# Pygmy eating cannibals, Jeezus!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pygmy-eating-cannibals-jeezus/147635
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [January 10, 2003, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pygmy-eating-cannibals-jeezus/147635 "2003-01-10T00:08:48Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2003, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pygmy-eating-cannibals-jeezus/147635/1 "2003-01-10T00:08:48Z")
Just ran across this [article](http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2003/01/09/1041990047245.html). Man, if you thought eating dead fetuses was bad.
I don’t suppose there’s any chance this is a hoax/propoganda, too?
---
### Author:  [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2003, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pygmy-eating-cannibals-jeezus/147635/2 "2003-01-10T00:58:04Z")
I thought it was cannibals eating pymgies, rather than pygmies eating cannibals (which would be sort of ironical justice)
If ever we think that the modern world is civilized, we get stories like this to remind us how far we have yet to go.
---
### Author:  [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2003, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pygmy-eating-cannibals-jeezus/147635/3 "2003-01-10T05:37:56Z")
Two cannibals eating a clown. One says, “Does this taste funny to you?”
Hear about the cannibal runner that passed his coach during a marathon?
* * *
I think the story may just be true. Remember the rumors of Idi Amin? And what about the stories from Rwanda?
Rough world, guys.
---
### Author:  [@heresiarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heresiarch)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2003, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pygmy-eating-cannibals-jeezus/147635/4 "2003-01-10T06:00:33Z")
I’m glad it wasn’t a “pygmy-eating cannibal Jesus.”
Because that’d just be wrong.
---
### Author:  [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2003, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pygmy-eating-cannibals-jeezus/147635/5 "2003-01-10T14:00:06Z")
Wonder if pygmies are considered “fun-sized” ?
---
### Author:  [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2003, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pygmy-eating-cannibals-jeezus/147635/6 "2003-01-10T14:28:53Z")
> [@](#):
>
> **"We hear reports of [enemy] commanders feeding on sexual organs of pygmies, apparently believing this would give them strength," he said. "We also have reports of pygmies being forced to feed on the cooked remains of their colleagues."**
There’d be an excellent joke about eating cock in there, if this story weren’t so sad. Un-friggin’-believable.
---
### Author:  [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2003, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pygmy-eating-cannibals-jeezus/147635/7 "2003-01-10T14:55:54Z")
Top of the food chain, baby. Humans gotta taste good, no?
The forcing them to eat their collegues, tho… That’s almost proof that Satan really does exist. This is just evil, plain and simple. Demented to the point of… Well, I can’t think of much else more demented.
---
### Author:  [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2003, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pygmy-eating-cannibals-jeezus/147635/8 "2003-01-10T15:23:22Z")
Yeah, I heard this on the news last night.
Keep in mind that accusations of cannibalism are often used to try to prejudice people against “the other side.” Traders would come into an area, and the locals would say, “Oh, by the way, whatever you do, _don’t_ go any further up the river. Those guys up there, they’re cannibals!” I.e. Stay here and trade with us, so we can turn around and barter with our “cannibal” neighbors for a tidy profit. Or when missionaries come to town, telling them that the next village over feasted on human flesh was just another way to continue their inter-tribal rivalry. Slander contributed to the belief that cannibalism was widespread in many remote areas, but, with a few exceptions, it was proganda.
I’m not saying that the claims are certainly false, but they have garnered quite a bit of international attention and sympathy, now, haven’t they?
---
### Author:  [@samboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samboy)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2003, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pygmy-eating-cannibals-jeezus/147635/9 "2003-01-10T15:33:37Z")
Its not in this article, but in the guardian one it said that the rebels were wearing the body parts of their foes in order to gain strength in battle or somethting.
WTF. This is all so fucking crazy.
News Flash: Humans eatng Humans sends you crazy (AKA Mad Cow) plus it is… Fucking crazy,
PS: NoClueBoy and jk1245: VV funny in a “we’re all going to hell” kind of way.:eek:
---
### Author:  [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2003, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pygmy-eating-cannibals-jeezus/147635/10 "2003-01-10T16:07:42Z")
So I guess these pygmies are being boiled or roasted first, right?
That would make the cannibal who’s watching the pot a _short-order cook_.
