# Question about the behavior of young women on buses \[edited title\] **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 8, 2014, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-behavior-of-young-women-on-buses-edited-title/683195 "2014-03-08T15:24:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-behavior-of-young-women-on-buses-edited-title/683195/81 "2014-03-09T19:11:32Z")
I don’t understand why this concept is so hard to understand for some people. -Women have to deal with unwanted touching and verbal harassment all the time. -Over time, women learn various coping methods to adapt to minimizing this harassment. -Men do not have to deal with unwanted sexual touching nearly as often as women have to deal with unwanted sexual touching from men. -The choices a man makes when sitting on a bus, walking down a street, being alone, etc are going to be fundamentally DIFFERENT than a woman in these scenarios. Maybe I’m in a privleged position of actually _witnessing_ the harassment that women go through (and being in a position to _do_ something about it and act). But it seems like we have threads like this on the SDMB all the damn time, and the concept needs to be explained to death to people. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-behavior-of-young-women-on-buses-edited-title/683195/82 "2014-03-09T19:25:11Z")
Also **Lamia** accusing him of staring at women like they are lab specimens, calling him immature, claiming he was demanding that women pay him attention on a bus, telling him he was reading more into it than was real … his feeling a bit insulted by this profiling was mocked to my read anyway. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-behavior-of-young-women-on-buses-edited-title/683195/83 "2014-03-09T19:40:04Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > Don’t judge based on superficial looks too much. That’s the message I want my daughter to hear. Given that she is judged for her looks, a Chinese girl adopted into a White Jewish family may have some issues with what people assume about her based on looks alone, I think it is the message I prefer to send than worrying about male or female. I personally don’t think gender/sex is a superficial quality like race is. Some of the social dictates regarding gender are silly and should be ignored. But some of them aren’t. Like, if I’m undressing in a public locker room and a woman comes in, I will smile at her and then go on about my business. If a man strolls up in there, I will scream until he leaves. If you are saying you would advice your daughter to act any differently since the woman has the same potential to be just as dangerous as the man does, then I’m afraid we’re not going to see eye-to-eye on this. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-behavior-of-young-women-on-buses-edited-title/683195/84 "2014-03-09T19:45:19Z")
> [@Sateryn76](#): > > I’m a female, living in the same area as you, and also having frequented Chicago as you did when you worked there - no woman I know has ever been groped. There are always the women you don’t know and the women in places you don’t live. ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-behavior-of-young-women-on-buses-edited-title/683195/85 "2014-03-09T19:45:37Z")
who thinks about this?? you would have to be Dan Ackroyd, drunk and in a Santa suit, eating smoked salmon through your beard, before I’d even hesitate to sit down mindlessly. That IS public transportation. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-behavior-of-young-women-on-buses-edited-title/683195/86 "2014-03-09T19:49:18Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > Also **Lamia** accusing him of staring at women like they are lab specimens, calling him immature, claiming he was demanding that women pay him attention on a bus, telling him he was reading more into it than was real … his feeling a bit insulted by this profiling was mocked to my read anyway. I do not think I mocked him. However, I believe I was correct in stating that his feeling of being insulted was a sign of his immaturity. He showed an inflated sense of his own significance, ignorance of the world, and a lack of empathy. That’s what we call immaturity, right? But he really nailed his coffin when he claimed to have a mature and elevated lack of prejudgement… while calling a stranger a slut and implying a woman would be dirtying herself to sit next to such a sluttily dressed woman… the contradiction was indeed mockworthy. