# Queer Eye 8/19 - John V **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 19, 2003, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-8-19-john-v/196270 "2003-08-19T20:09:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-8-19-john-v/196270/21 "2003-08-20T15:05:55Z")
[quoute]I’m still not sure that Thad(?), the cook, is in stride at this point. It just doesn’t seem to work very well. I assume there is more involved than they show, they must leave detailed directions, but to give a man who by everyone’s admission cannot cook a meal like the “Man Quiche” to prepare seemed just… well, a disaster waiting to happen. Perhaps it makes for more interesting t.v. but it doesn’t seem to provide any real help. [/quote] It’s Ted. Someone called him “Thad” last night for some reason. The recipe didn’t seem that complicated. Boil some pasta, stir-fry some vegetables, whip some eggs and cream, mix and bake. John didn’t seem to have a problem making it. It was the transporting it from one container to another that caused the breakdown. I want the damn theme song! What’s it called and where do I get it? ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-8-19-john-v/196270/22 "2003-08-20T15:34:25Z")
John V. is such an unattractive, dull-witted ninny that I seriously have to question his girlfriend’s judgment. If John had depth, wit, or some interesting element to his personality, I could see the two of them together, but she is way too fine for his insecure, needy, whiny ass. And I’m afraid last night’s intervention only demontrated that that one does not turn a sow’s ear into a silk purse by dressing it in a Kangol hat. And I’m really wondering about Carson’s fashion sense. Hip-hop clothes? Um, did we time travel back to 1996? That ensemble wasn’t dope, it was just dopey. And Kyan in his briefs. . . oh. . my. . . That man is too gorgeous! Not only does he have the perfect body (just muscular enough, but not too much so; just hairy enough but not too much so), but he’s masculine, charming, engaging, intelligent, and utterly perfect in every way. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-8-19-john-v/196270/23 "2003-08-20T15:53:11Z")
**Judith** , I’m convinced they trash up the domiciles beforehand just to make good TV. **gobear** , I thought they were poking fun at Staten Island fashion - bet Carson was laughing his ass off at the bridge-and-tunnel crowd off-camera. My favorite line? Newly-created Sensitive New-Age Guy commenting on how In It For TV Exposure GF’s clothes “accentuated her boobages.” ---
**Author:** ![MeanJoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanjoe/32/5693_2.png) [@MeanJoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanJoe)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-8-19-john-v/196270/24 "2003-08-20T16:55:38Z")
**ElvisL1ves** - Speaking as a straight guy. If a.) She was my girlfriend and b.) knowing that going along with the Fab 5 would result in a romantic evenning where I’d get to see/play with/google over said forward facing assets then I too would have resorted to da drooling “boobages” comment too. Good Gawd! ---
**Author:** ![DeskMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f14d63/32.png) [@DeskMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeskMonkey)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-8-19-john-v/196270/25 "2003-08-20T17:07:31Z")
That guy was an idiot. Plain and simple. Maybe he’s a 10-year-old who, through wacky circumstances, was switched into an grown man’s body. I was waiting for him to scream “Cooties!” every time one of the guys touched him. Ass. They loved the girlfriend and I think they just wanted to hang out with her all day. She seems like she would have been perfectly happy to have them instead of the dufus. They should have collectively kicked his whiny, pathetic ass to the curb. I really hated this guy. And as soon as the Fab 5 left, he became even more unbearable, hopping around and talking to her in that high-pitched, childish way. Ugh! He’s just the worst. I hate those overtly “tough but sensitive” types because they are usually neither. They usually don’t have the first clue how to treat people, especially women. Have I mentioned how much I despise this guy? I think the Fab 5 did, too. They were completely underwhelmed by his greeting, his revulsion to their touch, and the utter incomprehensibility of his relationship with a freaking gorgeous, sassy model. But there were some great moments. They’re getting pretty loose with the jokes and I’m loving it! And Kyan in undies . . . well. Kyan was in undies. _~sighhh~_ ---
