# Pushing a Door Open Is for Saps **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 1, 2004, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pushing-a-door-open-is-for-saps/248049 "2004-06-01T12:03:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Wintermute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@Wintermute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wintermute)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pushing-a-door-open-is-for-saps/248049/81 "2004-06-02T21:49:46Z")
> [@Tupug Anachi](#): > > Oh, and [bratty know-it-all-voice] **Magnitude** is 1 a : great size or extent b (1) : spatial quality : SIZE (2) : QUANTITY, NUMBER > 2 : the importance, quality, or caliber of something > 3 : a number representing the intrinsic or apparent brightness of a celestial body on a logarithmic scale in which an increase of one unit corresponds to a reduction in the brightness of light by a factor of 2.512 > 4 : a numerical quantitative measure expressed usually as a multiple of a standard unit > > Tupug > _Have computer – Will define_ So, **Rue** , which is it? Do you have a large number of animals or just one really, really big one? ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pushing-a-door-open-is-for-saps/248049/82 "2004-06-02T22:33:06Z")
Thank you very much for the Birthday wishes **Tupug** and **Swampy** , and kisses back at **Miss Moose** and hugs to you and the crew **FCM**. I also tried to look up spelt and smelt (and possibly svelte) in my gigantic old dictionary, but the relevant entries were very terse and didn’t lend themselves to levity at all, so I passed. I believe I have a Norwegian bachelor dictionary, it’s a Mirriam-Webstergaard. ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pushing-a-door-open-is-for-saps/248049/83 "2004-06-02T22:34:18Z")
Happy Birthday **Bumba**! Wahoo! Right now, even though you can’t tell, I’m doing my little happy birthday to Bumba dance. No turtles this year though, sorry. I’ve actually been working, so I’m very late to this thread, darn that end of the school year madness. My classroom is frighteningly organized and my grades are up to date. While catching up, I’ve decided I adore **Kallessa** even more because she agrees with me that Krispy Kreme doughnuts are spelled stupidly, _unneccessarily_ stupidly, and that they’re too sweet. Cafe Du Monde sells their coffee too, it’s strong but yummy. I add that because **Tupug** stole my smartiness at knowing what spelt was, without even having to look in the dictionary, and I wanted to contribute something. Not that I’ve contributed anything of value. But I’ve contributed. ---
**Author:** ![dwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwyr/32/363_2.png) [@dwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwyr)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pushing-a-door-open-is-for-saps/248049/84 "2004-06-02T22:42:51Z")
Spelt is a quite tasty grain. I’ve got a bagful in my pantry. It’s chunk-full o’ vitamins and stuff like that. Farro is also good eating. It’s an older version of wheat that makes a nice risotto-like dish. Not like pharoah, which probably wouldn’t be very good cooked. More of a jerky I’d think. ---
**Author:** ![DanBlather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@DanBlather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DanBlather)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pushing-a-door-open-is-for-saps/248049/85 "2004-06-02T23:27:13Z")
> [@DanBlather](#): > > I was just at Target yesterday and wondered the same thing. I sent email off to Target customer service to see what’s up with that. Is it just me, or does everyone think Target is 1,000 times nicer than WalMart? Here is Target’s response, kind of a let down: > [@](#): > > Dear Dan, > > Thank you for your e-mail regarding Target stores having two sets of doors. > > It has long been the desire of Target stores to provide guests with the most convenient and efficient shopping experience possible. One of the ways we do this isto offer both automatic and manual door options. We recognize that although convenient, not every guest prefers the automatic style door. For this reason, we have made the decision to give our guests the choice, depending on their preference. We do appreciate your inquiry, and thank you for holding us in high regard. > > We do welcome your feedback, so if we can assist you in the future, please contact our Target Guest Relations team at 1-800-440-0680. We also invite you to share your comments whenever you visit a Target store or on the Internet at [www.target.com](http://www.target.com). > > We value you as our guest and thank you for shopping at Target. > > Sincerely, > > Jeremy B. > Target Guest Relations ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pushing-a-door-open-is-for-saps/248049/86 "2004-06-02T23:29:07Z")
> [@dwyr](#): > > Farro is also good eating. It’s an older version of wheat that makes a nice risotto-like dish. Nuh-uh **dwyr** Farro was the Six Million Dollar Woman and one of Charley’s Angels. You can’t fool me! 😛 I think **Ashes[sup]2[/sup]** and **Kalley** should be doomed to only eating six week old stale donuts from vending machines for maligning that donut of the Gods Krispy Kreme. So there! 😛 **Ex** the only manly thing I’ve done in the past week is someone you don’t know, so there! 😛 -swampbear (just so everybody else doesn’t feel left out: so there! :p) ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pushing-a-door-open-is-for-saps/248049/87 "2004-06-02T23:35:22Z")
