# Putin pretends to be Sauron
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putin-pretends-to-be-sauron/977557
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Tags:** ukraine-invasion
**Created:** [January 3, 2023, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putin-pretends-to-be-sauron/977557 "2023-01-03T00:05:35Z")
**Posts on this page:** 17
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2023, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putin-pretends-to-be-sauron/977557/1 "2023-01-03T00:05:35Z")
The story of the rings is well known here, so [this](https://theins.ru/en/news/258195) will need little further comment: Putin gives away eight rings as gifts to the leaders of the Commonwealth of Independent States (CIS) countries at an informal summit held in St. Petersburg. He keeps the ninth.
Whatever you say, the Russians are master trolls. My [source (in German)](http://blog.fefe.de/?ts=9d4df12f) claims that Ucrainians call the Russians _orks_ and Russia _Mordor_. And proud of it, they reply. And we know you well. They use our tropes to rub it in our noses. What an asshole move.
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### Author:  [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2023, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putin-pretends-to-be-sauron/977557/2 "2023-01-03T16:27:59Z")
Sauron was actually charming.
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### Author:  [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2023, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putin-pretends-to-be-sauron/977557/3 "2023-01-03T16:29:31Z")
One Ring to bring them all, and in the Kremlin bind them?
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### Author:  [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2023, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putin-pretends-to-be-sauron/977557/4 "2023-01-03T16:37:42Z")
Sauron is Middle-earth for loser.
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### Author:  [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2023, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putin-pretends-to-be-sauron/977557/5 "2023-01-03T16:43:17Z")
The gray haired power in the west? Biden is the Gandalf figure in this narrative.
The corrupted figure that seeks to use the conflict to advance himself? Xi is Saruman.
And the pathetic misshapen figure, twisted by greed and lies, who originated in the western lands but served Sauron? Trump is Gollum.
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### Author:  [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2023, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putin-pretends-to-be-sauron/977557/6 "2023-01-03T16:49:47Z")
I’d nominate Lukashenko as the Saruman equivalent; the rest is spot-on.
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### Author:  [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2023, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putin-pretends-to-be-sauron/977557/7 "2023-01-03T16:58:14Z")
Our many Republican traitors seem to be embracing the role of the Nazgûl.
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### Author:  [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2023, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putin-pretends-to-be-sauron/977557/8 "2023-01-03T17:43:07Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#):
>
> The gray haired power in the west? Biden is the Gandalf figure in this narrative.
So that’s why Biden was yelling “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!” when the US made trade sanctions. I thought he was talking about legislation.
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### Author:  [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2023, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putin-pretends-to-be-sauron/977557/9 "2023-01-03T17:45:10Z")
> [@Atamasama](#):
>
> So that’s why Biden was yelling “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!” when the US made trade sanctions. I thought he was talking about legislation.
“I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor, and I’m not going to put up with any more of your malarkey, ~~Sauron~~ Putin!”
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### Author:  [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2023, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putin-pretends-to-be-sauron/977557/10 "2023-01-03T17:54:47Z")
So where are the hobbits? And could I have a mithril coat, please?
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### Author:  [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2023, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putin-pretends-to-be-sauron/977557/11 "2023-01-03T17:55:51Z")
The real world isn’t good enough to have hobbits. ☹
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### Author:  [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2023, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putin-pretends-to-be-sauron/977557/12 "2023-01-03T18:19:50Z")
> [@Pardel-Lux](#):
>
> So where are the hobbits?
Down in Ukraine, working to throw the Precious into the fire, and generally giving what-for to Sharkey’s men.
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### Author:  [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2023, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putin-pretends-to-be-sauron/977557/13 "2023-01-03T18:55:36Z")
I wonder if Putin put something radioactive in those rings?
So he can arrange successors sooner?
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### Author:  [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2023, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putin-pretends-to-be-sauron/977557/14 "2023-01-03T19:06:21Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#):
>
> > [@Pardel-Lux](#):
> >
> > So where are the hobbits?
>
> Down in Ukraine, working to throw the Precious into the fire, and generally giving what-for to Sharkey’s men.
Well, Zelenskyii is pretty short, but I don’t know how hairy his feet are.
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### Author:  [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2023, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putin-pretends-to-be-sauron/977557/15 "2023-01-03T19:10:39Z")
> [@Pardel-Lux](#):
>
> So where are the hobbits?
According to Tolkien, IIRC, they’re still around. They just can’t be bothered to show themselves.
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### Author:  [@Mundane\_Super\_Hero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundane_Super_Hero)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2023, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putin-pretends-to-be-sauron/977557/16 "2023-01-03T19:44:40Z")
> [@Pardel-Lux](#):
>
> So where are the hobbits?
The Hobbits were always from a far off land, well away from the starting battles.
New Zealand…?
( Peter Jackson is my cite )
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### Author:  [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2023, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putin-pretends-to-be-sauron/977557/17 "2023-01-03T21:28:35Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#):
>
> Down in Ukraine, working to throw the Precious into the fire
Zelensky isn’t a hobbit. imo. The Ukrainians are the Rohirrim and allies fighting the forces of Sauron in one the many battles that are waged across Middle Earth. Ents and Great Eagles will be forthcoming in 2023.
> [@Johnny\_Bravo](#):
>
> They just can’t be bothered to show themselves.
Indeed, the hobbits are already _inside_ Russia, this is the part of the analogy that Putin has unwittingly conjured. We don’t know who they are, but they will ultimately take Putin’s power and destroy him _in Moscow_.