# Question about homosexuals **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 25, 2009, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-homosexuals/511486 "2009-09-25T04:47:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![cainxinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@cainxinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cainxinth)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-homosexuals/511486/1 "2009-09-25T04:47:20Z")
It’s pretty well established that many heterosexuals are squeamish about depictions of homosexuality. Even something as simple as two men kissing can elicit a reaction. Is the reverse true as well? Do homosexuals report feeling uncomfortable seeing hetero acts? If so, that’s gotta be pretty tough. If you own a TV, watch movies, or pick up a magazine you’re pretty much inundated with images of heterosexuality. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-homosexuals/511486/2 "2009-09-25T05:23:21Z")
In my experience, gay men and lesbians are generally not at all squeamish about depictions of heterosexuality. The reason some heteros are squeamish is, for the most part, a result of long-run societal prejudices against homosexuality. I’m not saying it never happens among homosexuals, but i’d be willing to bet it’s a very small minority. I have known some gay men who roll their eyes at overt public displays of affection, but in most cases they feel the same whether the couple in question is gay or straight. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-homosexuals/511486/3 "2009-09-25T05:45:48Z")
In general, not very much . . . mainly because I’ve become desensitized to it because of its ubiquity; also because there’s no denying that it’s a totally natural occurrence . . . just not for me. But there are things, like cunnilingus, that I’d rather not think about. One thing, though, that sometimes creates some ambivalence: When I’m watching a hetero love scene, and the man is hot . . . I never know who to identify with. I can put myself in her place, being with him, yet I identify with him because I’m a man. I can feel my brain switching back and forth. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-homosexuals/511486/4 "2009-09-25T05:49:44Z")
The kissing etc, no it doesn’t make me squeamish. Lots of PDA I find annoying hetero or homo. Get a room already! ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-homosexuals/511486/5 "2009-09-25T05:52:22Z")
It’s probably because we’re just not used to seeing it. If we grew up exposed to movies and TV shows where there were both hetero and homosexual romances then we’d become desensitized to it, so to speak. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-homosexuals/511486/6 "2009-09-25T06:02:57Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > In my experience, gay men and lesbians are generally not at all squeamish about depictions of heterosexuality. The reason some heteros are squeamish is, for the most part, a result of long-run societal prejudices against homosexuality. I would also hasard that it’s a question of familiarity. Gays have had to grow up with manifestations of hetero sexuality right in their faces all their lives. Every film, TV series, beer commercial is packed to the brim with guy on girl smooching at the very least. By comparison, gay affection is a much more unusual sight to a straight person. ETA : dang ninjas. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-homosexuals/511486/7 "2009-09-25T06:07:06Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > One thing, though, that sometimes creates some ambivalence: When I’m watching a hetero love scene, and the man is hot . . . I never know who to identify with. I can put myself in her place, being with him, yet I identify with him because I’m a man. I can feel my brain switching back and forth. THat’s kinda cool and interesting. I never really thought about that aspect of the homosexual and male POV. ---
**Author:** ![boytyperanma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4491bb/32.png) [@boytyperanma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boytyperanma)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-homosexuals/511486/8 "2009-09-25T12:37:32Z")
I’m not concerned or affected by what straight people do. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-homosexuals/511486/9 "2009-09-25T13:09:50Z")
I don’t know about all gay people, but Dan Savage of Savage Love has consistently commented about how he is squicked out by even the idea of vaginas. He once referred to the vagina (I guess he meant the vulva, but he said vagina) as resembling “a canned ham after being dropped from a great height.” I don’t think this thought is particularly uncommon amongst gay men, at least the gay men I know. That having been said, none of them have a problem seeing straight people kissing. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-homosexuals/511486/10 "2009-09-25T13:34:59Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > One thing, though, that sometimes creates some ambivalence: When I’m watching a hetero love scene, and the man is hot . . . I never know who to identify with. I can put myself in her place, being with him, yet I identify with him because I’m a man. I can feel my brain switching back and forth. This may help to confirm a suspicion I have. As a heterosexual guy, I’m a little squicked by watching two men kissing or Gettin’ It On, or by watching an ugly or repulsive heterosexual couple kissing, but certainly not by attractive lesbians (even the real kind) kissing, which I think is due to the vicarious aspect. When a homosexual person watches an attractive heterosexual couple kissing, there’s at least one of them they could put themselves in the place of without it being a turnoff. ---
