# Putcher Hated Holiday Songs Here **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 17, 2004, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putcher-hated-holiday-songs-here/280418 "2004-12-17T21:18:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putcher-hated-holiday-songs-here/280418/21 "2004-12-18T06:45:47Z")
“Silent Night”. I can’t _stand_ that boring piece of shiite. “12 days” also makes my flesh crawl. However, Christmas is the only time that you’ll hear Bach played at Target (usually “Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring”) so it ain’t _all_ that bad. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putcher-hated-holiday-songs-here/280418/22 "2004-12-18T06:48:29Z")
Was thinking about the **Beach Boys Merry Christmas, Baby** the other night. What a pathetic tune. You were being the playa, she told you stuff your ring, but now you’re all weepy because you want some Christmas tail. Let’s hope Santa brings you a set-you need them. :rolleyes: Sorry **MLS** but I _like_ I want a hippopotamus for Christmas. 😉 d & r ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putcher-hated-holiday-songs-here/280418/23 "2004-12-18T07:01:04Z")
I have a special kind of hate for the song “Oh, Tannenbaum”. For the past 19 years, every Christmas, I get reminded of my fathers slow agonizing death. _No, he wasn’t impaled by a Christmas tree. Tannenbaum, is the last name of the person who killed him._ Also: “Deck The Halls” “Glo-oh-oh-oh-oh ohh-oh-oh-oh-oh ohh-oh-oh-oh-oh oria!!!” "Good King _Whatshisface"_ ---
**Author:** ![JayElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/4bbf92/32.png) [@JayElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JayElle)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putcher-hated-holiday-songs-here/280418/24 "2004-12-18T17:08:22Z")
> [@Harimad-sol](#): > > I heard a version of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” tonight, sung by Rod Stewart and Dolly Parton. I have a policy of not throwing up in people’s cars if I can help it, so I did not display my natural reaction. I hate that song, and that combination didn’t help. The two of them singing together gives me the major heebie-jeebies. For some reason, their version sounds so pervy. That **Christmas Shoes** song makes me want to kill. I find myself backtalking to the radio. “If Momma’s dying then she won’t \*need \* those stupid shoes!” “Who the hell sends a little kid to the store by himself to buy a pair of shoes when his mother is dying!” “What kind of creepy kid is cheerful about his mother dying?!” I’m not allowed to listen to that song anymore. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putcher-hated-holiday-songs-here/280418/25 "2004-12-18T21:11:08Z")
AFAIK, I’ve never heard the _Christmas Shoes_ song. Apparently this is a blessing. And I’ve never considered _Baby It’s Cold Outside_ to be a Christmas song – it comes from the Esther Williams flick **Neptune’s Daughter** , which was the inaugural pick in the SDMB Musical Lovers’ Salon and Debating Society. I was, in fact, the one to pick it. 😃 Esther Williams – Ricardo Montalban – Red Skelton – Betty Garrett. Think chaste '50s seduction, not Christmas. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2004, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putcher-hated-holiday-songs-here/280418/26 "2004-12-18T23:12:54Z")
Ah, _c’mon_ people. The worst stick-in-your-head awful Christmas tune that makes you either reach for the razor blade or the sniper rifle is **Feliz Navidad**. ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putcher-hated-holiday-songs-here/280418/27 "2004-12-19T00:54:35Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > AFAIK, I’ve never heard the _Christmas Shoes_ song. Apparently this is a blessing. > > And I’ve never considered _Baby It’s Cold Outside_ to be a Christmas song – it comes from the Esther Williams flick **Neptune’s Daughter** , which was the inaugural pick in the SDMB Musical Lovers’ Salon and Debating Society. I was, in fact, the one to pick it. 😃 Esther Williams – Ricardo Montalban – Red Skelton – Betty Garrett. Think chaste '50s seduction, not Christmas. In the context of **Neptune’s Daughter** , it was charming and up until this year, I liked the song. _However_, the Dean Martin version with its chorus of chirpy Stepford wives, on a 40 minute loop, has done the thing in for me – permanently. And while I’m at it, **Let It Snow** and **Marshmallow World** can both die, too. ---
**Author:** ![bluecanary](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bluecanary/32/3614_2.png) [@bluecanary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bluecanary)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putcher-hated-holiday-songs-here/280418/28 "2004-12-19T01:38:40Z")
It must be a whole different set of Christmas songs you have in the US. I don’t think I’ve ever heard ‘_Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer_’ or ‘_Silver & Gold_’. On the other hand, I’m surprised not to see _I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day_ or _Merry Xmas Everybody_ in this list (though I like these songs). Since when was ‘_Baby It’s Cold Outside_’ a Christmas song? P.S Isn’t ‘So This Is Christmas’ really called ‘_Happy Xmas (War Is Over)_’. Maybe they changed the title this year. ---