> [@Target](#): > > Dear Dan, > > Thank you for your e-mail regarding Target stores having two sets of doors. > > It has long been the desire of Target stores to provide guests with the most convenient and efficient shopping experience possible. One of the ways we do this isto offer both automatic and manual door options. We recognize that although convenient, not every guest prefers the automatic style door. For this reason, we have made the decision to give our guests the choice, depending on their preference. We do appreciate your inquiry, and thank you for holding us in high regard. > > We do welcome your feedback, so if we can assist you in the future, please contact our Target Guest Relations team at 1-800-440-0680. We also invite you to share your comments whenever you visit a Target store or on the Internet at [www.target.com](http://www.target.com). > > We value you as our guest and thank you for shopping at Target. > > Sincerely, > > Jeremy B. > Target Guest Relations **DanBlather** I suggest you write Jeremy B. back and say: If you have guests that are too stupid that they can’t figure stand in front of a door and wait until it opens, then Target is a store that caters to stupid guests. So there! 😛 And while you’re writing them, you might want to add that being guest implies that the stuff they offer is provided for the guest’s enjoyment and that guests shouldn’t be required to pay for taking stuff that has been offered to them. It’s rude. Miss Manners says so. So there! 😛 -swampbear (yes, I have been drinking. What of it? So there! 😛 ) ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pushing-a-door-open-is-for-saps/248049/88 "2004-06-02T23:49:11Z")
> [@Ashes](#): > > While catching up, I’ve decided I adore **Kallessa** even more because she agrees with me that Krispy Kreme doughnuts are spelled stupidly, _unneccessarily_ stupidly, and that they’re too sweet. I’m adored! This must mean I’m adorable, and all this time I just thought I was cute! **Ashes** , I’m going to pick a pocketful of poseys for you! **Bumba, bumba, bum bum, Bumba, bumba, bum bum. Bumba, bumba, bum bum, etc.** That’s my **Bumba Birthday Dance**. Just for **Bumba** darlin’, I do it naked under my clothes. :eek: > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by swampbear_ > I think Ashes2 and Kalley should be doomed to only eating six week old stale donuts from vending machines for maligning that donut of the Gods Krispy Kreme. So there! **Magickly Delicious** doesn’t like them either. So there, yourself! \*I ran around the corner And I ran around the block And I ran right into the donut shop. I picked up a donut And I wiped off the grease And I handed the lady A five-cent piece. Weeeeelllllllllll, She looked at the nickel And she looked at me And she said “this nickel’s No good, you see There’s a whole in the nickel and it goes right through”. I said “there’s a hole in the donut, too”. Thanks for the donut, Bye now.\* 😃 Anyone else remember Homer Price’s story about the donut machine that goes crazy? Captain Kangaroo used to read it to us. A fine story. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2004, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pushing-a-door-open-is-for-saps/248049/89 "2004-06-02T23:57:09Z")
> [@Kallessa](#): > > Anyone else remember Homer Price’s story about the donut machine that goes crazy? Captain Kangaroo used to read it to us. A fine story. **Kalley** I love alllllll those stories! Haven’t thought about em in years. You are now redeemed for making bad comments about Krispy Kremes. Of course now, I’m not going to sleep til I remember the author of Homer Price stories. Therefore you may be in trouble again before the night is over. 😛 > [@](#): > > Magickly Delicious doesn’t like them either. So there, yourself! In that case, may **Magickly Delicious** take **Kalley’s** place in being doomed to only eating six week old stale donuts from vending machines for maligning that donut of the Gods Krispy Kreme. So there! 😛 The name McCloskey or something like that is coming to mind as who wrote Homer Price. I’m off to google! ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pushing-a-door-open-is-for-saps/248049/90 "2004-06-03T00:05:07Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > [The name McCloskey or something like that is coming to mind as who wrote Homer Price. I’m off to google! Robert McCloskey wrote it. I remember reading it in elementary school. The rich lady lost her bracelet in one of the donuts and the black boy found it and got the reward. (I seem to remember him being called “colored” in the book - that can’t be right, can it?) ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pushing-a-door-open-is-for-saps/248049/91 "2004-06-03T00:27:16Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > Robert McCloskey wrote it. I remember reading it in elementary school. The rich lady lost her bracelet in one of the donuts and the black boy found it and got the reward. (I seem to remember him being called “colored” in the book - that can’t be right, can it?) Leave it to a cat who hangs around a library to come up with the answer. 😃 **Kalley** thanks to **BiblioCat** and Google you are off the hook at least for now. 😛 'Cept now I’m jonesing to read some Homer Price, so you best hope I find some soon young lady. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pushing-a-door-open-is-for-saps/248049/92 "2004-06-03T01:30:04Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Have it your way then. I smelt sumpn funny out in the back yard. It wuz a daid fish! What? I at least expected a snerk for the “lax spikes” part. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pushing-a-door-open-is-for-saps/248049/93 "2004-06-03T01:47:57Z")
Gosh, **swampy** , just come on over to my house. I have a whole collection of the Homer Price stories. In fact, I think I’ll read them when I get home. What’ll ya give me if’n I lets ya borrow it? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pushing-a-door-open-is-for-saps/248049/94 "2004-06-03T02:00:04Z")
