# Put a salary on this job **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 27, 2007, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618 "2007-09-27T00:20:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2007, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/121 "2007-10-01T02:48:05Z")
FTR, **Tokyo** , I thought we had a Doper named Stout? I just assumed you confused the two. But then I also got distracted imagining stouts. You know, Guiness, ESB, etc. Mmmmmmmm stouts… ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2007, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/122 "2007-10-01T03:23:01Z")
I used to love drinking stouts. Sure as hell gives you a better buzz than green tea, my drink of choice now. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2007, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/123 "2007-10-01T05:01:18Z")
[QUOTE=TokyoPlayer] :smack: Ah, shit. At the risk of sounding like a whinny brat that blames everything on his childhood; my elementary school went through a phase (early 70s) where we all taught ourselves a lot of the subjects through workbooks. The idea was that kids would learn better if they worked at their own pace. My pace involved only doing what I wanted and spelling didn’t make the short list. Worse, because my spelling was so bad, I had to make my handwriting even worse so that teachers couldn’t read the spelling mistakes. You guys wouldn’t believe how hard I have to work at writing. [/QUOTE] Don’t feel bad buddy. I grew up in the 50s/60s and have the same problem. My mother had been a high school English teacher, and it was like living with an unabridged dictionary. Hell I had spell check in 1955, I called her mommy. My daughter is almost as good. Me? The spelling gene skipped a generation. If I can get it close enough for spell check to find it, I consider it a victory. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2007, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/124 "2007-10-01T06:13:06Z")
[QUOTE=Rick] If I can get it close enough for spell check to find it, I consider it a victory. [/QUOTE] It probably doesn’t help that I mispronounced a lot of words growing up. (Did you know that there was a “t” at the end of “acrosst” or that lemon and limb has share the same vowel sound?) My sister always jokes that it’s a wonder I learned Japanese when I can’t speak English. I used to find it faster to look up the corresponding word in a Japanese-English dictionary and get the English word from there, rather than search in an English dictionary. The second fastest was looking up a synonym in a thesaurus and going from there. Between spell checkers and Google’s suggestions for words, I can get by much easier these days. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2007, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/125 "2007-10-01T06:38:55Z")
[QUOTE=TokyoPlayer] I used to love drinking stouts. Sure as hell gives you a better buzz than green tea, my drink of choice now. [/QUOTE] A stout is also good for you. Taken in moderation, of course! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2007, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/126 "2007-10-01T07:29:47Z")
[Unfortunately not](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=436061). ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2007, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/127 "2007-10-03T04:06:43Z")
[QUOTE=Stoid] You have, as they say, struck the nail on the head precisely and driven it all the way in with one blow. Not to mention that Tokyo had this to say to me 3 days ago in response to my remark about how fortunate I have been, in spite of my obesity and age, to have young, slim lovers: He opened from an attack position in the other thread, he opened from an attack position in this one. Were that not the case, I would have readily assumed it was an error. As it is…not likely. Not at all, in fact I generally let things slide off my back. I let this one slide to the degree that I didn’t get upset about it, but I’m not going to pretend it was something else, either. [/QUOTE] If this post is any indication of how you take things in life, I wouldn’t consider you the ideal boss in a million years. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2007, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/128 "2007-10-06T20:34:54Z")
I wouldn’t do that job for a penny less than $150,000 a year, and in L.A. I’d need a quarter of a million. Doing a job that amounts to making up for a boss’s _personal_ deficiencies never turns out well. Getting “enmeshed in someone’s personal business” is not what employees are supposed to do and will unquestionably result in ongoing, endless conflict and misunderstanding over what the role actually is. My wife’s CEO sounds exactly like the person who wrote that ad and you’d be insane to work for him at any price. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2007, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/129 "2007-10-06T21:45:31Z")
