# Putting up a privacy fence - might get awkward with neighbor **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 22, 2014, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putting-up-a-privacy-fence-might-get-awkward-with-neighbor/686667 "2014-04-22T10:57:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putting-up-a-privacy-fence-might-get-awkward-with-neighbor/686667/21 "2014-04-22T22:41:27Z")
In some areas, it’s a default to assume that the person with the nice side doesn’t own the fence. Fences that are meant to be co-owned will have alternating sections of nice side and back side. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putting-up-a-privacy-fence-might-get-awkward-with-neighbor/686667/22 "2014-04-22T22:50:02Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > I’m really surprised that some here would put the finished side toward the neighbors. I feel that I’m paying for it, I should enjoy the ‘nice’ side. They don’t care that we have to look at all their crap piled along their garage, I’m not going to worry that they have to see the back of the fence. > > Us desiring a pool would not be believable. Neither would us getting a dog (particularly because we’re not enclosing the entire yard). > > There is currently a chain link fence along the property line FWIW. > > The fence would run only between our two properties, so it will be obvious that it is them from whom we desire privacy. > > I agree that I need not justify it; I’m just looking for a tactful answer to the inevitable ‘why’. (I prefer not to say something like “I don’t owe you any explanation.”) > mmm I just assume it’s custom that the finished side of a fence face outwards, for property values and aesthetics and so on. That’s always been my observation and experience but [here’s an interesting article](http://www.nytimes.com/1999/03/14/nyregion/with-neighborliness-fading-fences-turn-inward.html) on the topic. I’ve never owned a house where the “smooth” side faced inwards. I like **Voyager’s** response. Vague, but would totally work. I’d be surprised if your neighbors actually asked why but my default is “you can’t go wrong with the truth” and if you can spin it to be more diplomatic, there’s nothing wrong with that. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putting-up-a-privacy-fence-might-get-awkward-with-neighbor/686667/23 "2014-04-23T00:19:19Z")
I planted a hedge of holly bushes. three advantages. 1. privacy 2. the thorny leaves are a deterrent to anyone trespassing on my property. 3. hedges absorb and block sound Alo neighbors don’t ask questions. Everyone likes shrubbery. You could also you a traditional box hedge. Privet hedge is a fast growing one. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putting-up-a-privacy-fence-might-get-awkward-with-neighbor/686667/24 "2014-04-23T00:25:07Z")
Video - growing a hedge. He used needlepoint holly too. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/KWoYbmw3_Gg/maxresdefault.jpg "How to Grow Hedge Screens | At Home With P. Allen Smith") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWoYbmw3_Gg) ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putting-up-a-privacy-fence-might-get-awkward-with-neighbor/686667/25 "2014-04-23T00:38:18Z")
> [@](#): > > There is currently a chain link fence along the property line FWIW. “We’re doing some work on the yard that includes putting in a nicer looking fence.” ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putting-up-a-privacy-fence-might-get-awkward-with-neighbor/686667/26 "2014-04-23T01:05:44Z")
> [@susan](#): > > “We’re doing some work on the yard that includes putting in a nicer looking fence.” This is my favorite response so far. Also, I looked into local code and learned: [ul] [li]The finished side of the fence must face my neighbor’s yard[/li][li]I must remove the existing chain link fence[/li][li]I need the neighbor’s written permission to erect a privacy fence[/li][/ul] Turning out to be a bigger deal than I first thought. mmm ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putting-up-a-privacy-fence-might-get-awkward-with-neighbor/686667/27 "2014-04-23T01:15:01Z")