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-behavior-of-young-women-on-buses-edited-title/683195/87 "2014-03-09T20:09:18Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > **monstro** , > If people cannot engage in a non-snarky discussion acknowledging that they are profiling and why, and at least appreciate that while they may feel such profiling is justified for the sake of their comfort and perceived safety, it does impact others in some ways, if only sending a message to an insecure young man that he must be something to be feared, then how can we hope to have those more difficult ones? To me the everyday mild profiling, the profiling we are not even conscious of, is potentially the most harmful, certainly the most insidious. If we were talking about anything other than where people choose to sit on a bus, I would agree with you that we should be able to “engage” without snark. But we are talking about something that’s rather trivial. Only one person–the OP–has opined about how this bothers him, and he doesn’t seem bothered as much as amused. Surely if this kind of profiling was problematic, more guys would be chiming in with their sad stories. I’ve noticed that passengers tend to steer clear of me when I ride the bus and I’m having tics.\* They are mostly subtle (facial grimacing, a few utterances under my breath, etc.) but they are enough to freak people out. And you know what? I totally understand why people give me strange looks and won’t make eye contact with me. I steer clear of “crazies” too, and I’m not naive enough to think that I don’t look like one of them. But what’s the solution? Should I tell people not to be afraid of the weirdos who ride the bus? Why would I do this when I know good and well that weirdos often _do_ make bus rides unpleasant? And what do I have to gain by guilting people into sitting next to me? As long as people don’t discriminate against me outside of the context of an uncomfortably-confined, diesel-fumed city bus, this kind of profiling doesn’t warrant a serious conversation. IMHO. It is what it is, yo. It’s just one more thing about life that has to be dealt with somehow. \*I don’t really ever talk about how my brain has made life different for me. I don’t have a problem talking about my race or gender. But the whole “neurodiversity” stuff I am much more ambivalent about. But it’s time I stop being in denial about it, because sometimes it does complicate things. ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-behavior-of-young-women-on-buses-edited-title/683195/88 "2014-03-09T20:12:40Z")
I’m reminded of something my mother told me when I was a teenager: No one is obsessed with you as you are. ---
**Author:** ![naita](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naita/32/5862_2.png) [@naita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naita)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-behavior-of-young-women-on-buses-edited-title/683195/89 "2014-03-09T20:58:37Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > As to his word choice. Yeah it is politically incorrect and makes him read badly. He clearly does not articulate his POV well. That said it was a word choice that painted the image of the woman in question … we can visualize what the person looked like from that word while “unsavory” would not have painted as accurate of an image. His point was still made: women in his experience would prefer to sit next to someone who is dressed with her breasts falling out of her top and a tattoo on her upper back saying “My name is Candy” upside down (no judgement passed, but he could have just described her and that could have been what she looked like), than sit next to him, a well dressed young man just sitting there. He does not get why, is mildly offended, and more so puzzled. He followed up his “poor word choice” with this pearl: > [@deepboy](#): > > This was a girl under 18, I don’t think its appropriate for anyone to be going to school like that. She’ll probably be running to a forum asking why she can’t have a serious relationship with men when she’s dressing provocatively. Am I really that wrong? Now of course his is an understandable response, as a sheltered young man with obviously little experience in life, and after all, the girl who was looking for a seat was indecisive herself, but it’s telling that he considers sitting down next to a scantily dressed girl such an undesirable thing that the girl choosing couldn’t simple have been indecisive because neither option had much significance, good or bad. ---
**Author:** ![marshmallow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@marshmallow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marshmallow)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-behavior-of-young-women-on-buses-edited-title/683195/90 "2014-03-09T21:21:23Z")
Surprised threads like this take up so much internet ink. Dudes are more threatening and pervy than other women. Done. Doesn’t take walls of text. People jumping on the OP for calling a passenger slutty was the expected level of PC, but what confused me was why he’d think the woman wouldn’t want to sit next to another gal just because the already seated passenger was dressed provocatively. What’s the threat there? Contact cooties? Being poked in the eye with a nipple? Maybe if she was gussed up in leather, tats, and piercings and was playing with a knife I could see some misapprehension, but otherwise… ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-behavior-of-young-women-on-buses-edited-title/683195/91 "2014-03-09T21:25:34Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > When I see a grandmother from the upscale predominately white suburbs riding Metro to a baseball game avoid sitting next to a large group of black male teens on the subway, yeah, that’s profiling and it sucks. She might be profiling a large group of teens. I tend to avoid large groups of teens on the subway, and the routes I take are just as likely to be large groups of white teens, black teens, Asian teens, and Hispanic teens. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-behavior-of-young-women-on-buses-edited-title/683195/92 "2014-03-09T22:03:20Z")
