# "Queer Eye" 7/29 - John **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 30, 2003, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-7-29-john/191790 "2003-07-30T00:40:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-7-29-john/191790/1 "2003-07-30T00:40:57Z")
> [@](#): > > Name: John B. > Age: 24 > Height: 6’ > Weight: 175 lbs > Status: In A Relationship > Occupation: Various > Category: Urban Cowboy > Location: Jersey City, NJ > Event: Marriage Proposal > > John has a vast and varied background. He is currently a part time contractor and car transport driver, but at various times has also been a plumber, an elevator technician, a fireman, a carpenter, a short order cook, an EMT, a Navy Seal cadet and a stripper. While he has learned a lot in those various occupations, he has a bit of catching up to do in the fields of style and design. A true cowboy who fancies his jeans and big black hat, John is ready to make some major changes including asking Tina, his New York City girlfriend of two years, to become his wife. The Fab Five’s mission: give this handsome farm boy a more sophisticated style so he can engineer a romantic, sophisticated, quintessential New York wedding proposal. > > PROBLEM AREAS > > …his everyday attire is limited to boots, jeans, t-shirts (black, naturally) and his hat. > …his apartment is nice but bare, lacking in personality as well as furniture. > …likes his hair gel, but finds it leaves a messy ring inside his hat. > …studied at cooking school and worked in his grandmother’s diner, but his “meat and potatoes” menu is short on variety. > …is worried that he lacks the etiquette and style to pull off a formal proposal. > > “Our relationship is ‘big dreams’ and ‘little wallet.’” — His Girlfriend Tina What new fashion, grooming, decorating, cooking and cultural disasters are in store? ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-7-29-john/191790/2 "2003-07-30T02:07:06Z")
“everything feels better in cashmere.” soooooo, true! ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-7-29-john/191790/3 "2003-07-30T02:10:41Z")
Amy Sedaris!! _That’s_ who Carson reminds me of–it’s been driving mne crazy! ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-7-29-john/191790/4 "2003-07-30T03:03:08Z")
great show tonight. wow! macy elf’s sister? ---
**Author:** ![lindarielle13](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3bc359/32.png) [@lindarielle13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindarielle13)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-7-29-john/191790/5 "2003-07-30T04:54:02Z")
I absolutely loved the show tonight! John was a pretty nice looking guy, and Kyan looked HOT in the cowboy hat. Yes, Otto, I know he’s yours. He wouldn’t be interested in me anyway. The best line from the show was when John and Kyan were both saying how people said they looked like Keanu Reeves, and Carson said “And people say I look like Ellen DeGeneres.” I crakced up. Man, this show rocks! ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-7-29-john/191790/6 "2003-07-30T05:10:44Z")
Great show! I find I learn a little something every time I watch. ---
**Author:** ![Caesar\_s\_Ghost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/73ab20/32.png) [@Caesar\_s\_Ghost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caesar_s_Ghost)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-7-29-john/191790/7 "2003-07-30T06:28:47Z")
I loved this show. I was so happy that his girlfriend said yes; she really looked as if she were about to say no, as the guys pointed out afterwards. Jai is really cool as well; he seemed more “there” than Blair. Doing more stuff, with the group more often, you know. Yay 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-7-29-john/191790/8 "2003-07-30T06:38:39Z")
I saw two episodes (well, one and a half) tonight. I caught the end of the episode about the long-haired guy who wanted his girlfriend to move in with him, and then stuck around for John the Urban Cowboy and his girlfriend (soon to be wife) Tina. This show is the _best._ I am officially hooked. I love the Fab 5 and the guys they get for the “makeovers” always seem to be really likeable people. ---
**Author:** ![AmericanMaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@AmericanMaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AmericanMaid)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-7-29-john/191790/9 "2003-07-30T12:23:12Z")
This episode made me so happy it’s ridiculous. I am continually impressed with Thom’s work on the apartments. The poor guy’s a workhorse! Part of my brain understands that the show is just one big long product placement but the other parts of my brain don’t care because it’s so much fun. The visit to the chocolatier made me drool like Homer Simpson. I thought when they talked about chocolate boxes, it would be like cardboard Lindt boxes. But boxes actually made out of chocolate are yummier. John was a pretty hip straight guy. He had the manners, the romance, and the looks. Does he have a brother? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-7-29-john/191790/10 "2003-07-30T12:55:20Z")