**Author:** ![supervenusfreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@supervenusfreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/supervenusfreak)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putcher-hated-holiday-songs-here/280418/29 "2004-12-19T02:44:22Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Ah, _c’mon_ people. The worst stick-in-your-head awful Christmas tune that makes you either reach for the razor blade or the sniper rifle is **Feliz Navidad**. My hun Jayjay actually does a happy dance when he hears this song. As for me, any Christmas songs with dogs barking, cats meowing, or people pretending to be chipmunks can go away. ---
**Author:** ![movingfinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@movingfinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/movingfinger)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putcher-hated-holiday-songs-here/280418/30 "2004-12-19T03:01:48Z")
_Feliz Navidad_ _Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree_ \*Jingle Bell Rock \* …and for you unfortunates of my age who will damn my eyes for reminding them of what they have happily forgotten…are you ready? _…All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth._ This seasonal horror dates back to the fifties, and before I die I want to find the graves of the persons who wrote and recorded it and dig up their coffins and urinate in them. ---
**Author:** ![Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bambi_Hassenpfeffer)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putcher-hated-holiday-songs-here/280418/31 "2004-12-19T03:03:43Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Ah, _c’mon_ people. The worst stick-in-your-head awful Christmas tune that makes you either reach for the razor blade or the sniper rifle is **Feliz Navidad**. False. That honor belongs to Steve & Eydie’s rendition of “Sleigh Ride”. Every damn year at work I have to hear it over and over. I also despise “Christmas Shoes”; “Do They Know It’s Christmas” (no, they don’t, cause they largely _ain’t Christian_, Band Aid, so shut the fuck _UP_); “Last Christmas”; this horrible version of “Deck the Halls” that’s all electronicky instrumentals and sounds like freaking atmosphere music at EPCOT; and several others that I’m sure I’m forgetting. But I work tomorrow, and I will hear all of these and others there, so I will report back. ---
**Author:** ![Ninja\_Pizza\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f04885/32.png) [@Ninja\_Pizza\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ninja_Pizza_Guy)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putcher-hated-holiday-songs-here/280418/32 "2004-12-19T04:18:10Z")
_Silver Bells_ makes me wish for a tower, a rifle, a case of ammo and a large target selection. (Replace “tower” with “mall” and you’ve got my christmas shopping mood down pat. That whole “you vhill be cheervul und you vhill luff it!” thing irks me.) Dammit, I actually typed S\*\*\*\*\* B\*\*\*\* - now I need to go listen to _Christmas Eve - Sarajevo 12/24_ (Savatage), _Father Christmas_ (the Kinks) and _December of Cambreadth_ (Heather Alexander) before I go on a rampage. I do **not** like that song. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putcher-hated-holiday-songs-here/280418/33 "2004-12-19T05:06:57Z")
> [@Bambi Hassenpfeffer](#): > > this horrible version of “Deck the Halls” that’s all electronicky instrumentals and sounds like freaking atmosphere music at EPCOT :eek: You don’t like Mannheim Steamroller?!?! I thought it was a law that everyone HAS to like Mannheim Steamroller! ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putcher-hated-holiday-songs-here/280418/34 "2004-12-19T05:07:02Z")
“All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth” – Makes me want to insert glass shards into my ears. “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas” – Makes me glad I don’t own a gun. Runners-up: “Feliz Navidad” “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” All the others I can at least tolerate to some degree. Some I like. Overall I prefer orchestral renditions to the “pop” Christmas songs. I also _like_ all the “joke” versions of the “12 Days of Christmas.” ---