I just came back from a walk (where I do my best thinking) and I remembered something my father once complained about. He was telling me that whenever he gets grouchy and mean–like right after arguing with my mother, which is all the time–he’ll try to assuage his guilt by doing something nice for a woman. Like offer to take a woman’s shopping cart back to the corral. And he told me that he gets so mad when they turn down this simple favor. He’ll actually scold them about how they’re “stealing his blessings”. Those Christians and their guilt trips, I tell ya. I told him flat-out that I would also turn him down. He started getting angry at _me_ until I reminded him that the lecherous creep usually makes his introduction the exact same way–offering a favor that wasn’t asked. And they also do the guilt trip thing to make victims drop their guards. And I told him that I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t want me accepting niceties from every Tom, Dick, and Harry no matter how grandfatherly they look, no matter how small the favor. Because in a parking lot, everyone is scary. Danger does lurk. What I said clicked in his head. He got it. Fighting ignorance since 1977! ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-behavior-of-young-women-on-buses-edited-title/683195/93 "2014-03-09T22:08:53Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > Also **Lamia** accusing him of staring at women like they are lab specimens, calling him immature, claiming he was demanding that women pay him attention on a bus, telling him he was reading more into it than was real … his feeling a bit insulted by this profiling was mocked to my read anyway. I think you are confusing me with someone else, because I did not accuse him of staring at women like lab specimens or demanding that women pay attention to him. I did point out that _by his own definition of maturity_, he sounded less mature than the girl he was criticizing for wanting to sit next to her friend. “Why would teenage girls prefer not to sit next to strange men on the bus?” is IMHO a pretty stupid question, but we get plenty of stupid questions around here. Had **deepboy** managed to ask this question without coming across as self-absorbed, arrogant, overly judgmental, and hypocritical then he would have received a very different response from me and probably from most of the other posters here. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2014, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-behavior-of-young-women-on-buses-edited-title/683195/94 "2014-03-09T23:43:32Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > I do not think I mocked him. However, I believe I was correct in stating that his feeling of being insulted was a sign of his immaturity. He showed an inflated sense of his own significance, ignorance of the world, and a lack of empathy. That’s what we call immaturity, right? But he really nailed his coffin when he claimed to have a mature and elevated lack of prejudgement… while calling a stranger a slut and implying a woman would be dirtying herself to sit next to such a sluttily dressed woman… the contradiction was indeed mockworthy. Okay. A reasonable point. Although I strongly suspect that English is not only not our op’s first language but also one that he is not too strong in. (I do however recognize myself demonstrating a pattern of attributing odd behavior to not being from round here …) > [@Lamia](#): > > I think you are confusing me with someone else, because I did not accuse him of … No, I was stating that in addition to the statements you quoted people saying, some of the same people in the same posts, called him those things. > [@marshmallow](#): > > … Dudes are more threatening and pervy than other women. Done. Doesn’t take walls of text. As a contributor to the wall of text, it takes some discussion because the similar statement; “Blacks are more threatening than other Whites. Done” is an unacceptable one. And given that the fears held by the profiler are just as real _to the profiler_ in both cases I think some self-awareness is minimally called for. As I pointed out in an early post, a major difference is the impact the prejudicial behavior has. But I suspect that if the circumstance was that one of these women could choose who got in the back of a cab with them and who was left in the rain, or let on the bus to sit next to them … they’d make the same choice. A random man would find himself left behind more often than a random woman would if such was the case. And maybe if they had a concealed weapon and someone jumped out near them who they would be more likely to fire at. Maybe as someone in charge of choosing a new person to hire who they would have to work with alone after others had left the office also a bit more likely to hire a female than a male. Their behavior I think would be the same if there was a significant impact. The lack of significant consequence is not a factor in the mindset or behavior, I don’t think. Their comfort and fears are. I can read the posts and get why. And I find the casual uncritical acceptance of the mindset and the behavior to be a bit problematic. ---
