# Question about gay lifestyle **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 22, 2022, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-gay-lifestyle/973633 "2022-10-22T14:59:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2022, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-gay-lifestyle/973633/21 "2022-10-23T02:03:23Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > I only started hearing about the pronoun thing in the past few months, I really haven’t given it enough thought or spent enough time dealing with it to totally understand what it is all about It’s about gender identity, not about sexual orientation (which are two different things). > [@](#): > > Gender identity is your own, internal, personal sense of being a man or a woman (or as someone outside of that gender binary). > > Sexual orientation describes a person’s enduring physical, romantic, and/or emotional attraction to another person (for example: straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual). Where the “pronoun thing” has happened, especially in the past few years, has primarily been with people who don’t strictly (or exclusively) identify as “male” or “female,” and who feel that using “he” or “she” in addressing them doesn’t reflect what their gender is. [https://www.glaad.org/how-sexual-orientation-different-gender-identity](https://www.glaad.org/how-sexual-orientation-different-gender-identity) ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2022, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-gay-lifestyle/973633/22 "2022-10-23T02:10:06Z")
> [@Ann\_Hedonia](#): > > Do you really want to live in a world where everybody talks like that? That’s why we need pronouns. [Albert Andreas Armadillo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koZFca8AkT0&ab_channel=dawemmy) would agree. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2022, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-gay-lifestyle/973633/23 "2022-10-23T02:10:58Z")
> [@saje](#): > > Why does it matter? This seems an odd question to ask on this board. The answer is, “because it is a hallmark of the SDMB to raise and discuss speculative questions that ‘don’t matter’ much outside the context of the discussion itself.” ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2022, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-gay-lifestyle/973633/24 "2022-10-23T03:25:19Z")
But, do you really care how they identify? The OP IS basically challenging their “gayness” - in this day and age why the hell does it matter? It shouldn’t. They are just people living their lives. Butt the hell out. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2022, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-gay-lifestyle/973633/25 "2022-10-23T03:32:44Z")
Good fucking god, I think my brain exploded. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2022, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-gay-lifestyle/973633/26 "2022-10-23T14:48:42Z")
Do you know what a pronoun is? Didn’t you take high school English? ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2022, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-gay-lifestyle/973633/27 "2022-10-23T17:52:40Z")
I didn’t go to high school, but yes I do know what a pronoun is, I just wasn’t sure if somehow gay wasn’t being used as a pronoun. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2022, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-gay-lifestyle/973633/28 "2022-10-23T17:58:19Z")
So, just to be clear, you thought there were people out there saying things like, “Gay sure am hungry today. Tom, are gay hungry? Bob went to that new deli yesterday, and gay tells gay it’s really good. Gay have a really good pastrami.” Is that something you thought might be happening? ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2022, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-gay-lifestyle/973633/29 "2022-10-23T18:07:14Z")
> [@Ann\_Hedonia](#): > > Many gay men are attracted to beautiful women aesthetically, but not sexually. Although pretty straight I find the men in gay porn a lot more attractive than the men in hetero porn. Hell, they’re more attractive than a number of _women_ in hetero porn. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2022, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-gay-lifestyle/973633/30 "2022-10-23T18:23:02Z")
This doesn’t make sense to me. Can you explain what you mean by “pronoun”? It’s clear you don’t mean exactly the same thing as the part of speech (like “I,” “you,” “us,” etc.), but I don’t understand what. From the OP, I read “pronouns weren’t really discussed” as "people with penises were called “he,” people without were called “she,” but then you say “now the couples identify… as gay.” I’m a gay man, and I use the same pronouns as straight men do. There’s no separate system of pronouns that gay people use, though in the past gay men were often feminized against their will, and took to embracing that in the subculture (leading to drag etc.). But that was all performative: for the most part, gay men identified as masculine. (Edit: I mean “performative” in the anthropological sense, not the theatrical sense.) Transgender people are a separate issue, as has been stated. Some transgender people are ALSO gay, but that’s coincidental. It’s really important not to confuse anyone who deviates from the norm. LGBTQ etc. people identify together to support each other because we experience discrimination from the mainstream in similar ways, but we’re NOT (necessarily) the same. I’m G, but I’m not L, B, T, or Q (or I, or A). I stand with and support those who are, though! ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2022, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-gay-lifestyle/973633/31 "2022-10-23T18:25:48Z")
