# Queer Eye 4/13 - The Pilot **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 14, 2004, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-4-13-the-pilot/239881 "2004-04-14T00:03:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-4-13-the-pilot/239881/1 "2004-04-14T00:03:06Z")
The never-before seen pilot episode, featuring a different Fab 5 lineup and posing the unanswerable question, what might have been? > [@](#): > > Name: Lawson C. > Age: 30 > Height: 6’2" > Weight: 180 lbs > Status: Single > Occupation: Advertising Executive > Category: Straight Guy Number 1 > Location: Boston, Massachusetts > Event: Girlfriend’s 30th Birthday > Before there was Adam, before there was Butch, even before there was Blair…there was Lawson. Back in 2002, there were a couple of guys named David who had an idea for a makeover show with a difference. To some, it seemed like a long shot: the show would star five openly gay men, the makeover subjects would all be heterosexual men, and the title would include the word “Queer.” Still, the only way to find out if America was ready for Queer Eye would be to cast five fabulous experts and let them loose on one hapless straight guy, with cameras in tow. > The first step was to assemble the Fab Five. An exhaustive search yielded a quintet of highly qualified experts: Ted, Carson, James, Sam and Charlie. They were thrown at a Boston-area friend of executive producer David Metzler, Lawson, who had no idea what he was in for. Although a successful man in his early 30s, Lawson was still living like a college undergrad with hand-me-down furniture and an empty refrigerator, much to the dismay of his longtime girlfriend. The Fab Five’s mission: turn this frat boy into a “big boy” to prove to his gal Gable that he has long-term potential. > PROBLEM AREAS > …his apartment has a bracingly mannish smell. > …the focal point of his décor is a giant painting of a gorilla. > …his taste in music seems to have frozen sometime in the late '80s. > …he can only be bothered to wash his hair every three or four weeks. > …it’s been months since his bathroom has seen the business end of a sponge or brush. > …his closet is full of loud shirts and unnatural fibers. > “He sometimes says 'please promise me you’ll be my girlfriend forever. And I just say ‘uh-huh,’ but what I’m really thinking is ‘I’m not going to be your girlfriend forever’.” — Gable, his girlfriend (for now, at least) On the endorsement front, Carson has a deal with Goldfish crackers. The commercial features many “fish” comments. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-4-13-the-pilot/239881/2 "2004-04-14T01:40:56Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > On the endorsement front, Carson has a deal with Goldfish crackers. The commercial features many “fish” comments. “Honey, if you’re _into_ seafood, put _these_ in your mouth!” ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-4-13-the-pilot/239881/3 "2004-04-14T03:04:21Z")
Interesting. Of course it’s not fair to compare a pilot to the series we’ve seen dozens of episodes of, but I can see why the changes in format and personnel were made. Charlie’s work on the apartment was a match for Thom’s, but he just didn’t have the personality. I never caught which one was Sam and which was James, but neither of them stand up to Jai and my sweet sweet Kyan. How sad that in all this time they haven’t found anything for the Culture Guy to do. Pilot CG bought CDs and tickets just like poor Jai does. And what was with the chippie in the loft? Who ever thought that would’ve been a good idea? Best line of the ep: “Billy Joel is the iceberg lettuce of pop.” ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-4-13-the-pilot/239881/4 "2004-04-14T03:21:13Z")
OK, not bad, considering it was essentially an experiment, done on spec. But it did show that some of the consistent themes were there from its very conception – most notably the “slob with unexplainable cute girlfriend” bit, but also the bathroom in violation of health codes, the tragic refrigerator, the bad wall art, the teaching him to cook something to impress his date, the “manscaping” waxing, etc. Of course, they could not get quite as radical as later on when they got some actual sponsors’ money to play around with. But it was good, for what it was. Then there’s Ted and Carson’s explanation for their permanence – essentially that by the time the show got picked up and set in New York they were the only two who could accomodate that. “Everyone else had real jobs”. Me, I suspect a darker hand at work. One that said that “What kind of Queer names are Sam, Charlie and James?” And lo, that’s how we got a Blair, a Kyan, a Jai with an “i”, and a Thom with an “h” 😉 jrd PS: And Carson doing a whole series of “fish” jokes truly makes me swell with pride for America, the land where in any contest between tastefulness and increased sales we already know who wins. And people wonder how we achieved superpower status… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![moi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@moi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moi)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-4-13-the-pilot/239881/5 "2004-04-14T13:11:08Z")
