# Q&A about the French **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 17, 2003, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/q-a-about-the-french/155711 "2003-02-17T20:45:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![II\_Gyan\_II](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/bbe5ce/32.png) [@II\_Gyan\_II](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/II_Gyan_II)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2003, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/q-a-about-the-french/155711/1 "2003-02-17T20:45:46Z")
(spotted on Fark) **Q** : How many Frenchman does it take to guard Paris? **A** : Nobody knows, it has never been tried before **What color is the American flag?** Red, White, and Blue. **What color is the British flag?** Red, White, and Blue. **What color is the French flag?** White. **Q** : What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? **A** : The Army. **Q** : Why don’t they have fireworks at Euro Disney? **A** : Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender. **Q** : Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees? **A** : So the Germans could march in the shade. Flame away. ---
**Author:** ![II\_Gyan\_II](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/bbe5ce/32.png) [@II\_Gyan\_II](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/II_Gyan_II)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2003, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/q-a-about-the-french/155711/2 "2003-02-17T20:49:38Z")
I forgot one… **Q** : What’s the lastest in French military technology ? **A** : The new French tank with five gears for reverse and one for forward in case they get attacked from behind. ---
**Author:** ![UnwrittenNocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/6de8d8/32.png) [@UnwrittenNocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UnwrittenNocturne)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2003, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/q-a-about-the-french/155711/3 "2003-02-17T20:53:43Z")
Kinda like shooting fish in a barrel though is it not? Hell I am a New Zealander by birth and still hold some residual grudges for an act of French Terrorism on NZ soil (yeah ok in a harbour - they bombed a ship). Not that support the people whose boat they blew up, but I object to their methods. ---
**Author:** ![Dryga\_Yes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/838e76/32.png) [@Dryga\_Yes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dryga_Yes)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2003, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/q-a-about-the-french/155711/4 "2003-02-17T20:56:57Z")
The [fark.com](http://fark.com) forums are a festering shithole and anyone who posts there voluntarily is a worthless human being. LOL! FRANCE SURRENDERS! ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2003, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/q-a-about-the-french/155711/5 "2003-02-17T20:58:44Z")
Hoo boy. More French-bashing. How utterly original. ---
**Author:** ![carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrot)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2003, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/q-a-about-the-french/155711/6 "2003-02-17T21:09:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dryga\_Yes \* > \*\*The [fark.com](http://fark.com) forums are a festering shithole and anyone who posts there voluntarily is a worthless human being. \*\* Just the fora? ---
**Author:** ![roadrunner70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@roadrunner70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roadrunner70)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2003, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/q-a-about-the-french/155711/7 "2003-02-17T21:17:52Z")
…and their damn fries make me fat. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2003, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/q-a-about-the-french/155711/8 "2003-02-17T21:28:21Z")
Hmmm…now why would someone end their post with “Flame away?” Just baffling. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2003, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/q-a-about-the-french/155711/9 "2003-02-17T21:46:07Z")
When come back, bring pie. ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2003, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/q-a-about-the-french/155711/10 "2003-02-17T22:10:00Z")
OK, what is _with_ all of the damn French-bashing on the Internet? I’ve never heard anything remotely like it in real life, despite having known plenty of right-wing froot loops in my time. Are there huge numbers of closet Francophobes who only indulge in their proclivities while online, or do I just lead a much more sheltered life than I thought? ---
**Author:** ![Abe\_Babe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3ab097/32.png) [@Abe\_Babe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abe_Babe)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2003, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/q-a-about-the-french/155711/11 "2003-02-17T22:27:53Z")
I’m no Francophobe. I know lots of guys named Frank, and I’m not scared of any of them. Except the one who’s always mumbling to himself and named his knives. ---
**Author:** ![Slainte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Slainte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slainte)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2003, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/q-a-about-the-french/155711/12 "2003-02-17T23:13:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fretful Porpentine \* > \*\*Are there huge numbers of closet Francophobes who only indulge in their proclivities while online, or do I just lead a much more sheltered life than I thought? \*\* You’ve just been lucky - if you come to my office any given day, you’ll hear my co-worker, the self-appointed political aficionado, spewing all kinds of anti-France venom. ---
**Author:** ![musicguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@musicguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/musicguy)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2003, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/q-a-about-the-french/155711/13 "2003-02-17T23:46:08Z")
how long would this thread remain civilized if those jokes were about black people or gays? ---
**Author:** ![Fox\_in\_the\_Snow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/82dd89/32.png) [@Fox\_in\_the\_Snow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fox_in_the_Snow)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2003, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/q-a-about-the-french/155711/14 "2003-02-18T00:29:57Z")
It does seem a like a fair few Americans were sitting around waiting for the French to do something even vaguely anti-american. “At Last” they cry “Now we can break out our extremely poor, xenophobic jokes and display our pitiful knowledge of european History. And All in the name of the U.S.A.! GO USA! GO USA!” At least that’s how I picture it. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2003, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/q-a-about-the-french/155711/15 "2003-02-18T00:30:40Z")
I dunno. Let’s find out. What color is the American flag? Red, White, and Blue. What color is the British flag? Red, White, and Blue. What color is the Gay flag? Pink. Q: Why don’t they have fireworks in Bedford-Stuyvesant? A: Because every time they shoot them off, the Black people dance really cool. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2003, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/q-a-about-the-french/155711/16 "2003-02-18T01:06:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fox in the Snow \* > \*\*It does seem a like a fair few Americans were sitting around waiting for the French to do something even vaguely anti-american. > > “At Last” they cry “Now we can break out our extremely poor, xenophobic jokes and display our pitiful knowledge of european History. And All in the name of the U.S.A.! GO USA! GO USA!” > > At least that’s how I picture it. \*\* Neeps and tatties must be low in vitamin A. **Ukelele Ike** , your espousal of festering stereotypes does you no credit, sir, and in fact inspires universal revulsion. ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2003, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/q-a-about-the-french/155711/17 "2003-02-18T01:13:30Z")
I think he was being satirical, but I don’t think it worked. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2003, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/q-a-about-the-french/155711/18 "2003-02-18T01:30:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jackmannii \* > \*\* and in fact inspires universal revulsion. \*\* I’d say it worked just fine. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2003, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/q-a-about-the-french/155711/19 "2003-02-18T12:20:45Z")
sorry Jack, but a “relating example”, regardless of sarcasm, is a perfectly cromulent of displaying the fault of a statement. ---
**Author:** ![Desmostylus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c57346/32.png) [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2003, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/q-a-about-the-french/155711/20 "2003-02-18T13:18:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TwistofFate \* > \*\*sorry Jack, but a “relating example”, regardless of sarcasm, is a perfectly cromulent of displaying the fault of a statement. \*\* Try again in fucking English. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/q-a-about-the-french/155711.md?page=2)