**Author:** ![Fotheringay-Phipps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d9b06d/32.png) [@Fotheringay-Phipps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fotheringay-Phipps)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-homosexuals/511486/11 "2009-09-25T13:43:55Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > The reason some heteros are squeamish is, for the most part, a result of long-run societal prejudices against homosexuality. I doubt it. I think it’s because all sexual activity is icky unless you happen to have hormones telling you otherwise. (Or, as others have observed, you are desensitized through exposure.) > [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > As a heterosexual guy, I’m a little squicked by watching two men kissing or Gettin’ It On, or by watching an ugly or repulsive heterosexual couple kissing, but certainly not by attractive lesbians (even the real kind) kissing, which I think is due to the vicarious aspect. OTOH, hetero women don’t enjoy seeing homosexual men in action. My theory is that women being turned on is itself a big turn-on for men, hence the attraction of lesbian activity. Men being turned on is not, in and of itself, an attraction for women. (The reactions would be similarly disparate if heteros viewed people of the opposite gender pleasuring themselves.) ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-homosexuals/511486/12 "2009-09-25T14:04:03Z")
> [@Fotheringay-Phipps](#): > > …OTOH, hetero women don’t enjoy seeing homosexual men in action. > > My theory is that women being turned on is itself a big turn-on for men, hence the attraction of lesbian activity. Men being turned on is not, in and of itself, an attraction for women. (The reactions would be similarly disparate if heteros viewed people of the opposite gender pleasuring themselves.) A great great many hetero women _ **are** _ turned on by watching homosexual men in action, as a matter of fact. Straight women have libidos, as it turns out, and can be (and frequently are) turned on by seeing men be turned on. It’s almost like they’re real people! ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-homosexuals/511486/13 "2009-09-25T14:17:44Z")
> [@Fotheringay-Phipps](#): > > OTOH, hetero women don’t enjoy seeing homosexual men in action. > > My theory is that women being turned on is itself a big turn-on for men, hence the attraction of lesbian activity. Men being turned on is not, in and of itself, an attraction for women. (The reactions would be similarly disparate if heteros viewed people of the opposite gender pleasuring themselves.) Mmmmmno…I get way more turned on by two dudes than I do by two women. As they say about gay porn “twice the dicks and none of the chicks!” ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-homosexuals/511486/14 "2009-09-25T14:44:30Z")
> [@Drain\_Bead](#): > > I don’t know about all gay people, but Dan Savage of Savage Love has consistently commented about how he is squicked out by even the idea of vaginas. He once referred to the vagina (I guess he meant the vulva, but he said vagina) as resembling “a canned ham after being dropped from a great height.” I don’t think this thought is particularly uncommon amongst gay men, at least the gay men I know. > > That having been said, none of them have a problem seeing straight people kissing. I mostly agree with Dan on this. I honestly have no idea what you straight guys see in that area. ---
**Author:** ![Fotheringay-Phipps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d9b06d/32.png) [@Fotheringay-Phipps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fotheringay-Phipps)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-homosexuals/511486/15 "2009-09-25T15:00:27Z")
> [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > A great great many hetero women _ **are** _ turned on by watching homosexual men in action, as a matter of fact. Very possible. My impression is that while there are exceptions to everything, it’s a lot less common for women to get stimulated by male homosexual activity than the reverse. But that’s based on cultural vibes & the like and not on any studies or other actual data. I could be wrong. ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-homosexuals/511486/16 "2009-09-25T15:19:34Z")
> [@Fotheringay-Phipps](#): > > Very possible. > > My impression is that while there are exceptions to everything, it’s a lot less common for women to get stimulated by male homosexual activity than the reverse. But that’s based on cultural vibes & the like and not on any studies or other actual data. > > I could be wrong. It’s pretty common, actually. Google slash fiction, for example. Here’s what I wonder: I know its common for gay man to find a woman’s vulva… uh, off putting. Is it common for lesbians to be squicked out by the sight of a penis, or by descriptions of fellatio? I’ve never heard of it, but then it is pretty rare to hear much about (real) lesbian sexuality. ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-homosexuals/511486/17 "2009-09-25T15:44:04Z")
> [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > Here’s what I wonder: I know its common for gay man to find a woman’s vulva… uh, off putting. Is it common for lesbians to be squicked out by the sight of a penis, or by descriptions of fellatio? I’ve never heard of it, but then it is pretty rare to hear much about (real) lesbian sexuality. I, for one, find men’s dicks and balls revolting, and whilst I can find elements of hetero porn a turn-on (mainly for the sight of a woman’s arse and ladybits, if I’m honest), the sight of anyone giving anyone a blowjob makes me want to gag. So that’s one lesbian reaction for you. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-homosexuals/511486/18 "2009-09-25T16:19:36Z")
Sort of but not quite along the lines you’re asking: as an asexual, I think both types of plumbing are ugly. I understand that people who like sex like to look heir because it makes them think of sex, but from a purely asthetic veiw I think both are revolting. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-homosexuals/511486/19 "2009-09-25T16:27:54Z")
I’m bisexual, and I’m honestly kind of skeeved by any kind of couple making out–anything more than a little kiss grosses me out to see, and makes me think they need to go home and pursue things in private. Is anyone else a little tired of gay men talking about how distasteful they find the mere idea of ladyparts? No one is forcing you to think about them, any more than anyone is forcing straight men to think about dudeparts (and their complaints along those lines are equally tiresome). Guys who think this way, you all need to grow the fuck up. ---
**Author:** ![Neverender](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/848f3c/32.png) [@Neverender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neverender)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2009, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-homosexuals/511486/20 "2009-09-26T01:51:44Z")
I asked my Gay Friend™ (FWIW I’m a het male, not a fem, so a _bit_ odd, but anyway) Christian about this kind of thing, and he said his reaction is kind of ‘meh’ unless the male is hot. He also regularly gets changed to go out with our hetero fem friend Zara and also my gf occasionally without any hoohah. There’s also no pervy-ness on his part in the locker room if we’re going swimming, to the gym etc either, even though he knows I’d kick the ass of anyone that made a bit of fun into a problem anyway (i.e. the odd ‘too long eye contact made’ occurrence). [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-homosexuals/511486.md?page=2)