I thought it was amusing to watch the original intro, with James (Culture Guy) taking the center spotlight (i.e. he walks in the center of the group, does the sunglasses move, not Carson). It was obvious from the pilot that Carson would take over _that_ role; he was the only one comfortable chattering at the camera non stop. And poor Ted! He didn’t wear his glasses at all throughout the pilot and looked a bit dazed. ---
**Author:** ![jeevmon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@jeevmon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jeevmon)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-4-13-the-pilot/239881/6 "2004-04-14T14:09:43Z")
The fact that they made the format more or less work in Boston (leaving aside whether the personalities themselves worked) brings up one of my minor peeves about the show in general - it’s too New York-centric at times. A Queer Eye road trip, where the Fab Five improve the lives of guys in Chicago, L.A., etc. would have some appeal. The early episodes were very New York centric, with the guys shopping at New York local stores, so if you lived outside of the Tri-State area, you had no access to the stuff they were buying. As the show has become more successful, they are trying to broaden the appeal by shopping at larger chains rather than small boutiques, which raises issues of its own. But a “Queer Eye for the Chicago Guy,” for example, that also focused on local shopping gems would be nice. Maybe not as a regular thing, but perhaps as a short-term gimmick. ---
**Author:** ![annieclaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b5a626/32.png) [@annieclaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/annieclaus)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-4-13-the-pilot/239881/7 "2004-04-14T14:18:10Z")
> [@moi](#): > > I thought it was amusing to watch the original intro, with James (Culture Guy) taking the center spotlight (i.e. he walks in the center of the group, does the sunglasses move, not Carson). It was obvious from the pilot that Carson would take over _that_ role; he was the only one comfortable chattering at the camera non stop. > > And poor Ted! He didn’t wear his glasses at all throughout the pilot and looked a bit dazed. It’s also so clear from this crappy little episode that Carson would be the breakout star! He just grabs the camera and doesn’t let go! Thank God! Ted? No glasses? Too much sweating! Poor baby! ---
**Author:** ![yellowval](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/919ad9/32.png) [@yellowval](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowval)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-4-13-the-pilot/239881/8 "2004-04-14T14:48:04Z")
Carson and Ted were definitely the two standouts, so it’s no wonder they kept them around. As for James … well, he lost his appeal to me the moment he started berating the guy’s Billy Joel collection, then encouraged him to listen to a guy who was once a member of Tony Toni Tone. Terrible, terrible. **JRDelirious** , who’s Blair? ---
**Author:** ![jeevwoman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@jeevwoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jeevwoman)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-4-13-the-pilot/239881/9 "2004-04-14T16:02:12Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > Best line of the ep: “Billy Joel is the iceberg lettuce of pop.” \*\*jeevmon \*\* has now said that to me at least 10 times since last night. Yeah, it was funny. THE FIRST TIME. Isn’t it weird how much old interior design boy looked like Thom? They kind of even had the same hair. Is that the standard cut for gay decorators? (Kind of redundant to say, I know.) I thought it was sad, too, that Culture Vulture never had a real job. Here I’ve been making fun of Jai the whole time for being worthless and now I see that he comes from a long line of worthlessness. Surely we can think of something for a Culture Vulture to do? Maybe we can start a campaign and email the show with suggestions. