# Question about etiquette **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [May 31, 2005, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-etiquette/306183 "2005-05-31T04:24:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Nightowl22](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Nightowl22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightowl22)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-etiquette/306183/1 "2005-05-31T04:24:40Z")
I have a question regarding manners. Today when I went to work, as I stepped into the room that I work in, I was immediatly greated by a few of my coworkers who were in the room. There were a total of five people in the room, two out of the five greated me and I greated them back. The other three were on the telephone and were busy so they didn’t acknowledge me and I didn’t acknowledge them either because they were busy. A few minutes later, one of my coworkers who I didn’t acknowledge turned to me and said, “It would have been nice for you to say hi to me and everyone else!” to which I said, “Well, you didn’t say hi to me!” She then said, “You’re the one who is supposed to say ‘hi’ to everyone!” My question is: when walking into a room full of people, is the person who is entering the room responsible for greeting the people in the room or are the people who are in the room responsible for greeting the person who is entering? ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_On\_My\_Sleeve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/77aa72/32.png) [@Heart\_On\_My\_Sleeve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_On_My_Sleeve)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-etiquette/306183/2 "2005-05-31T04:38:45Z")
Well, this is just my opinion, but I would think that the people already in the room have more duty to “welcome” you into the group than you have. However, in situations where one might be busy, it might as well be the person who is more able. Of course, you don’t want to interrupt when they’re on the phone. The larger the group, I think, reduces the chances that _everyone_ can say “hi”. So I don’t really think you were in the wrong and it was kind of silly for that person to say what she did at all. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-etiquette/306183/3 "2005-05-31T05:16:47Z")
With groups it’s often safest to just to the “hey everybody” wave, so you neither miss somebody nor awkwardly greet somebody who was actually, say, talking on the phone. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-etiquette/306183/4 "2005-05-31T05:21:26Z")
I grew up in the rural south where we could teach the samurai and the bedouins a thing or five about ritualized courtesy (though we’d do it quietly in private with a smile). If there’s not a hostess to make introductions then I think it really can go either way, but I think the greatest assault on etiquette by far was your co-worker complaining about your “breach of etiquette”- that’s just rude. (I usually acknowledge co-workers with a nod or smile if I pass them by and don’t have time or the inclination to talk; if I’m really busy I might not acknowledge them at all but they’re adult enough not to mention it as they do the same thing.) ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-etiquette/306183/5 "2005-05-31T15:49:12Z")
The Onion answers all my [etiquette](http://www.theonion.com/opinion/index.php?issue=4120) questions. (May not be work safe … contains words describing sexual acts. No photos, though. ☹ ) ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-etiquette/306183/6 "2005-05-31T16:15:08Z")
The Etiquette Grrls, now sadly defunct, handled a question like this. I am reproducing the whole of the Q&A, because it is short, and because the website is no longer online. Mods, if this exceeds fair use, feel free to delete it. ([Google Cache](http://64.233.161.104/search?q=cache:3fBSRwLFeQcJ:www.etiquettegrrls.com/pages/qaarch_december01.html+miss+manners+%22say+hello+first%22&hl=en&client=firefox-a)) > [@](#): > > Dear Etiquette Grrls, > > Who should say hello first, someone entering a room or the person who is already in the room? > > Obsessed About This Issue > > Dear Obsessed About This Issue, > > Okay, FINE, the EGs Give Up. The EGs have been Entirely Perplexed at the number of times This Question, or a Variant Thereof, has been submitted in Recent Weeks. We have a mental image of two Desperate Souls, standing Silently in the Same Room, Endlessly Staring at Each Other, pausing only to e-mail the EGs every Five Minutes. This situation bodes Quite Poorly for Your Social Lives, Dear Perplexed Readers! Just say hello, already! No matter WHICH person you are! There are More Important Things for you to Worry Your Pretty Little Heads About! > > This has been the EGs’ Good Deed of The Day. > > Sincerely yours, > The Etiquette Grrls And I second **Sampiro’s** comment that your coworker was unmistakably rude to chide you. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-etiquette/306183/7 "2005-05-31T17:56:17Z")
Being ever the practical one, when I enter the room I say, “Howdy, folks” (or “hi, all” or “greetings, everyone” or whatever). Thus everyone has been greeted and nobody slighted. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-etiquette/306183/8 "2005-05-31T18:23:22Z")
Your co-worker’s upset because you didn’t interrupt her phone call? Whenever you walk into the room while she’s on the phone, get in her face, wave your hands, and shout hello until she pauses her conversation to greet you. A good method for avoiding rude commentary on your conduct is to sharpen very large knives at your desk. This suggestion comes directly from Miss Manners.\* I can’t imagine why someone would become upset that their phone call _wasn’t_ interrupted just because you walked in. \*Okay, that’s a lie.