# Put a salary on this job **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 27, 2007, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618 "2007-09-27T00:20:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/1 "2007-09-27T00:20:57Z")
Please pretend you are answering this ad and tell me what you would ask in terms of salary. Also tell me what else you’d want to know about the position. > [@](#): > > **Oscar Entrepreneur Needs Felix Assistant** > > Female multiple business owner needs a top flight assistant to function as right arm, left hand and backup brain. > > The following is a description of the absolute musts for the job: any deficiency in these areas immediately disqualifies you as a candidate, absolutely no exceptions (in other words, please do not bother applying, it will be a waste of your time and mine). > > Excellent Mac skills, including Office programs, email, internet, etc. > Excellent written and verbal communication skills, no strong accents of any kind. > Excellent phone manner. > Absolute discretion. > Comfort with material of an adult nature. > > Things which are bonuses, and make you a much more desirable candidate than the next person: > > Ease with Eudora and Excel. > Good knowledge of Adobe Bridge or Extensis Portfolio or both. > Sales or PR background > > I own several businesses, including one in the adult industry. I have many irons in the fire, and many irons I want to put in the fire. My problem is that there are only so many hours in the day, I have only so much energy, and worst of all, I have ADD. I have many deficiencies and many strengths. I’m looking for someone who can match some of my strengths and shore up my deficiencies I need someone whois self-directed, a creative thinker, efficient, with a great memory and organizational skills. Someone who learns very readily, isn’t afraid to be wrong or ask questions, and likes to manage things. You can’t need to have your hand held at every turn, because I’m hiring you in part to hold MY hand and help keep me on track. I tend to create chaos- your job is to tame that chaose, bring order to my life, and keep me moving forward. I will be depending on you to make sure I don’t mess up. > > Some days the job will be long, some days there may be almost nothing to do, especially after we’ve been working together for awhile and things are more under control. On those days you won’t be required to be here at all. Many things I am perfectly happy to have you do from home, so long as they get done. I don’t care so much about hours as I do about getting the work done and bringing some kind of peace to the madness. > > Your work will include the entire spectrum, from helping design PR campaigns and new ancillary products to running to the pet food store. > > I am a very easygoing person, more so the more I know I CAN be because I can trust you to get things done. (You will be working out of my home, so no smokers, but the dress code is: there is no dress code.) I am very rigid about a couple of things, and honesty is at the very top of the list. If you apply for the job (I will be seeking multiple references, by the way) and I discover the tiniest fib anywhere, my consideration of you ends instantly, and that will apply to the job itself as well. A single lie, large or small, for any reason, and your employment wil be over. I can handle almost anything except lying. > The goal is to have you take on quite a bit of responsibility, and depending on how the businesses thrive and to what degree you contribute to that success, you can grow into a larger role, perhaps even a partnership with me. > > I know that someone who can REALLY do and be what I want will not be cheap. If they are cheap, they can’t do what I want. > > You will have a set salary without regard for hours worked, and you will have full medical benefits. > > What that salary will be is an open question.. This is NOT about punching a clock, doing some rote tasks, and going home. This is about getting pretty heavily enmeshed in someone else’s life and business. > > So you tell me what you think the job is worth for you to do it. I’m looking for a pretty serious commitment, because training someone to be my second brain is time consuming: I’m not looking for someone to do this while they look for something else. I want someone who wants this job and is ready to stick with it for a good while (assuming it works well on both ends, of course.) > > So send me your resume, an email explaining exactly how you see yourself doing this job and what your past experience is that makes you the perfect candidate, and the minimum you would accept to wholeheartedly and cheerfully sign on to be my keeper. ---
**Author:** ![Zambini57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/4491bb/32.png) [@Zambini57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zambini57)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/2 "2007-09-27T00:29:22Z")
So basically you’re looking for a vice president, in which case I would want three-fourths of your salary plus bonuses. ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/3 "2007-09-27T00:33:51Z")
I am DYING to know how much the writer of this advertisement expects to have to pay… Joe ---