---
### Author:  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2003, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pygmy-eating-cannibals-jeezus/147635/11 "2003-01-10T16:40:19Z")
Pygmies make excellent appetizers.
---
### Author:  [@Vinnie\_Virginslayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vinnie_Virginslayer)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2003, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pygmy-eating-cannibals-jeezus/147635/12 "2003-01-10T17:12:59Z")
I agree **lieu** , I usually order a round at Outback before chowing down on some Hottentots.
Guess who’s coming to dinner? PYGMY POITIER!!!
But seriously ladies and germs pygmyies are not cheap fare; I hear they cost and arm and a leg.
I hear the Mayi-Mayi love to pygmy out.
Okay, this is a horrific story if it is true, and in all seriousness, I demand to know why there has not been any coverage of this on the Food Network.
---
### Author:  [@Vinnie\_Virginslayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vinnie_Virginslayer)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2003, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pygmy-eating-cannibals-jeezus/147635/13 "2003-01-10T17:19:48Z")
Since the pygmies are so easy to catch and cook, I take it they are not considered fast food?
Hey at least the Mayi-Mayi aren’t as bad as the Koreans; they eat KITTY CATS for chrissakes, how sick is THAT?
I had a waitress serve me pygmy at a restaurant in the Congo once; I gave her a leftover finger as a tip.
---
### Author:  [@jlzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jlzania)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2003, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pygmy-eating-cannibals-jeezus/147635/14 "2003-01-10T17:30:47Z")
With a due respect and without wanting to come off as a member of the holy-than-thou PC police, I fail to see any humor in this.
The Congo has been the scene of unspeakable violence for years.
And we’re at the latest atrocities because?
---
### Author:  [@jlzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jlzania)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2003, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pygmy-eating-cannibals-jeezus/147635/15 "2003-01-10T17:33:00Z")
Should read " And we’re laughing at the latest atrocities because?"
---
### Author:  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2003, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pygmy-eating-cannibals-jeezus/147635/16 "2003-01-10T17:45:02Z")
I hadn’t actually read the article but just did so based on **jlzania’s** comment.
Shit, that’s some pretty grim stuff going down over there. Where the hell are the food relief agencies?
---
### Author:  [@jlzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jlzania)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2003, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pygmy-eating-cannibals-jeezus/147635/17 "2003-01-10T18:12:51Z")
Thanks for taking the time to actually read the article, **lieu.**
The Mabuti were the subject of one of my all time favorite books “The Forest People” by Colin Turnbull. Although he was later accused of romanticizing their life style, I found them a most appealing group. I hate to think of all the indigenous peoples that are trapped between warring factions that regard them as totally expendable.
---
### Author:  [@Vinnie\_Virginslayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vinnie_Virginslayer)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2003, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pygmy-eating-cannibals-jeezus/147635/18 "2003-01-10T18:29:21Z")
If you want to read a very good book about the Congo, try
[http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060188804/qid=1042222763/sr=2-2/ref=sr\_2\_2/103-7598083-3985434](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060188804/qid=1042222763/sr=2-2/ref=sr_2_2/103-7598083-3985434)
I agree that this story is a tragedy and should not be scoffed at. Cannibals are despicable people who create nothing of their own and simply feed off others.
Any truth to the rumor the new national anthem of the Congo is “O, Cannibal”?
Mayi Mayi saying Grace: “Pass the pygmies, pass the meat, for chrissakes lets eat!”
These rebels aren’t as smart as the ones in Sierra Leone. At least there if you chop up and eat somebody, you get a few diamonds out of the deal.
I think the United States should get involved with this tragedy using chemical weapons. Simply have a few jets fly over the jungle and spray Trim Spa.
---
### Author:  [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2003, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pygmy-eating-cannibals-jeezus/147635/19 "2003-01-10T18:39:55Z")
> [@](#):
>
> I’m glad it wasn’t a “pygmy-eating cannibal Jesus.”
Everytime I scan the thread titles, I think that’s what it says.
“Cannibal Jesus”. Good band name.
---
### Author:  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)
#### Post date: [January 10, 2003, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pygmy-eating-cannibals-jeezus/147635/20 "2003-01-10T19:39:48Z")
Somebody really needs to chew those cannibals’ asses out.
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pygmy-eating-cannibals-jeezus/147635.md?page=2)