**Author:** ![Interrobang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/interrobang/32/17463_2.png) [@Interrobang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interrobang)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-8-19-john-v/196270/26 "2003-08-20T17:35:33Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m convinced they trash up the domiciles beforehand just to make good TV. I doubt it, only because I’ve seen plenty of guy apartments that are on par with what we’ve seen on the show so far. Most of those apartments weren’t mine, either. Good episode. And quit slagging Ted – he’s my favorite. I think that most of the guys, when they aren’t busy imparting knowledge from their area of expertise, help with (or at least give feedback for) some of the bigger projects like domicile and wardrobe rehabilitation. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-8-19-john-v/196270/27 "2003-08-20T17:38:13Z")
**MeanJoe** , as a straight (married long term) guy myself, I know better than to always actually _say_ what I’m thinking to a woman. The tanning place had loaner bikini briefs? Yecchh. And those oversized, sagging pouches in front … you gals/gays really liked those? ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-8-19-john-v/196270/28 "2003-08-20T17:43:55Z")
**Interrobang** , yeah, but these are guy apartments where _wimmenfolk_ either spend a lot of time or actually live in, too. I’ve seen sloppy female abodes, but not very many. Ted is Iron Queer - Cuisine, Thom is Iron Queer - Decorating. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-8-19-john-v/196270/29 "2003-08-20T17:43:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gobear \* > \*\*And Kyan in his briefs. . . oh. . my. . . That man is too gorgeous! Not only does he have the perfect body (just muscular enough, but not too much so; just hairy enough but not too much so), but he’s masculine, charming, engaging, intelligent, and utterly perfect in every way. \*\* Which is ironic, because in the _Advocate_ interview (link above), he refers to himself as Nellie. I honestly don’t think you would know he was gay if he were on BOY MEETS BOY instead of QUEER EYE. The cop reminds me of a cartoon character from a Bugs Bunny cartoon I saw back during the last Ice Age. I can’t remember the character’s name, but he was a mobster and Bugs did a “This is Your Life” parody with him; when asked where he was born he replied “Oh I don’t know, I was pretty young then”. It’s both the voice and the baldness. So, do you think that was a cylinder of styling gel in his briefs of was Kyan just happy to be on a hit show? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-8-19-john-v/196270/30 "2003-08-20T17:59:17Z")
> [@](#): > > The tanning place had loaner bikini briefs? Yecchh. And those oversized, sagging pouches in front … you gals/gays really liked those? They aren’t loaners, they’re disposable. And it’s not the saggy pouch, it’s the mystery and intrigue therein… ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-8-19-john-v/196270/31 "2003-08-20T18:13:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DeskMonkey \* > \*\*And as soon as the Fab 5 left, he became even more unbearable, hopping around and talking to her in that high-pitched, childish way. Ugh! He’s just the worst. I hate those overtly “tough but sensitive” types because they are usually neither. They usually don’t have the first clue how to treat people, especially women. > > \*\* Her quote about not wanting to be his mother was quite telling in that regard as well. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-8-19-john-v/196270/32 "2003-08-20T18:16:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gobear \* > \*\*And Kyan in his briefs. . . oh. . my. . . That man is too gorgeous! Not only does he have the perfect body (just muscular enough, but not too much so; just hairy enough but not too much so), but he’s masculine, charming, engaging, intelligent, and utterly perfect in every way. \*\* Yet ironically, he considers himself nellie in the Advocate article. So do you think that was a cylinder of styling product in his bikini or is he just happy to be on a hit program? The cop reminds me a lot of a character from a Bugs Bunny cartoon from late in the last Ice Age. I can’t remember the name of the cartoon or the character’s name, but he was a gangster who spoke with a way out there accent that was almost identical to the one Mr. Clean last night used with his girlfriend (who so must have the self-esteem of a dying crack whore to be with him). ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-8-19-john-v/196270/33 "2003-08-20T19:42:14Z")