**Author:** ![TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/51bf81/32.png) [@TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/4 "2007-09-27T00:34:06Z")
Starting salary of 75 to 100K. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/5 "2007-09-27T00:35:58Z")
$60-70k. ---
**Author:** ![Jurph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jurph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurph)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/6 "2007-09-27T00:41:40Z")
This candidate is going to be tightly integrated into the business; he or she will need to have a real interest in it, which in my mind means profit-sharing. If you really expect his or her performance to be crucial to getting the businesses up to speed, they’ll need to be compensated if and when the businesses take off. Stock options and/or profit-sharing on top of a low six figure salary (I’d ask for $150k and two weeks’ paid leave) would be reasonable. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/7 "2007-09-27T00:41:43Z")
It is going to be REALLY difficult to find someone even with just your primary qualifications. Most people don’t even know how to use a Mac for instance because they only have about 5% market share. I wouldn’t even list that as a primary qualification. Anyone with great general PC skills should be able to learn it in a day or two (they are built to be easy to learn). If you manage to find someone, I think that somewhere in the 75 - 80K range might be suitable for the right person. ---
**Author:** ![Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e56c9b/32.png) [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harriet_the_Spry)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/8 "2007-09-27T00:51:50Z")
For me, there’s not enough money in the world. I don’t know if there is even enough information in the ad to size the job. What is the scope of “PR campaigns”? What is “running the pet food store”? This person is so scattered, she doesn’t have a concept of how to parcel things out to people with the relevant expertise. I think the job title is probably Scapegoat. If you’re really interested in this, I would ask about 10% above what you’re making now/ most you’ve ever earned in a year, and focus on the job scope: what would you actually be willing and able to do for her? This would be the first of many times you would tell her what she needs to hear, not what she asked you. A key question is why the last person who tried to do this for her left/ was fired. Or maybe the last several persons. If she wants detailed references, you should get the same. In the (IMHO unlikely) event this would be her first attempt at hiring an assistant, talk to people who do business with her, employees of her businesses, former employees of her businesses… Also, I’d try to negotiate some severance so there is some skin in the game for her if she fires you. I’m not sure how you would contract for this, but seems like a good idea. Negotiating severance on the way in is common for executive positions. ETA: If you’re placing the ad, sorry I harshed on you. But now you know how I’d advise an applicant. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/9 "2007-09-27T01:18:10Z")
It’s going to be my ad, this is just a rough first draft and the job isn’t going to be happening for a couple of months. I’ve only had one other person in the position, my sister. She has a debilitating chronic illness which has made it impossible for her to do the job, and made it kinda impossible while she was in it. I’m hoping I can get someone to start out for $1000 - 1200 a week. If this person is any good at all, it won’t be long before there will be a lot of downtime, and plenty of telecommuting, which has a great deal of value: it certainly would for me, I cannot abide having to put in X hours a day whether there’s anything that needs doing or not, I think that’s ridiculous and I never expect of someone working for me. Also the medical. I WANT someone who wants to have a piece of it, because that really is the only guaranteed way for someone to really care, and I am not at all greedy. I love to share, I especially love to share when I know that I’m sharing what I wouldn’t have in the first place if not for the efforts of the person I’m sharing it with. But in order to get the money flowing, I need help. I’m not going to be able to pay serious bucks if I can’t MAKE serious bucks, ya kow? ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/10 "2007-09-27T01:19:43Z")
By the way, it’s “running TO the pet food store”. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/11 "2007-09-27T01:27:48Z")
[QUOTE=Stoid] By the way, it’s “running TO the pet food store”. [/QUOTE] You need an asst. to check shit like that. And, BTW, I didn’t realize this would be in LA – add $20K to my original figures. ---
**Author:** ![KSO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@KSO](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KSO)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/12 "2007-09-27T01:40:30Z")
At least $150,000, with bonuses pegged to financial performance. ---