[QUOTE=RickJay] I wouldn’t do that job for a penny less than $150,000 a year, and in L.A. I’d need a quarter of a million. Doing a job that amounts to making up for a boss’s _personal_ deficiencies never turns out well. Getting “enmeshed in someone’s personal business” is not what employees are supposed to do and will unquestionably result in ongoing, endless conflict and misunderstanding over what the role actually is. My wife’s CEO sounds exactly like the person who wrote that ad and you’d be insane to work for him at any price. [/QUOTE] Well, your price is a quarter mil. Seems reasonable – and is exactly the price I quoted in post #79. If you can stick it out for a while, you have a nice financial cushion to bail out onto. I might consider it for less if I didn’t have to give up a good job, sell my house and relocate, etc., to take it. I would consider this a high-risk job, because the OP might take sudden offense at some small thing and fire my ass. So I would insist on one more thing – a minimum 2 year contract, that would guarantee that pay rate unless I did some form of fraud or malfeasance that is proven in court. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2007, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/130 "2007-10-06T22:54:49Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] Well, your price is a quarter mil. Seems reasonable – and is exactly the price I quoted in post #79. If you can stick it out for a while, you have a nice financial cushion to bail out onto. [/QUOTE] I deliberately wrote my post without reading the rest of the thread. Now I know $250,000 wouldn’t be enough. “Laid back,” my ass. It’d be hell. I’d want a five-year guaranteed deal, with a buyout of 50% of remaining contract owed, moving expenses paid for and six weeks of vacation a year. ---
**Author:** ![jimmmy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/73ab20/32.png) [@jimmmy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimmmy)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2007, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/131 "2007-10-07T13:02:41Z")
I would advertise it as a PA or maybe an Executive Assistant. On the Interview process I would deal with how the job differs from these - “Well it is a bit different than the traditional PA/ExecSec job”. I would be clear that the salary is negotiable but that you were looking to pay in the mid-50’s. I would make sure that I could document to outsiders that not having a “strong accent of any kind” is a requirement of this job. (which I THINK I know what you mean but is a nonsensical requirement - you , me, Bush and QE2 all have accents, as has been suggested “clear speaking voice”,“fluent in English”, are phrases you might consider. You may just want to bag this line altogether, unless you have some reason to think this is a particularly attractive job to the heavily accented, and screen for this on the interview) ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2007, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/132 "2007-10-07T13:07:25Z")
I revert back to my post that nothing in the ad should be changed. Caveat emptor. ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2007, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/133 "2007-10-07T16:14:50Z")
1. **Justin\_Bailey** , she posted about her website somewhere, sometime (probably in an archived thread) because I did know. 2. **Stoid** , the number 1 thing I thought was missing was a listing of the businesses with which the person would be involved. I didn’t find it as horrible as many people here have, but I think it could do with some editing since, as I think is clear, it didn’t come across the way you meant it to. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2007, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/134 "2007-10-07T18:13:23Z")
[QUOTE=Helen’s Eidolon] 1. **Justin\_Bailey** , she posted about her website somewhere, sometime (probably in an archived thread) because I did know. [/QUOTE] If you had read the whole thread you would have noticed that the last time she mentioned her job was nearly three years ago. It also isn’t relevant because this thread is specifically about what we think of her job posting. And I said her posting wasn’t clear on what kind of business she runs. I still don’t understand what her posting history has to do with that criticism as it’s the only response **Stoid** seems to give to my criticism. ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2007, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/135 "2007-10-07T18:25:50Z")
All I was saying is that she was correct in assuming that many of the people who have been here for longer than three years know what she was talking about. I agree with you about it being unclear in the ad, as I mentioned above. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2007, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/136 "2007-10-07T20:33:41Z")
Well I knew about your website, **Stoid** , only because someone mentioned it to me when the Mods here were giving me a hard time about mine. Honestly though, I think you are a little more known around here for being a bit touchy, as opposed to being laid back or the owner of retroraunch. 😉 Anyway, **Jodi** gave good advice, but the most important thing is to break up the job responsibilities. Maybe your sister was willing to do it but any stranger with an ounce of self esteem is not going to run your PR campaign then go fetch kibble for you. Would YOU take a job like that? ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2007, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/137 "2007-10-07T22:17:25Z")
[QUOTE=Stoid] Please pretend you are answering this ad and tell me what you would ask in terms of salary. Also tell me what else you’d want to know about the position. [/QUOTE] Right off the bat I want to rewrite your ad. > [@me](#): > > SIDEKICK NEEDED > > Full-time, benefits, flex hours, for key position in small business. Must be super-organized with great computer and communication skills. Bonuses: Sales or PR background, expertise in Excel and Eudora, knowledge of Adobe Bridge or Extensis Portfolio. Salary based on experience. For more information call 1-800-STOID with salary requirements. Make 1-800-STOID a voice-mail only number and listen to the messages. This is where you rule out anyone who doesn’t speak well or who has an accent you don’t like, or who is clueless and didn’t give their name and call-back number. For the ones who pass, you call them back and do another mini-screening where you explain a little more about your business and then, if they pass, ask them to send a resume (maybe this is where you ask for salary requirements). Most of the stuff in your so-called ad is stuff that could be covered in the interview. If at all. “Oscar needs Felix” is cute but frankly, who thinks of themselves as Felix? And who wants to work out of a home inhabited by Oscar? Based on that ad I would feel like I was handing over my entire life, and I would charge a lot for that. More than you can afford, I’m pretty sure. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2007, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/138 "2007-10-07T23:50:15Z")