Whatever you do, spend at least a full year talking about it so that everybody can fully express their FEEEEEEEELINGS about it. We fenced in three sides last year, about 200 feet total. The family on the left was cool about it, even though we did the weird two-fence thing with a gap, because they had two large, annoying dogs that could easily see over their current fence and went nuts whenever we let our (small) dog out. The neighbors on the rear were OK with it at first, but then got slightly pissy about it when they realized that they would no longer be able to spy on us, and their cats would no longer be able to piss in our yard. The neighbors to the right were absolute assholes. Dude was a self-described “handy guy” and former [sub]semi-[/sub]pro ball player, who’s fondest wish was to have a giant ball field stretching over several back yards for his kid to play in. Barring that, he had OPIIIIIIINIONS on how we should build the fence - that we should do it ourselves, that we should use his buddy to do it, that we should make it _n_ feet high of _x_ style, etc. We literally went back and forth for 11 months about it. He got increasingly shittypanties about it, so finally we just said “fuck it” and did it on our own terms. We ended up not talking to them for six months. The fence looks cool though. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putting-up-a-privacy-fence-might-get-awkward-with-neighbor/686667/28 "2014-04-23T01:29:36Z")
We have the same rules here. I didn’t want to fight for fencing permission and get people mad. I bought 9 needlepoint holly bushes. I splurged on the bigger ones. That gave me a 3 1/2 ft head start. By year 2 they were 5 ft high and had spread out making a full hedge. Totally legal and no hard feelings with my neighbor. > [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > This is my favorite response so far. > > Also, I looked into local code and learned: > > [ul] > [li]The finished side of the fence must face my neighbor’s yard[/li][li]I must remove the existing chain link fence[/li][li]I need the neighbor’s written permission to erect a privacy fence[/li][/ul] > > Turning out to be a bigger deal than I first thought. > mmm ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putting-up-a-privacy-fence-might-get-awkward-with-neighbor/686667/29 "2014-04-23T03:32:28Z")
When the neighbours ask why, explain that the Mustard family is experimenting with naturalism and wanted to spare the neighbours from having any little awkwardness. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putting-up-a-privacy-fence-might-get-awkward-with-neighbor/686667/30 "2014-04-23T03:40:17Z")
> [@black\_rabbit](#): > > Whatever you do, spend at least a full year talking about it so that everybody can fully express their FEEEEEEEELINGS about it. > > We fenced in three sides last year, about 200 feet total. The family on the left was cool about it, even though we did the weird two-fence thing with a gap, because they had two large, annoying dogs that could easily see over their current fence and went nuts whenever we let our (small) dog out. > > The neighbors on the rear were OK with it at first, but then got slightly pissy about it when they realized that they would no longer be able to spy on us, and their cats would no longer be able to piss in our yard. > > The neighbors to the right were absolute assholes. Dude was a self-described “handy guy” and former [sub]semi-[/sub]pro ball player, who’s fondest wish was to have a giant ball field stretching over several back yards for his kid to play in. Barring that, he had OPIIIIIIINIONS on how we should build the fence - that we should do it ourselves, that we should use his buddy to do it, that we should make it _n_ feet high of _x_ style, etc. We literally went back and forth for 11 months about it. He got increasingly shittypanties about it, so finally we just said “fuck it” and did it on our own terms. We ended up not talking to them for six months. > > The fence looks cool though. OMFG. At our last house, we came home one day and our neighbours had razed the hedge between our houses to the ground. We hated it, but we figured it was their hedge, so they can do as they please with it. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putting-up-a-privacy-fence-might-get-awkward-with-neighbor/686667/31 "2014-04-23T04:25:16Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > I’m just looking for a tactful answer to the inevitable ‘why’. (I prefer not to say something like “I don’t owe you any explanation.”) > mmm “The Lord came to me in a vision and commanded me to erect a fence.” If you can say it with a beatific smile, all the better. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putting-up-a-privacy-fence-might-get-awkward-with-neighbor/686667/32 "2014-04-23T04:56:55Z")
Our area is one of rolling hills and the yards go down so a privacy fence does little good. Still, I think everyone likes at least a private area. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putting-up-a-privacy-fence-might-get-awkward-with-neighbor/686667/33 "2014-04-23T08:32:05Z")