This ep seemed somehow less substantial to me. Each of the other three victims all had some serious issues that needed to be made over. Atrocious hair, disgustingly sloppy houses and the like. John seemed just to need a little tweaking (heh) of the very solid raw material that was already there. Which other of the victims would have had time for a leisurely lunch? I knew she was going to say yes but the nervousness of John and the Fab 5 started getting to me. My favorite moment had to be right at the end, when my sweet sweet Kyan was draped in a towel. \ ---
**Author:** ![annieclaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b5a626/32.png) [@annieclaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/annieclaus)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-7-29-john/191790/11 "2003-07-30T13:00:11Z")
I loved this episode, too! But I was not enthralled with the lovely Tina. She looks like she could eat poor sweet John alive and then spit him out like something nasty! He deserves better! (He deserves Kyan) ---
**Author:** ![DeskMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f14d63/32.png) [@DeskMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeskMonkey)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-7-29-john/191790/12 "2003-07-30T13:08:12Z")
Last night’s episode actually made my husband feel really bad about not proposing in a more special way. He felt bad because he never pampers me like this guy seemed to want to do with his gal. The Fab 5 were all so impressed with what a thoughtful, sensetive guy John is and he knew that the Fab 5 would never approve of him so highly and dammit, it just made him feel guily. I LOVE this show! _evil grin_ ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-7-29-john/191790/13 "2003-07-30T14:35:09Z")
Kyan: Yas kazidim kazi! (Actually, my reference books give the translation as “Yes kez si’rumem”.) ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-7-29-john/191790/14 "2003-07-30T15:07:32Z")
Was it just my imagination or was there some sexual sparks between John and Kyan. When they were in the bathroom together, standing close enough to kiss, I was getting light headed. As HOT as Kyan is, I am developing a serious crush on Thom. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-7-29-john/191790/15 "2003-07-30T15:40:36Z")
Despite all the _Casablanca_ shout-outs, I doubt Ingrid Bergman would have brayed, “Holy _shit_—is this for _me?!_” when Humphrey Bogart led her into the back yard. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-7-29-john/191790/16 "2003-07-30T17:06:05Z")
Could have been worse. Imagine if they’d taken the “hooker from Trenton” into the tent. “This is so f_ckin’ elegant! It’s just sheer g_ddam classy! Let’s do it…” ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-7-29-john/191790/17 "2003-07-30T18:52:48Z")
Thom is definitely my favorite. He totally cracks me up. Last night when he was looking at the stick-on stained glass and says…“I mean…!!!” And then Ted (who looks exactly like a gay friend of mine named Ted) says “Dear Lord, please get rid of these windows.” And then later when Thom said “This room looks like a big white box.” So a few minutes later he asked the guy why he liked those mirrors and he said “Because it makes it look bigger.” The look on Thom’s face was hilarious. “Uh…OK!” ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-7-29-john/191790/18 "2003-07-30T19:30:47Z")
They _all_ crack me up. Best makeover show _ever._ ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-7-29-john/191790/19 "2003-07-30T21:58:29Z")
i’m with gobear, i learn a little something with every show. last night i learned ted’s ladder trick. i have filed that one. very smooth move. i figure john was a bit too nervous to try it out with tina right away. perhaps he will remember it when the cameras aren’t around. i was a bit concerned that he might have to propose in an er when she climbed up the ladder. ---
**Author:** ![SmackFu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/53a042/32.png) [@SmackFu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmackFu)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-7-29-john/191790/20 "2003-07-31T02:31:25Z")
The makeover part of this one was no big deal. He didn’t even get a new haircut! But the apartment was quite nice, and I was grinning through the whole proposal, so it evens out. Plus all the funny haha. And another thing I learned: they run gay chat line ads during the later rerun. Don’t see that too often. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-7-29-john/191790.md?page=2)