Humph, **Swampy** I’ll eat those stale doughnuts 'cause I _like_ bagels. So there. **dwyr** have you tried quinoa, because the last time I invaded a health food type store I bought some of that and it wasn’t so good. I think I broke it. There’s also some red colored rice that I bought in the asian food warehouse but I don’t read whatever language is printed on the package and none of the pictures in any way resembles rice of any color. That may be beyond your grain-abilities because you’re only a human bean. I almost made a joke there. Of course you’re adored **Kallessa**! You’re funny and smart and have impeccable taste in snack foods and spelling and kiddy lit. Just be careful doing the **Bumba** birthday dance nekkid, we wouldn’t want your bounty reduced by a snappish turtle! I never watched much Captain Kangaroo as a kid. His bangs scared me. ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pushing-a-door-open-is-for-saps/248049/95 "2004-06-03T03:03:45Z")
His _bangs_ scared you?!! Oh darlin’ I _had_ his bangs! Basically, I had a Captain Kangaroo haircut. Except mine curled. I have naturally curly hair, you know. ---
**Author:** ![dwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwyr/32/363_2.png) [@dwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwyr)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pushing-a-door-open-is-for-saps/248049/96 "2004-06-03T03:31:58Z")
> [@Ashes](#): > > Humph, **Swampy** I’ll eat those stale doughnuts 'cause I _like_ bagels. So there. > > **dwyr** have you tried quinoa, because the last time I invaded a health food type store I bought some of that and it wasn’t so good. I think I broke it. There’s also some red colored rice that I bought in the asian food warehouse but I don’t read whatever language is printed on the package and none of the pictures in any way resembles rice of any color. That may be beyond your grain-abilities because you’re only a human bean. I almost made a joke there. … Oh, yes, I love quinoa. I’ve got the regular and the black varieties. What trips -insert joke here- most people up with quinoa is that they don’t wash it well enough. The grains are covered with saponin (soap really) and it’s very bitter if you don’t get it all off. I make a nice spanish rice dish with rice, quinoa, and millet mixed together. Very tasty. And nutritious. Unlike Krispy Kreme doughnuts, especially the chocolate frosted ones which I adore. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pushing-a-door-open-is-for-saps/248049/97 "2004-06-03T05:23:18Z")
I don’t know if I’ll get a chance to post again this week so I thought I’d sneak in here after hours and thank **Ashes[sup]2[/sup]** and **Kallessa** for the nekkie dances. 😃 They were delightful. It did my heart good. In fact it did wonders for my entire circulatory system. Bumbazine - circulatin’ ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pushing-a-door-open-is-for-saps/248049/98 "2004-06-03T05:50:11Z")
\*The Case of the Sensational Scent The Case of the Cosmic Comic The Doughnuts Mystery Yarn Nothing New Under the Sun (Hardly) Wheels of Progress\* These are the stories in the first part (_Homer Price_) of my book _The Complete Adventures of Homer Price_. And I read them all tonight. Tomorrow, I am going to read the second part (_Centerburg Tales_). It has all the Grampa Hercules stories, and the one where a tree grows right through the roof of the greenhouse. They’re real knee-slappers, they are. Those of you too young to remember Homer (these stories went out of fashion at some point) may still be familar with the author’s work. He has two “classics” that I believe ae still socially acceptable: _Blueberries for Sal_ and _Make Room for Ducklings_. His name, as other have mentioned, is Robert McCloskey and if you have young ones, you ought to get all his book and make them fashionable again. **swampy** , I’m willing to do a long distance book exchange, but any book you send me can’t shock my neighbors or frighten the horses. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pushing-a-door-open-is-for-saps/248049/99 "2004-06-03T11:57:25Z")
Remember this? > [@Wintermute](#): > > So, **Rue** , which is it? Do you have a large number of animals or just one really, really big one? I do. It’s one really, really big one. Man, you should see the size of my fauna. It’d take your breath away! And Happy Birthday **Bumba**. Even if it’s a day late and you won’t be around to see it, I’m still wishing happy at you to extend your Birthday Celebration. I don’t have naturally curly hair. What I have is more what’s refered to as “straight”. I’ve had hair-cutting people comment on it. “You have very staright hair,” they tell my. Like I’ve never looked in a mirror, so that was a big surprise. One hair-cutter told me I “didn’t have one jot of curl” which was a surprise. I always thought curl came in sheets, not jots. ---
**Author:** ![Wintermute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@Wintermute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wintermute)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2004, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pushing-a-door-open-is-for-saps/248049/100 "2004-06-03T13:11:26Z")
> [@Rue DeDay](#): > > It’s one really, really big one. Man, you should see the size of my fauna. It’d take your breath away! I’d heard that about you. 😉 I watched Captain Kangaroo as a kid, but I’m not sure I remember those books. I was pretty much only interested in books with horses in them, so if they didn’t have horses, I may not have payed much attention. FWIW, good horse stories are much harder to come by once you’re past the age of, oh, 12. ☹ Oh, and I don’t like Krispy Kremes, either. Donuts are not really my favorite pastry. So there! And one last thing, in case he does make it back in here: _Happy Birthday, **Bumba**!!!_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pushing-a-door-open-is-for-saps/248049.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pushing-a-door-open-is-for-saps/248049.md?page=6)