**Author:** ![hazel-rah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/73ab20/32.png) [@hazel-rah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hazel-rah)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putcher-hated-holiday-songs-here/280418/35 "2004-12-19T05:10:17Z")
As the inspiration for this thread, I’ll just say three words: Trans-Siberian Orchestra. Or is that two words? Let’s make it four: Trans Fucking Siberian Orchestra. Sorry **Ninja Pizza Guy** , but they have to be destroyed. Just the way it is. And “Happy Birthday Jesus” by the Barenaked Ladies. I’m not religious by any stretch, but this tossed off, smirking turd of a song makes me wish I could send some Old Testament style wrath of God up Canada way. Mannheim Steamroller? How many years in a row can you add one new track to a mix of old shit and call it a new Christmas album? Indefinitely it seems. You need a lit stick of dynamite dropped down the front of your pants. The Rat Pack? You’re all dead, so there’s little danger of you recording more smug holiday crap. But it’s such easy money, I’m sure they’ll dig something up (so to speak) and everybody will line up at the trough for it. That reminds me… Clay Aiken, you’ve cashed in on Christmas. Now somebody needs to cash you out for your crass, shittily executed commerical pap. James Taylor? Fuck you for having Christmas songs but no Christmas album. I’m tired of explaining this bizarre oversight every two minutes. The little girl who wants a hippopotamus for Christmas? You get death. Chris Isaak? Death. Lou Rawls? Death. Andrea Bocelli? You don’t have a Christmas album, but it’s death for you all the same. Mediaeval Babes? I used to like you, but most of the songs on your Christmas album are A. From other records you’ve released and B. Not about Christmas at all. So I’m afraid it’s death death death death death for you and your gratuitous cleavage. Streisand? Death. Handel? Tchaikovsky? Yanni? Death, death, death. Run DMC? You get cake. I could never get tired of “Christmas In Hollis.” (apologies to Mr. Izzard) ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putcher-hated-holiday-songs-here/280418/36 "2004-12-19T05:10:36Z")
Then again, I really shouldn’t be in this thread at all, since I’m the über-Christmas-music-elf. I love 'em all, though I AM getting to the point where I’m entertaining fantasies of Mary and Denise Crosby bitchslapping the bejaysus out of the old Bingle for recording 137 different versions of _White Christmas_, none with a tempo fast enough to catch up to a snail if you gave the song a head start and a bicycle. Oh, and the less said about any attempt by Wham! or George Michael to record Christmas music, the better. ---
**Author:** ![hazel-rah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/73ab20/32.png) [@hazel-rah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hazel-rah)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putcher-hated-holiday-songs-here/280418/37 "2004-12-19T05:13:15Z")
Yeah, I just got off work. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putcher-hated-holiday-songs-here/280418/38 "2004-12-19T05:25:31Z")
_Last Christmas_\* by _Wham!_. Hint: Having the word “Christmas” in the lyrics or title does NOT automatically make something a Christmas song! ---
**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putcher-hated-holiday-songs-here/280418/39 "2004-12-19T07:20:20Z")
Not really a Christmas song, in fact not a Christmas song in any sense of the word, and depressing as all get out to boot. _Another Auld Lang Syne_ I might not mind listening to it on the oldies station once in a long while, but to play it in the loop of Christmas music makes as much sense as playing _Independence Day_ by (I think) Martina McBride around the Fourth of July. Don’t people listen to these before they put them on the play list?! ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2004, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putcher-hated-holiday-songs-here/280418/40 "2004-12-19T19:15:15Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > _Little Drummer Boy_. Even – nay, especially – the Bing Crosby-David Bowie version. Welcome to my recorded hell, but please consider the _ultima thule_, the absolute _nadir_ , if you will,of TLDB experience. Does the name Marlene Dietreich ring a bell, and does it make the flesh crawl and the head pound? It will, my friend, it will.I actually like the Eartha kitt version of “Santa Baby”, but not any other. I do like her singing style. Ever see the movie she made with Nat King Cole[he of the wonderfully-evocative “Christmas Song”, and my secular favorite], she played a torch singer and was very effective in the film. My favorite religious song of the holiday is “In Old Judea”. I remember it well from gradeschool days, and there it languishes, out of favor and memory. It’s a sing-and-response[I believe that’s the proper term] term, and is sung fairly quickly. There’s been an absolute dearth of “Grandma GROBAR”[and more’s the pity] this season, too many listener complaints maybe? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putcher-hated-holiday-songs-here/280418.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putcher-hated-holiday-songs-here/280418.md?page=3)