# Queer eye for the straight crotch: bad male pube styling decisions (TMI TMI TMI!) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 1, 2003, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-for-the-straight-crotch-bad-male-pube-styling-decisions-tmi-tmi-tmi/210871 "2003-11-01T19:30:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2003, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-for-the-straight-crotch-bad-male-pube-styling-decisions-tmi-tmi-tmi/210871/41 "2003-11-03T15:25:08Z")
mmmmmmmmm… thick, bushy, curly pubic hair! Put me in the I like it wild and untamed camp. Nothing like performing fellatio and flossing at the same time! 😃 But I gotta agree with **scott evil** about the trimming. If yer gonna do it, make it look good. ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2003, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-for-the-straight-crotch-bad-male-pube-styling-decisions-tmi-tmi-tmi/210871/42 "2003-11-03T16:01:09Z")
I’m just thankful that he’s not reporting on a “comb-over” style! _shudder_ ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2003, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-for-the-straight-crotch-bad-male-pube-styling-decisions-tmi-tmi-tmi/210871/43 "2003-11-03T16:32:09Z")
Crotch topiaries? Sampson ---
**Author:** ![manwithaplan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f1d935/32.png) [@manwithaplan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manwithaplan)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2003, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-for-the-straight-crotch-bad-male-pube-styling-decisions-tmi-tmi-tmi/210871/44 "2003-11-03T16:56:03Z")
While I’m sure nobody’s remotely interested, my completely unmanicured willy has a touch of the Kenny Rogers about it. ---
**Author:** ![Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krisfer_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2003, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-for-the-straight-crotch-bad-male-pube-styling-decisions-tmi-tmi-tmi/210871/45 "2003-11-03T16:58:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by swampbear \* > \*\*mmmmmmmmm… thick, bushy, curly pubic hair! Put me in the I like it wild and untamed camp. Nothing like performing fellatio and flossing at the same time! 😃 > > \*\* Well that made me spit salad all over the computer… > [@](#): > > I’m just thankful that he’s not reporting on a “comb-over” style! OH MY HECK!😃 I had the wierdest dream last night about a guy with a combover… on the other head though. Well as far as nudity goes remember I AM in Utah after all. I used to use the changing rooms but they are never built BIG enough for me. Let’s face it I have my own urban sprawl thing going with my gym bag. And since I am fairly standard issue female I rather doubt I have anything the other ladies don’t have… just have it in greater or lesser amount. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2003, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-for-the-straight-crotch-bad-male-pube-styling-decisions-tmi-tmi-tmi/210871/46 "2003-11-03T21:38:52Z")
**scottevil** : > [@](#): > > Fine. Trim your pubes. Shave them off. If that’s what you and your girlfriend/boyfriend prefer, be my guest. It’s your body. Or leave them alone, and go for the classic look. (IMO, the way a full bush frames a package is very sexy. And I also believe if you’re getting hair in the back of your throat when performing fellatio, you’re not doing it quite right. I’ve never had a problem.) That’s exactly how I feel about the female parts and the shaving thereof. Rest of your OP being applicable as well. ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_Heart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Angel\_Heart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_Heart)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2003, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-for-the-straight-crotch-bad-male-pube-styling-decisions-tmi-tmi-tmi/210871/47 "2003-11-03T21:44:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by istara \* > \*\*Here, they wax the inside of the bum, around the anus. Nice. \*\* :eek: :eek: And I don’t like getting my eyebrows waxed! OT, being a woman, I just trim and keep the bikini line smooth (either shaving or Nair). No Brazilian bikini wax for me! ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-for-the-straight-crotch-bad-male-pube-styling-decisions-tmi-tmi-tmi/210871/48 "2003-11-04T01:48:12Z")
Damnit! I still don’t see an answer on “how to do it right” and NOT get hairs in your throat!! Look OP, snap to here huh?? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![scott\_evil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-for-the-straight-crotch-bad-male-pube-styling-decisions-tmi-tmi-tmi/210871/49 "2003-11-04T02:14:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CanvasShoes \* > \*\*Damnit! I still don’t see an answer on “how to do it right” and NOT get hairs in your throat!! > > Look OP, snap to here huh?? > > 😃 \*\* I’d love to, but in terms of maintaining the tone of the boards, this thread alone was pushing it… Mustn’t run afoul of the mods, you know. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![bettyspaghetti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/97f17d/32.png) [@bettyspaghetti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bettyspaghetti)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-for-the-straight-crotch-bad-male-pube-styling-decisions-tmi-tmi-tmi/210871/50 "2003-11-04T02:32:15Z")
Roving eye for moustache pie? Would that make your boyfriend jealous? This fascination of yours? God I bet I’ll see this as a sitcom topic on tv. That’s where they get their material from you know. This place, (where are we anyway? tonight?)wouldn’t you just love it? ---