**Author:** ![threnodyangelfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@threnodyangelfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threnodyangelfire)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/13 "2007-09-27T01:41:48Z")
To be honest - this reads to me as almost the job like Elaine Bennis had on Seinfeld - great in theory, with promises of really cool and interesting work, but in reality she gets to run all over the city trying to find the exact pair of socks he needed or whatever. The job could be really cool, but you’ve got to sell it to them - especially if you are wanting someone from a PR/Sales/Marketing background - as much as they have to sell themselves to you. And to that end, it leaves a big ? over what the position is worth. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/14 "2007-09-27T01:47:08Z")
To be honest, reading between the lines, the job sounds horrible. Not knowing you, I might read this ad and think my boss will be erratic with unclear parameters for the job (I’m not saying that is true, just that is the impression I got). You might consider shortening it and taking out some of the personal information about yourself. I would focus on finding people with the skill sets you need and then talking about the other points in the interviews. Also, I think this job, in LA is at least $100k. ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/15 "2007-09-27T01:51:05Z")
I don’t think I’d take that job for less than $85,000 and a written guarantee of profit-sharing for anything I had a part in. ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/16 "2007-09-27T01:54:34Z")
Frankly, I would take out “no strong accents of any kind”, which seems like code for “foreigners need not apply”. It would make me very nervous. Replace with “clear speaking voice” or something like that. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/17 "2007-09-27T02:32:09Z")
I am somewhat your target employee (I’ve worked in a wide spectrum of office jobs for 11 years now - I am extremely competent at all of it, with most of the qualifications you’ve specified in both hard and soft skills), and I wouldn’t touch your job for all the money in the world. What a massive pain in the ass a job like that would be. Babysitting an adult with ADD for an unspecified amount of hours, with no set duties except doing everything you can think of for me to do (and let’s face it, all the unpleasant stuff YOU don’t want to do), for a set amount of pay? No way, josee. And to be completely frank, you sound like a terrible boss, too. You’ll have to get someone who is a perfect fit with your personality, because otherwise, you’re gonna end up stabbed. But keep your ad exactly the way it is, so your employees know what kind of hell they are in for. ---
**Author:** ![Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e56c9b/32.png) [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harriet_the_Spry)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/18 "2007-09-27T02:48:00Z")
Oh, you are the one hiring…as I remove my mouth from my foot. My advice to you would be to find a qualified therapist to help you manage your ADD, even if this means multiple appointments per week. Also, ask this therapist to help you be a good manager to a more standard assistant. Sane, competent, decent people do not want a job where, if you realize you need something from the pet food store at 11pm some random night, they need to go get it for you (insert crisis du jour here). People who think they can con you might be willing to give it a try. Maybe you’ll see through their lies in time and maybe you won’t. The ad screams “boundary issues” to me, and you will attract people who don’t understand boundaries. This can easily extend to not understanding the boundary between your money/stuff/credit and theirs. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/19 "2007-09-27T03:04:31Z")
I think you need to be more explicit [no pun intended] about the more-sensitive aspects of this position. Try to see it from a [typically female] administrative assistant’s P.O.V. – you’re going to some guy [right?]'s home, where the business involves at least some X-rated material… it just sounds like a recipie for trouble. Are there any other employees around? Have you been in this business for long? Another pitfall is running personal errands. How large a part of the job is this, honestly? Can you eliminate this from the job entirely? (See above for why mixing of the personal with the strictly-business is even more important for this job than for most others.) If errands and company driving is a significant aspect of the job, then consider leasing a vehicle for business, or at minimum being very generous with mileage allowances – either way, detail that in the ad, provided you can’t strike the errands entirely. Lastly, you need to clarify what exactly constitutes the realistic commitment level you require – an average of 40-50 hours/wk.? 60+? Over only five days, or often six, or seven? Would the employee be expected to be “on call” at short notice for one or both days of her weekends, and be expected to scotch her social plans accordingly? How elastic or inelastic are you WRT the maximum length of any given working day? Many employees would be willing to put in long hours for you, but nevertheless must draw a line at a certain hour because of family commitments. Given your level of natural disorganization, can the employee be expected to have very long days (or weekend hours) sprung on her without advance notice? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/20 "2007-09-27T03:06:26Z")
**Stoid** is a girl. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618.md?page=2)