# Put together the ultimate TV law enforcement team! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 19, 2005, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-together-the-ultimate-tv-law-enforcement-team/313087 "2005-07-19T02:06:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-together-the-ultimate-tv-law-enforcement-team/313087/1 "2005-07-19T02:06:00Z")
Use characters from any era, any show. Assume major crimes are the focus. You’ll need: **Investigating police** (up to two) **Police superior officer** **Crime scene investigators** (up to three, plus one coroner) **District attorney** **Prosecuting attornies** (up to two) Have at it! ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-together-the-ultimate-tv-law-enforcement-team/313087/2 "2005-07-19T03:10:55Z")
For cops, I’ll take Columbo and MAgnum P.I. I know Thomas Magnum isn’t a cop but he could be and he’s got a fine car. Columbo will ask one more question. For superior officer I gotta have Barney Miller for comedy. My CSIs are, of course, Gil Grissom, King of All CSIs, and Gary Sinese’s character, because I like Gary. My medical examiner? Quincy. Duh. My DA team’s Jack McCoy and some hot chick. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-together-the-ultimate-tv-law-enforcement-team/313087/3 "2005-07-19T03:22:40Z")
No Batman? ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-together-the-ultimate-tv-law-enforcement-team/313087/4 "2005-07-19T03:44:42Z")
Batman and Jack Bauer can take care of everything. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-together-the-ultimate-tv-law-enforcement-team/313087/5 "2005-07-19T04:05:56Z")
Get whoever you want, because I’ll just hire Perry Mason to kick all y’all’s asses! ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-together-the-ultimate-tv-law-enforcement-team/313087/6 "2005-07-19T04:12:36Z")
I select Sledge Hammer for one of the investigators, because he has a loudener on his gun. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-together-the-ultimate-tv-law-enforcement-team/313087/7 "2005-07-19T04:13:53Z")
Okay, fine. I’ll play within the rules. **Investigating police** (up to two): Don’t need two of them. Just need Columbo. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-together-the-ultimate-tv-law-enforcement-team/313087/8 "2005-07-19T04:24:17Z")
As a CSI I’d like Nick Knight. He has, shall we say, some special abilities. His only problem is his “condition”, that keeps him from working in sunlight. ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-together-the-ultimate-tv-law-enforcement-team/313087/9 "2005-07-19T04:27:13Z")
Jeremy Brett’s Sherlock Holmes can do the work of an investigating officer and a CSI. Throw in Adrian Monk, and those smug nerds of CSI can go back to the desert where they belong. I’d have Frank Pembleton on hand to handle the interrogation, and as supervisor, Capt. Cragen, so he could yell down the phone and say “bupkis” a lot. ---
**Author:** ![ColonelDax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@ColonelDax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ColonelDax)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2005, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-together-the-ultimate-tv-law-enforcement-team/313087/10 "2005-07-19T11:50:35Z")
Gotta have Lt. Norman Buntz from \*Hill Street Blues \* as one of the investigating police. ---
**Author:** ![ltfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@ltfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ltfire)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-together-the-ultimate-tv-law-enforcement-team/313087/11 "2005-07-20T00:19:39Z")
> [@ColonelDax](#): > > Gotta have Lt. Norman Buntz from \*Hill Street Blues \* as one of the investigating police. And, Andy Sipowitz for the interogations. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-together-the-ultimate-tv-law-enforcement-team/313087/12 "2005-07-20T00:46:01Z")
Mike Stone (_Streets of San Francisco_) and Columbo would make good partners, and I’ve got a soft spot for both growing up. Lt. Castillo from _Miami Vice_ as the superior officer. Ben Stone & Claire Kincaid from _L&O_ and David Abrams from _Crime Story_ Monk’s the only CSI you need. Quincy as coroner, natch. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-together-the-ultimate-tv-law-enforcement-team/313087/13 "2005-07-20T02:55:02Z")
OK, I’ll try to fill out the entire roster. Investigating police – Columbo and Joe Friday Superior officer – Hard to go wrong with Barney Miller, but Frank Furillo is also a good choice. CSI – Monk and Sherlock Holmes would be obvious choices, but I’m going to pick Emma Peel. So what if she isn’t the best investigator. I want Emma Peel on my team. Prosecuting attorney – I’ll take any prosecutor that could still make a case after the rogue cop who played by his own rules finished working over snitches, bribing witnesses, planting evidence, beating confessions out of suspects and generally riding roughshod over police procedure and constitutional protections. ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-together-the-ultimate-tv-law-enforcement-team/313087/14 "2005-07-20T04:25:19Z")
No T.J. Hooker?? ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-together-the-ultimate-tv-law-enforcement-team/313087/15 "2005-07-20T09:35:02Z")
**Investigating police** Bayliss and Pembleton from Homicide **Crime scene investigators** (up to three, plus one coroner) Data with his Sherlock Holmes pipe and hat Haven’t watched enough police/detective shows to have a wide enough range to answer the others. But the above three would be the uber-team I would think. Data would be the god of forensics and deduction, while the Homicide crew would be able to spot a liar and make him talk. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-together-the-ultimate-tv-law-enforcement-team/313087/16 "2005-07-20T11:54:12Z")
Any such force not including Dirty Harry would be less than optimally effective. With Dirty Harry included, you could send half of them home … or to the morgue. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-together-the-ultimate-tv-law-enforcement-team/313087/17 "2005-07-20T11:57:49Z")
…and if any chase work should become necessary, it would be wise to have Frank Bullitt and Popeye Doyle on hand. My cousin Vinny could serve as legal affairs man, seconded by Denny Crane (_Boston Legal_). ---
**Author:** ![Menocchio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Menocchio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Menocchio)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-together-the-ultimate-tv-law-enforcement-team/313087/18 "2005-07-20T12:07:50Z")
Cops: “Dirty” Harry Callahan and Colombo. A well-balanced team. Officer: Commissioner James Gordon CSI: Gil Grissom, Abby Sciuto Coroner: Jordan Cavanaugh Prosecuting Attorneys: Jack McCoy and Claire Kincaid (because you just can’t get enough Jill Hennessy) DA: Adam Schiff (why break up a winning team?) ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-together-the-ultimate-tv-law-enforcement-team/313087/19 "2005-07-20T20:10:35Z")
I’ll pick Sledge Hammer as my one and only choice. There aren’t a lot of crime problems that can’t be solved by judicious use of a rocket launcher. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2005, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-together-the-ultimate-tv-law-enforcement-team/313087/20 "2005-07-20T20:19:28Z")
I have to agree that Emma Peel should be on the team. In addition, I’d like to add Wonder Woman, the She Spies and all of Charlie’s Angels. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/put-together-the-ultimate-tv-law-enforcement-team/313087.md?page=2)