# Question about blood donating **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [March 16, 2005, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-blood-donating/294730 "2005-03-16T00:42:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-blood-donating/294730/21 "2005-03-17T13:59:59Z")
> [@Excalibre](#): > > So wait: you withdraw before ejaculation to avoid the possibility of giving your boyfriend HIV, \*\*which you couldn’t possibly have, him being your first sexual contact? \*\* Do you think you might have caught it from a toilet seat or something? Or is this more some weird psychological hangup about sex? [Bolding above was mine.] There are many ways to contract HIV without ever having any kind of sex. Jokes (I hope you are joking) about toilet seats and psychological hangups really aren’t helpful to persons who are wondering and/or scared about their status. > [@](#): > > I knew that already, but I also know that there’s a great deal more substance present at orgasm than before. True, but pulling out is NOT a safe or smart way to avoid getting or receiving the virus. You wouldn’t want to count on that, or think you are “safer” by doing so. ---
**Author:** ![Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/eada6e/32.png) [@Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_You_Big_Red_Fire_Engine)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-blood-donating/294730/22 "2005-03-17T14:48:30Z")
Hasn’t this all been discussed [here?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=307222) Just 1-2 days ago? ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-blood-donating/294730/23 "2005-03-17T22:24:42Z")
No, it’s more of a what if/let’s make sure thing. Re: this being discussed, my post was here first. So nyah. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-blood-donating/294730/24 "2005-03-17T23:30:47Z")
> [@missbunny](#): > > [There are many ways to contract HIV without ever having any kind of sex. Jokes (I hope you are joking) about toilet seats and psychological hangups really aren’t helpful to persons who are wondering and/or scared about their status. Many? I can think of about 4 and one of them involves having recently been in the womb. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-blood-donating/294730/25 "2005-03-17T23:38:42Z")
Blood, semen, breast milk, wombyness. I count 4 also. ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2005, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-blood-donating/294730/26 "2005-03-18T01:07:17Z")
That’s not what I meant by ways" to get it. “Blood, semen, breast milk” are fluids that carry the virus, not a “way” or action that you can do that might cause you to catch HIV. E.g., blood: you can get the virus through a blood transfusion or by sticking yourself with a hypo that contains infected blood or by working as an EMT and treating someone who is positive and who bleeds on your cut hand. That was the point of my response to Excalibre - he said that since the OP had only had the one sex partner (the one the OP was worried about infecting) that he could not possibly have the virus. That is patently untrue. There are many other “ways” to exchange bodily fluids without having sex. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@The\_Hook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hook)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2005, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-blood-donating/294730/27 "2005-03-18T01:21:17Z")
I have a question: It is my understanding that it takes up to 6 months after contracting the virus for it to be detected. What happens if you donate blood in your second month of having contracted HIV? Will the virus be visible? Will it still be there after storage? Does it pose a threat? Can the virus go undetected? ---
**Author:** ![cAmdEn\_tOwn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@cAmdEn\_tOwn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cAmdEn_tOwn)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2005, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-blood-donating/294730/28 "2005-03-18T01:37:13Z")
It is my understanding, at least in the UK, that if you have ever had any sexualy contact (penetration, oral) with another man (that is male homosexual) with or without a condom, you cannot donate blood at all. Same as if you have had sex with prostitutes, or non-prescription intravenious drug users. And I believe they also prevent donations from anyone who has had sex with anyone who has had sex with anyone in the catagories above (sorry for the confusion) for a year, presumably to cater for the incubation period. Also I just have to agree with some other users, easy e and cynicalgabe, that the blood service should NEVER be used for HIV testing. At any rate, its no more effort to get tested, in the UK it is free anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bambi_Hassenpfeffer)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2005, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-blood-donating/294730/29 "2005-03-18T01:48:00Z")
> [@chaoticdonkey](#): > > Ok, ok! Tomorrow morning, HIV test. > > (Actually, if anyone wants to know why, I’m fine with it. I’ll spoiler it because it’s kind of ooky.) Good thing you got the HIV test. Get another in six months. However, I’d like to point out that what you did in your spoiler renders you banned from blood donation for the rest of your life under current FDA standards. Any man who has had any sexual contact with another man, even once, any time since 1977 is forbidden to donate blood. As backward and ignorant as I think the standard is, that’s how it currently stands. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2005, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-blood-donating/294730/30 "2005-03-18T01:57:25Z")
> [@missbunny](#): > > [Bolding above was mine.] There are many ways to contract HIV without ever having any kind of sex. Jokes (I hope you are joking) about toilet seats and psychological hangups really aren’t helpful to persons who are wondering and/or scared about their status. If he has HIV, which as you’ve pointed out, is not impossible, he’s not doing anything to protect his boyfriend. If not (as, you must admit, is the only significant possibility), his precautions are needless. Either way, it’s gotta make the sex a lot less fun. Irrational rules to make sex less fun? Religion and/or crazy psychological hangups are usually behind that sort of thing. Look, I support safer sex, and I think it’s vitally important that HIV be dealt with properly. I am well aware that it is quite common among gay men in Western nations, and that new infection rates are rising again (being young and gay, this is something I _have_ to know about.) But I’m also pragmatic. Which means that I hate the black-and-white messages being pushed by many safer sex advocates. Some populations are at a higher risk, and some are at a lower