**Author:** ![scott\_evil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2003, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-for-the-straight-crotch-bad-male-pube-styling-decisions-tmi-tmi-tmi/210871/51 "2003-11-04T11:39:13Z")
My boyfriend is well aware that I get quite the eyeful after my thrice-weekly workouts, and that I get a kick out of not only seeing hot boiz, but also observing male lockerroom sociology (I swear, I could write a dissertation). He doesn’t mind. We’re both sick and twisted, just in different ways. That’s why nothing is taboo at the **Pad of Evil®**. But it’s not like I come home and report back to him or anything. Imagine that: _{{ **scott** returns home, gym back slung over shoulder}}_ Hi, honey. Didja miss me today? **jeremy evil** (typing away on _his_ message board): Nope. **scott** : I had a great workout. I increased the load on the bench press and added a seated row to my routine. **jeremy** (still typing): That’s good. Hungry! Are you going to make dinner? **scott** : In a bit. Hey, there was this guy in the showers with this ridiculous pube 'do. It was shaped like an arrow pointing down towards his cock. And I’m pretty sure he was straight. Isn’t that retarded? Gay _or_ straight? **jeremy** : You’re such a perv. Oh, the phone bill came. Are we having steak tonight? **scott** : Yeah, you’ll be having steak… You’re gonna feast on _my tube steak_ like the dirty pig you are… \*{{The lighting changes; cue 70s porn music}} Boom chika wah chika wakka wakka… \* OK, that last part is realistic. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![scott\_evil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2003, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-for-the-straight-crotch-bad-male-pube-styling-decisions-tmi-tmi-tmi/210871/52 "2003-11-05T03:11:38Z")
No. This thread will not die. It’s my [birthday](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=221321) (of sorts). 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2003, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-for-the-straight-crotch-bad-male-pube-styling-decisions-tmi-tmi-tmi/210871/53 "2003-11-05T04:22:50Z")
[Anyone seen Dan Savage’s new column?](http://www.theonionavclub.com/3943/savage.html) And congrats on your anniversary, **scott**. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2003, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-for-the-straight-crotch-bad-male-pube-styling-decisions-tmi-tmi-tmi/210871/54 "2003-11-05T04:42:55Z")
**scott** : in your honor, I’m going to take a trial membership at a tonier gym. 😉 Congratulations. Nice job, man. ---
**Author:** ![HDS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/bb73d2/32.png) [@HDS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HDS)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2003, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-for-the-straight-crotch-bad-male-pube-styling-decisions-tmi-tmi-tmi/210871/55 "2003-11-05T11:21:45Z")
Oh yes, I saw the column. And kept my legs crossed the entire time after I read what that lady did. Just the idea…:eek: Did you see the one last week, though? With the guy who made a comment about the chocolate frosting? Bwaaaaaa! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2003, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-for-the-straight-crotch-bad-male-pube-styling-decisions-tmi-tmi-tmi/210871/56 "2003-11-05T11:37:39Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by scott evil \* > \*\* > **The landing strip.** > Obviously a take-off of the female equivalent: a vertical strip of well-groomed hair on the pubis, finger-width or wider. On a man, I can only think, “what for? Who’s going to land there?” And when the strip is more like a chunk - basically, just shaving off the left and right edges of the bush to transform it from triangular in shape to a square - I don’t see the point._\* POSSIBLE URBAN LEGEND: I’ve heard the origin of this was straight Japanese(? Asian, in any case) porn–they were showing very, _very_ young-looking girls, and they were made up to look even younger (shaved pubes helped the illusion). Bleh. Apparently the landing strip was a concession to show that the girls were _at least_ post-pubescent and to prevent possible legal troubles. I got no cites, no documentation, only the word of a friend of a friend, so take this for what it’s worth. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![scott\_evil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2003, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-for-the-straight-crotch-bad-male-pube-styling-decisions-tmi-tmi-tmi/210871/57 "2003-11-05T11:52:36Z")
Yes, but **Fenris** , a landing strip on a _guy_? Who’s presumably not trying to pass as pre-pubescent in a porn flick, because the rest of him doesn’t look it at all? _Why would a guy want a vertical stripe of pubic hair going from his dick to his happy trail? It looks like there’s a line going down the entire front of the body. Is it to indicate which half is which? Where to slice? Which side to color in?_ What irritates me is this: untouched body hair under the arms, on the chest, on the legs… but _groomed pubes_. It’s inconsistent. It just screams, “I get fellated! Look at me! I get laid! Cuz otherwise I wouldn’t shave my pubes! See? I get _laid!_” :rolleyes: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2003, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-for-the-straight-crotch-bad-male-pube-styling-decisions-tmi-tmi-tmi/210871/58 "2003-11-05T12:08:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by scott evil \* > \*\*Yes, but **Fenris** , a landing strip on a _guy_? Who’s presumably not trying to pass as pre-pubescent in a porn flick, because the rest of him doesn’t look it at all? 😃 \*\* A bit from **Bloom County** comes to mind: “Penguin lust is natural and normal and people who don’t think so are just old prudes!” _“Well, yes. Thank you for your opinion. But our topic today is “Nun Beating””_ “Well good lord, man! I can’t support _that_!” 😃 Frankly, I have no idea why anyone (male or female) would want to let a razor blade (!!!) anywhere near their genitals at all, let alone doing a partial job of it. The thought of a razor-burned scrotum is enough to make me protectively cover the family jewels and cringe. ---
**Author:** ![scott\_evil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2003, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-for-the-straight-crotch-bad-male-pube-styling-decisions-tmi-tmi-tmi/210871/59 "2003-11-05T12:20:28Z")
Two thoughts before I leave for work: 1. From now on, _ **lieu** : poop threads :: **scott** : pube threads._ 2. I’m surprised no one - especially my fans - has asked me what _I’ve_ currently got going on down below. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2003, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-for-the-straight-crotch-bad-male-pube-styling-decisions-tmi-tmi-tmi/210871/60 "2003-11-05T14:52:07Z")
We didn’t ask because you already told us about Simon’s new 'do a couple of weeks ago. It can’t have grown out _that_ much yet. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-for-the-straight-crotch-bad-male-pube-styling-decisions-tmi-tmi-tmi/210871.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/queer-eye-for-the-straight-crotch-bad-male-pube-styling-decisions-tmi-tmi-tmi/210871.md?page=4)