[QUOTE=CarnalK] Well I knew about your website, **Stoid** , only because someone mentioned it to me when the Mods here were giving me a hard time about mine. Honestly though, I think you are a little more known around here for being a bit touchy, as opposed to being laid back or the owner of retroraunch. 😉 [/QUOTE] Actually, I’m known for pissing people off, especially touchy people. The whole touchiness thing being assigned to me is a twilight zone development in this particular thread that remains a puzzle. Hilarity: Excellent ad. As I believe I mentioned somewhere along the way, the original in the OP was straight outta my head to paper, it was never gonna be the actual ad. it was more about: this is what the real situation is, what is it worth? Good idea about the voicemail, too. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2007, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/139 "2007-10-08T10:50:13Z")
[QUOTE=Stoid] Actually, I’m known for pissing people off, especially touchy people. The whole touchiness thing being assigned to me is a twilight zone development in this particular thread that remains a puzzle. [/QUOTE] No offense, **Stoid** , but you seem to be the touchy one here. Reading insults where none were intended, claiming that a single “little lie” is enough to fire someone? That’s not “easy going”, or “non-touchy”. And if people are constantly misunderstanding you, perhaps it’s not then. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2007, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618/140 "2007-10-08T11:51:44Z")
Oh, my gods. This is too hilarious, I can’t believe I missed this thread before! I totally thought the punchline was, “Nah, this is just how a personal ad seeking a husband would look if bitches just told the truth!” :eek: 😃 Seriously! Check it out: > [@](#): > > Oscar Entrepreneur Needs Felix Assistant > > Female multiple business owner needs a top flight assistant to function as right arm, left hand and backup brain. Uh-huh. > [@](#): > > Absolute discretion. > Comfort with material of an adult nature. > [@](#): > > I own several businesses, including one in the adult industry. I have many irons in the fire, and many irons I want to put in the fire. My problem is that there are only so many hours in the day, I have only so much energy, and worst of all, I have ADD. I have many deficiencies and many strengths. I’m looking for someone who can match some of my strengths and shore up my deficiencies I need someone whois self-directed, a creative thinker, efficient, with a great memory and organizational skills. Someone who learns very readily, isn’t afraid to be wrong or ask questions, and likes to manage things. You can’t need to have your hand held at every turn, because I’m hiring you in part to hold MY hand and help keep me on track. I tend to create chaos- your job is to tame that chaose, bring order to my life, and keep me moving forward. I will be depending on you to make sure I don’t mess up. Riiiiiiight. > [@](#): > > Some days the job will be long, some days there may be almost nothing to do, especially after we’ve been working together for awhile and things are more under control. On those days you won’t be required to be here at all. Many things I am perfectly happy to have you do from home, so long as they get done. I don’t care so much about hours as I do about getting the work done and bringing some kind of peace to the madness. > > Your work will include the entire spectrum, from helping design PR campaigns and new ancillary products to running to the pet food store. A marriage-material mutlitasker, if you will. > [@](#): > > I am a very easygoing person, more so the more I know I CAN be because I can trust you to get things done. (You will be working out of my home, so no smokers, but the dress code is: there is no dress code.) Sit around nekkid reading the newspaper, why doncha? > [@](#): > > I am very rigid about a couple of things, and honesty is at the very top of the list. If you apply for the job (I will be seeking multiple references, by the way) and I discover the tiniest fib anywhere, my consideration of you ends instantly, and that will apply to the job itself as well. A single lie, large or small, for any reason, and your employment wil be over. I can handle almost anything except lying. I get it, she’s been burned by lying exes… I mean, it just all works… > [@](#): > > What that salary will be is an open question.. This is NOT about punching a clock, doing some rote tasks, and going home. This is about getting pretty heavily enmeshed in someone else’s life and business. > [@](#): > > So you tell me what you think the job is worth for you to do it. I’m looking for a pretty serious commitment, because training someone to be my second brain is time consuming: I’m not looking for someone to do this while they look for something else. I want someone who wants this job and is ready to stick with it for a good while (assuming it works well on both ends, of course.) See? Marriage! > [@](#): > > … and the minimum you would accept to wholeheartedly and cheerfully sign on to be my keeper. Keeper? Is that some new BSDM code? 😃 **Stoid** , you’re not looking for an employee, you’re looking for a husband. Those cost a lot more than money. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-a-salary-on-this-job/420618.md?page=8)