risk. Some behaviors are high risk, and some are low risk. To lump them all together and pretend that the risk that **chaoticdonkey** is taking by coming in his boyfriend’s mouth is even significant, much less comparable to (and thus deserving of the sorts of precautions) taken by people barebacking anonymously is ridiculous and unhelpful. These messages we keep hearing have the terrible effect of making it seem like celibacy is the only option to avoid HIV. The one-in-a-billion (probably less) chance that **chaoticdonkey** is taking if he comes in his boyfriend’s mouth is not a legitimate thing to fear. When we get told over and over not to have sex unless we’re wrapped in bubble wrap and in separate rooms, the message stops working. Why do you think infection rates are rising? Studies have shown that there’s a sort of fatigue developing - people are tired of being told they’re going to die. Telling folks that **ALL SEX IS EVIL AND DANGEROUS AND WILL KILL YOU** leads to a hopelessness that makes adequate safety measures even less likely. Besides knowing some about the risk of HIV infection, I’m also aware of the psychological hangups that a lot of queer people have around sex, and that’s what this looks like to me. There is _no justification for this fear_ and that makes me wonder if the OP’s actions are motivated by something else. Compounding that with **ALL SEX IS EVIL AND DANGEROUS AND WILL KILL YOU** is not helping; many people think that the prominence of crystal meth addiction (and the subsequent health problems, not least of which the risks of unsafer sex) is related to the shame and fear related to being gay. It’s not hard to imagine that the safer sex messages commonly being heard are helping those problems along. I understand that this isn’t the goal of the safer sex movement, but there are a lot of unrealistic beliefs about the risks of sex held by advocates. I think a lot more could be done by talking to the public as if we were adults; people take risks _continuously, in every aspect of their lives_ and being given the information needed to choose intelligently is a good thing. Sorry, **missbunny** I know this rant is a little bit out of proportion to the situation at hand, and I know you mean well and most of this is not really applicable to what you just said. I just have a lot of strong feelings about this issue, and I think a rational discussion of risky behavior is long, long overdue. There’s a huge problem in the gay community nowadays - there’s no excuse for new infections to be rising, and new steps have to be taken. The old messages aren’t working (and likely never worked - AIDS has been around for a generation, and young gay people today no longer know people who died of it, while during the 80s everyone lost friends to it.) Like I said, I’m a pragmatist, and I think we should be spreading realistic messages promoting reasonable behavior, not demanding perfect behavior. Again, please don’t think I mean to say you’ve been pushing the anti-sex agenda; it’s just something I really worry about. ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2005, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-blood-donating/294730/31 "2005-03-18T02:10:42Z")
I am definitely not pushing an anti-sex agenda! I am very very pro sex among consenting adults. I simply disagreed with your statement that he could not possibly have the virus because he had never had sex, and I didn’t think telling someone who is concerned about his status, testing, and methods of transmission that he “might have a hangup” if he’s so worried about it. He might have major gigantic hangups, but in my opinion this thread wasn’t the thread in which to point that out. I agree that the chances that he has HIV and the further chances that he transmitted it are very small. I just don’t think that making someone in any way feel that he might be over-reacting - if that’s going to make him say, Oh screw this whole testing business, I don’t need it - is a good idea. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-blood-donating/294730/32 "2005-03-29T20:55:01Z")
And the results…? I don’t have HIV or syphillis! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-blood-donating/294730/33 "2005-03-29T22:10:57Z")
Congrats. Always good to be healthy. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-blood-donating/294730/34 "2005-03-29T22:24:02Z")
> [@chaoticdonkey](#): > > And the results…? > > I don’t have HIV or syphillis! 🆒 Great! Now go have sex. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-blood-donating/294730/35 "2005-03-29T22:37:08Z")
> [@AngelicGemma](#): > > Great! > > Now go have sex. 😉 Friday. Have to wait until Friday. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-blood-donating/294730/36 "2005-03-29T22:39:24Z")
> [@chaoticdonkey](#): > > Friday. Have to wait until Friday. What about your chlamydia, hepatitis B, herpes, and gonorrhea checks? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Flander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2005, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-blood-donating/294730/37 "2005-03-29T23:15:20Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > What about your chlamydia, hepatitis B, herpes, and gonorrhea checks? > > :eek: He’s still studying for those tests. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2005, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-blood-donating/294730/38 "2005-03-31T09:56:33Z")
Donate bone marrow. I got checked for HIV, Hep B, Syphilis… I just wish a had a certificate for them, to show to all of my friends. ---
**Author:** ![Fromage\_A\_Trois](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e57/32.png) [@Fromage\_A\_Trois](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fromage_A_Trois)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2005, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-blood-donating/294730/39 "2005-03-31T13:32:55Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > Donate bone marrow. I got checked for HIV, Hep B, Syphilis… > > I just wish a had a certificate for them, to show to all of my friends. Why, do your friends suspect you of being a venereal disease hotspot? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Fromage\_A\_Trois](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e57/32.png) [@Fromage\_A\_Trois](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fromage_A_Trois)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2005, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-blood-donating/294730/40 "2005-03-31T13:34:55Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > Donate bone marrow. Joking aside, well done for donating bone marrow, I understand it’s a very long process of checking suitability etc, and not something to do lightly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-blood-donating/294730.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-blood-donating/294730.md?page=3)