What’s so difficult about telling them it’s to hide the view of their > [@](#): > > unused kids’ stuff (riding toys, hockey net) along their garage where it is out of sight to them. ? ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putting-up-a-privacy-fence-might-get-awkward-with-neighbor/686667/34 "2014-04-23T09:29:46Z")
Must be somewhat different where you live, but here the local ordinance is that each property owner shares the cost of the fence. That is a “normal” fence- if you want something more elaborate you pay the extra. Of course the reality is that often the person wanting the fence often foots the account because it is a pain getting money from the neighbour. Plus, you often need to access their yard to make the building easier. I’m going through the same thing at the moment and the finished side will be with the neighbour but that is simply because it is easier to erect (we have trees our side so the construction is simpler from her side). The difficulty I have is that I think she has a bit of dementia (she is about 90) and she may forget that we agreed on the fence. I would add that I am footing the bill for it. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putting-up-a-privacy-fence-might-get-awkward-with-neighbor/686667/35 "2014-04-23T10:57:43Z")
> [@sandra\_nz](#): > > What’s so difficult about telling them it’s to hide the view of their (unused kids’ stuff (riding toys, hockey net) along their garage where it is out of sight to them)? This was actually my initial thought. Probably the best way to go. mmm ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putting-up-a-privacy-fence-might-get-awkward-with-neighbor/686667/36 "2014-04-23T11:07:27Z")
> [@Cicero](#): > > Plus, you often need to access their yard to make the building easier. Maintenance as well. Friends of mine have fought with their crazy neighbor(C.N.) for twenty years. My friends erected a totally legal fence between their properties. If the grass on C.N.'s side of the fence gets too high, he reports my friends and they are hassled. When my friends go on the other side of the fence to weed-wack the too-high grass, C.N. calls the cops because they are trespassing (he has NO TRESPASSING signs posted on his side of the fence). The police have to respond. Good fences might make good neighbors, but they don’t cure the crazy. Happily (from my friends’ POV), the guy is dying, albeit slowly. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putting-up-a-privacy-fence-might-get-awkward-with-neighbor/686667/37 "2014-04-23T11:16:05Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > This was actually my initial thought. Probably the best way to go. Honesty is the best policy and all that. 😉 Question for you - if they moved that stuff elsewhere (out of your sight), would you still want to put a fence up? ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putting-up-a-privacy-fence-might-get-awkward-with-neighbor/686667/38 "2014-04-23T11:24:31Z")
> [@sandra\_nz](#): > > Honesty is the best policy and all that. 😉 > > Question for you - if they moved that stuff elsewhere (out of your sight), would you still want to put a fence up? I’m with Sandra. We’re putting a fence up for several reasons, but the main one is that we don’t want to look at your stuff and we don’t want you to feel like you have to move it. ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putting-up-a-privacy-fence-might-get-awkward-with-neighbor/686667/39 "2014-04-23T12:15:29Z")
Or make it a two-way thing. ‘We figure you and we should both be able to leave our stuff lying around our gardens without worrying about the other family having to look at it.’ ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putting-up-a-privacy-fence-might-get-awkward-with-neighbor/686667/40 "2014-04-23T13:42:05Z")
Usually its friendly discussion first (I like the pool gambit) and if that goes well you get your permits from the town. Once its up, its up. But, if you don’t have that ‘friendly discussion’ and they happen to be at /have a friend at town hall, the permits could get delayed (possibly very expensive if you’ve got contractors involved in getting them) or turned down altogether. The simple rule of thumb is that mortgages are usually for 30 years, so Play Nice. PS- I disagree with the nude sun bathing ploy. If they object but you want to push it, the ‘morality’ card still gets a lot of play. Also, if they are going to lose and get REALLY spiteful, you don’t want “Fight over nude sunbathing fence” to be topic for the local paper or a 2 minute joke bit on the Morning Zoo radio program for your city. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putting-up-a-privacy-fence-might-get-awkward-with-neighbor/686667.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/putting-up-a-privacy-fence-might-get-awkward-with-neighbor/686667.md?page=3)