> [@Ann\_Hedonia](#): > > I’m really not sure why so many conservatives are suddenly treating a simple part of speech like it’s sand in their underpants, … Oh, I know this one! It’s because of bigotry. Or intolerance. _And_ intolerance, like a combo. ---
**Author:** ![Chingon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chingon/32/17645_2.png) [@Chingon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chingon)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2022, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-gay-lifestyle/973633/32 "2022-10-23T18:54:36Z")
Big Pronoun is out of control and now taking over other parts of speech. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2022, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-gay-lifestyle/973633/33 "2022-10-23T18:57:55Z")
Personally, I’m curious what exactly “Gay Lifestyle” is. I’m a heterosexual man. If I were gay, what changes would I have to make to my lifestyle? ---
**Author:** ![D\_Anconia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@D\_Anconia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Anconia)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2022, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-gay-lifestyle/973633/34 "2022-10-23T19:05:20Z")
Yes, what exactly is the gay lifestyle? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2022, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-gay-lifestyle/973633/35 "2022-10-23T19:14:28Z")
I hesitate to ask, in fact have hesitated to ask for years, because I don’t want to be insensitive. But since this thread is here, I’d like to ask about the ‘Gay accent’. I suspect the majority of homosexual males to not speak that way, but enough do that it is a stereotype. Is it an affectation? How and why did it become popular? A shibboleth? Apologies for any offence. I’m curious, but will drop it if asked. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2022, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-gay-lifestyle/973633/36 "2022-10-23T19:22:09Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > Personally, I’m curious what exactly “Gay Lifestyle” is. I think I have an answer for you–I recently started watching _Uncoupled_, with Neil Patrick Harris, produced by Darren Star and boy howdy there sure seems to be a gay lifestyle going on there. To be fair, though, it’s basically indistinguishable from the hetero lifestyles featured in _Sex And The City_ but by gum, they’re lifestyling the hell out of it over there! ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2022, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-gay-lifestyle/973633/37 "2022-10-23T19:44:54Z")
There’s a documentary on this Do I Sound Gay? . I very much want to see it but have no cable or streaming services. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2022, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-gay-lifestyle/973633/38 "2022-10-23T19:51:13Z")
Maybe slightly OT, but I had always heard that females accounted for ~51% of the population, and I always assumed that to be a flat number. But, when looking at a [graphical breakdown](http://www.comingofage.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/us-population-by-age-and-gender-20151.png), it looks like males outnumber females in the breeding-age brackets, and females do not take the majority until past age 40. Because of this, one could imagine an relative abundance of sexually frustated males, and if the Kinsey scale is anywhere close to reality, it is not difficult to imagine horny males resorting to alternative means of satisfying their primal urges. Especially if society starts moving away from its taboos. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2022, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-gay-lifestyle/973633/39 "2022-10-23T20:01:19Z")
And what about the anti-noun lobby? They are not covered at all by the main stream media. And then there are the adverbs, don’t get me started on adverbs. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2022, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-gay-lifestyle/973633/40 "2022-10-23T21:12:07Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > Because of this, one could imagine an relative abundance of sexually frustated males, and if the Kinsey scale is anywhere close to reality, it is not difficult to imagine horny males resorting to alternative means of satisfying their primal urges. Especially if society starts moving away from its taboos. It’s close enough the parity that I doubt that demographic differences are going to overcome in-born sexual preferences, outside of an extreme situation like prison. More likely they will find other outlets, porn, or prostitutes, or (shudder) join the Incel population. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-gay-lifestyle/973633.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-gay-lifestyle/973633.md?page=3)