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-4-13-the-pilot/239881/10 "2004-04-14T17:22:43Z")
Very interesting to see the original format and what has changed. It was extremely weird to have Ted and pre-Thom shopping for food and furniture and discussing their approaches with the salescritters but not having the subject present. It’s kind of fun to have the Straight Guy not get to sit on his new couch or learn about dessert wines until they’re presented to him in his finished pad, but it’s a whole lot smarter to have the SG accompanying them on the shopping trips the way they do it now. Oddly, one of my favorite moments during the broadcast was the commercial for American Express featuring one of the show’s two creators. I’m quite pleased every time I see a major company unafraid to embrace queer themes in their advertising (previous example: the Orbitz spot with the guy ogling the beefcake dude by the pool from his hotel balcony), so that Amex did a national ad like that makes me happy. Of course, I wonder if they’d have the balls to run that same ad during, say, “Everybody Loves Raymond,” instead of just during a gay-friendly show. Every little step forward is a good thing. > [@jeevwoman](#): > > Surely we can think of something for a Culture Vulture to do? Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t recall the culture guy, either Jai or his predecessor (s?), replacing/enhancing the SG’s music collection so extensively. It’s definitely a good idea; I could use that service myself (even though some of the actual artists were kinda questionable; the Coldplay CDs in the gift bags last week were sort of an eyeroller, e.g.). So it is something they’ve continued to do, but they haven’t called as much attention to it? Help me out here. ---
**Author:** ![Judith\_Prietht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b19c9b/32.png) [@Judith\_Prietht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Judith_Prietht)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-4-13-the-pilot/239881/11 "2004-04-14T17:36:52Z")
I believe in the Tom episode (with the girlfriend with the hooker boots) Blair went out and bought him a shitload of CDs to try and update his taste in music from metal to something more contemporary. But try as I might I can’t remember anything specific Blair chose for him. I’m so glad they opted not to include the straight woman commenting at the loft; she didn’t seem to have anything of value to contribute, and if I can’t have that job myself than no one else should. ---
**Author:** ![moi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@moi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moi)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-4-13-the-pilot/239881/12 "2004-04-14T21:38:35Z")
Here, here, **Judith**. The straight chick was really an odd idea, and it came across in the pilot that it just didn’t work. I guess someone originally thought the show wouldn’t fly without some cleavage? ---
**Author:** ![moi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@moi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moi)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-4-13-the-pilot/239881/13 "2004-04-14T22:23:02Z")
Oooh, we lasses may yet have our day. According to [this article](http://www.planetout.com/news/article.html?2004/04/08/2), a “Queer Eye for the Straight Girl,” set in LA, is in the works; it will debut in early 2005. Sorry if this is a hijack, **Otto** , but I didn’t think we needed two QEftSG threads going. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2004, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-4-13-the-pilot/239881/14 "2004-04-14T22:57:05Z")
> [@moi](#): > > I guess someone originally thought the show wouldn’t fly without some cleavage? I think they were going for the “fag hag” vibe but it didn’t really fly; the boys can fill the screen on their own. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2004, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-4-13-the-pilot/239881/15 "2004-04-15T01:40:35Z")
> [@yellowval](#): > > **JRDelirious** , who’s Blair? Culture Maven #2 ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2004, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-4-13-the-pilot/239881/16 "2004-04-15T07:33:01Z")
> [@moi](#): > > Oooh, we lasses may yet have our day. According to [this article](http://www.planetout.com/news/article.html?2004/04/08/2), a “Queer Eye for the Straight Girl,” set in LA, is in the works; it will debut in early 2005. > > Sorry if this is a hijack, **Otto** , but I didn’t think we needed two QEftSG threads going. 😉 Thank goodness! I’ve always felt I could use a little advice myself from those guys. They’d be much kinder to my “I’m not fat anymore, how do I get girly?” self than the folks at “What Not to Wear”. Sometimes I get more in the way of fashion and ‘product’ tips out of Queer Eye than my brother does!