I also really disliked this straight guy. He was obviously a homophobe and did his “tough cop, don’t touch me” routine in front of them. I could not _believe_ his transformation into baby-talking little bouncy boy when she was around. And this guy is a cop??!! Holy Mother of God. And I too am getting damn sick of the same stupid Disaronno commercial. Ted even had the guy that proposed use Disaronno as his drink with the chocolates, which I found kinda suspicious. Gay guys - is this a hip, fashionable drink in your community? I’d never even _heard_ of it before I first saw the commercial, and there’s not too many brands of alcohol I’ve never heard of… ---
**Author:** ![DeskMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f14d63/32.png) [@DeskMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeskMonkey)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-8-19-john-v/196270/34 "2003-08-20T19:46:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elf6c \* > \*\*Her quote about not wanting to be his mother was quite telling in that regard as well. \*\* Yep. She didn’t have a whole lot of nice things to say about him. Why is she there? She doesn’t seem to really like him very much, she just kind of puts up with him. Maybe this is some sort of prison sentence. If she’s a shoplifter, I’d say that this is punishment at it’s fullest extent! Gawd, he’s just such an infantile ninny. And he has a gun! That he’s allowed to use!! ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-8-19-john-v/196270/35 "2003-08-20T19:53:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dooku \* > \*\*And I too am getting damn sick of the same stupid Disaronno commercial. Ted even had the guy that proposed use Disaronno as his drink with the chocolates, which I found kinda suspicious. Gay guys - is this a hip, fashionable drink in your community? I’d never even _heard_ of it before I first saw the commercial, and there’s not too many brands of alcohol I’ve never heard of… \*\* The show’s budget is derived from product placements. ---
**Author:** ![DeskMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f14d63/32.png) [@DeskMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeskMonkey)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-8-19-john-v/196270/36 "2003-08-20T20:01:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dooku \* > \*\* Gay guys - is this a hip, fashionable drink in your community? I’d never even _heard_ of it before I first saw the commercial, and there’s not too many brands of alcohol I’ve never heard of… \*\* Well, I’m not a gay guy, but Disaronno on the rocks is a personal favorite and was long before the annoying commercials. I could swear he says “sexual taste” but I think he’s saying “sensual taste”. Either way, it’s more like a glass of candy than a glass of sex, so I don’t know what the hell he’s talking about. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-8-19-john-v/196270/37 "2003-08-20T21:03:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JuanitaTech \* > \*\*The show’s budget is derived from product placements. \*\* I’m aware of that, but it seems to me that they should be recommending food/wine/furniture/whatever based on their expertise and personal taste, not b/c their recommendations have been sold to the highest bidder. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-8-19-john-v/196270/38 "2003-08-20T21:38:21Z")
Disaronno is a brand of Amaretto. You’ve heard of Amaretto, right? ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-8-19-john-v/196270/39 "2003-08-20T22:01:16Z")
I’ve heard of a few different kinds of Amaretto, (Romeo, Hyram Walker, Amaretto Amore?) just never Disaronno. ---
**Author:** ![Morgainelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Morgainelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgainelf)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-8-19-john-v/196270/40 "2003-08-21T00:41:27Z")
Yummm…Kyan Yummm…DiSaronno Yuck…John V. Yuck…DiSaronno commercial with lame-o bartender drooling over stupid ice licking model Carson’s comment about the fudge made me literally scream with laughter. But what’s up with his fashion judgement? Is he serious about the hat and wearing open shirts over wife-beater t-shirts? And flip flop sandals? Holy shit, what a trainwreck. It had to be parody. I want to hang out with Ted and Thom. And invite them over for dinner and decorating advice. And maybe a quick trip to the mall to shop for linens and tea. Then go out and do karaoke with Jai. Then kick him to the curb and have Kyan introduce me to his straight twin brother. Hmmmm. Next week’s sg looks like a Fabio wannabe. Did anyone else catch the “shrimping” reference? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-8-19-john-v/196270.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-8-19-john-v/196270.md?page=3)