folks. How long will it really take us to translate those extraterrestrial runes- they’re only [four characters long](http://adweek.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/easy3_1.jpg) 😃 Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/push-button-to-destroy-earth/379195/18 "2006-11-06T23:21:07Z")
Didn’t we set off our first atomic bomb despite some calculations showing that there was a chance it would ignite the entire atmosphere? I think our hypothetical button would get pressed pretty quick. But I have empirical evidence: once when I was first to arrive at our warehouse in the morning, I found a problem with our electrically-operated overhead door. Since the switch was not equipped with a lock-out device and I didn’t know where the circuit breaker was, I hung a red tag, with the words DO NOT USE, over the switch until we could get someone to work on it. Not five minutes later I watched as another guy came in, read the words on the tag, then lifted it and _flipped the switch_. Oh, and **Cervaise** , if anyone ever does push that button at your data center, we all want to know what happened. If the Internet is still working after that, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2006, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/push-button-to-destroy-earth/379195/19 "2006-11-07T00:06:24Z")
Activate the Omega 13! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2006, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/push-button-to-destroy-earth/379195/20 "2006-11-07T02:49:22Z")
\*‘Go nuclear,’ the Cowboy told us And who am I do disagree? For when the madman flips the switch The nuclear will go for me. The lunatics have taken over the asylum…\* – Fun Boy Three, ‘The Lunatics (Have Taken Over The Asylum)’ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/push-button-to-destroy-earth/379195.md?page=2)