**Author:** ![Weedy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/weedy/32/301_2.png) [@Weedy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weedy)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-behavior-of-young-women-on-buses-edited-title/683195/95 "2014-03-10T03:00:07Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > No. > > Are you offended by having it pointed out that doing such is profiling and that the psychology behind it, the psychology that the op wondered about (and was a beat up a bit for wondering about) is the same psychology, defended with the same sorts of rationalizations, as other profiling is? I am ok with my profiling here. It’s a snap decision, of little importance, and little chance for harm to the guy I don’t sit next to. If it was a decision of more consequence, with more chance for harm to someone else, then I would think about it more. I was surprised when you started bringing bosses into it, because that is clearly very different. The OP was also profiling, he just had different categories - ‘proper’ vs. slutty. ---
**Author:** ![marshmallow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@marshmallow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marshmallow)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-behavior-of-young-women-on-buses-edited-title/683195/96 "2014-03-10T04:16:14Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > As a contributor to the wall of text, it takes some discussion because the similar statement; “Blacks are more threatening than other Whites. Done” is an unacceptable one. At least people make excuses for black people. Hardly anyone makes excuses for men. Most everyone, including men themselves (except the OP, I guess), know they’re scum. So it’s all good. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-behavior-of-young-women-on-buses-edited-title/683195/97 "2014-03-10T04:37:41Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > But I suspect that if the circumstance was that one of these women could choose who got in the back of a cab with them and who was left in the rain, or let on the bus to sit next to them … they’d make the same choice. A random man would find himself left behind more often than a random woman would if such was the case. And maybe if they had a concealed weapon and someone jumped out near them who they would be more likely to fire at. Maybe as someone in charge of choosing a new person to hire who they would have to work with alone after others had left the office also a bit more likely to hire a female than a male. Their behavior I think would be the same if there was a significant impact. The lack of significant consequence is not a factor in the mindset or behavior, I don’t think. Aren’t you the guy who was saying he was _against_ making prejudiced assumptions about strangers? Because it sure looks like you’ve made a lot of assumptions about the motives, beliefs, and potential future behavior of “these women” based on pretty flimsy evidence: > [@deepboy](#): > > The two incidents that sparked this question were one when a girl was standing between me and another girl and deciding where to sit. She stood for nearly 10 seconds looking back and forth at me. She caught my attention but I tried to act normally as she was deciding. She eventually chose the girl. IMHO, I think I was dressed better. I attended a private school so I had to wear uniform. I was smartly dressed, not smelling; perhaps maybe because of my age gender and/or race (I’m half white half Indian). But I was seriously surprised that she considered sitting near someone who looked ‘slutty’ and in general more antisocial over someone who is more approachable. (Hope that didn’t offend anyone but that’s what I believe tbh) > > The second incident was when I sat down near a school girl, A few seconds after I sat down she asked if she could move so that she could sit near her friend. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-behavior-of-young-women-on-buses-edited-title/683195/98 "2014-03-10T17:30:11Z")
> [@deepboy](#): > > Most of the time though, other men, or older women 30+ sat near me. > … > > If its to avoid creepy men then I think its quite silly really. If there’s a psychopathic man on the bus, I doesn’t really matter where you sit. Everyone is in equal danger. Everyone is in equal danger from the guy who up and decides he’s going to start stabbing people in the face, sure. Everyone is NOT in equal danger from the normal-looking guy who leans into the turns way too hard with his arms crossed so that his elbow or hand “accidentally” grazes your tit. Everyone is not in equal danger from the well-dressed gent who whispers to you that he hopes the bus hits some more speed bumps because he likes watching your tits bounce. Everyone is not in equal danger from the “approachable” guy who stares at your chest and nags you for a date the entire trip. Women are pretty much 100% of the victim pool for that shit, and probably 90% of those women are about the same age or younger than the guy in question. So no, other men and women visibly older than you aren’t going to be as hesitant to sit next to you. Even if you’re the perviest perv who ever perved, odds are strongly against you perving on _them_. They’re quite likely to be able to make their journey in peace and go on their way unmolested, if you’ll pardon the expression. Yes, it sucks and is unfair that women assume you might be one of those guys when you’re not. It also sucks and is unfair to have to wonder whether any random guy you encounter is one of those guys. And the solution isn’t telling women that they’re being silly and prejudiced to prefer sitting with someone with whom they can relax and not have to think about this shit. The solution is you and every other decent man out there telling other men this isn’t okay. Don’t laugh when someone tells you about this sort of thing. Don’t shrug it off as guys being guys or say that you can’t blame a guy for trying. Withdraw the tacit consent and approval you give by not calling these guys out. ---
**Author:** ![Krouget](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b38774/32.png) [@Krouget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krouget)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-behavior-of-young-women-on-buses-edited-title/683195/99 "2014-03-10T19:30:34Z")
I agree with the principle behind **DSeid** ’s point regarding profiling. That said, it’s a difficult issue to juggle, given the nature of precaution and scenarios where the type of action is justified, because it also carries the very real chance of being offensive/dangerous if followed to its logical conclusion (he pointed out racism). The thing is, profiling at this bus/seating level won’t really be challenged in a public setting among strangers, so you’re generally free to exercise precaution, and for the most part it’s even socially acceptable and given a pass. Dissecting this behavior on a board, though, will create obvious holes, but then it becomes a matter of whether or not a particular individual feels its worth it. If they don’t receive much social backlash, the way something more extreme like racism would, then profiling would be worth it for the 20 minutes of peace they enjoy during that bus ride. It’s a complex equation and nowhere near perfect, but we (individually and as a greater society) adjust for what is acceptable as we move along. > [@LurkerInNJ](#): > > I’ll give you a non-rapeified-every-man-is-a-dangerous-predator answer from a female who has lived in and around NYC her entire life. > > From the time a female hits puberty, men pay attention to you. It’s not all negative, but it can be annoying. When you get on a bus, you can’t tell by looking at a man if they are going to try and pick you up, engage you in unwanted conversation and so forth just by looking at them. At that age, it’s much easier to sit next to another girl. It’s a quick judgment call, one of hundreds that people make every day, and it’s nothing personal against you. > > Also, many people don’t pick up well on social signals about being left alone. Sometimes reading a book, kindle, paper, using your phone, etc isn’t enough to deter a male who has decided he wants to talk to you. Why put yourself in that situation if you can help it? Simple, to the point, and I agree. I can completely understand why it’s just easier to sit somewhere else, as I wouldn’t be able to tolerate the constant bombardment of unwanted attention, either. Most guys don’t realize that their approach is just one in a line of many before, day in and out. Not fun. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2014, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-behavior-of-young-women-on-buses-edited-title/683195/100 "2014-03-10T20:21:34Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > Aren’t you the guy who was saying he was _against_ making prejudiced assumptions about strangers? Because it sure looks like you’ve made a lot of assumptions about the motives, beliefs, and potential future behavior of “these women” based on pretty flimsy evidence: Again, the “these women” are these in this thread, and my suspicion is based on what was said in this thread. I’ll pose the question as hypotheticals and give a chance for my suspicion to be falsified: You, a moderately young woman, are in a cab on a cold hard rainy day and, hypothetically, (don’t fight the hypothetical) the cabbie states that he’s considering having another rider share the cab, should he? Circumstance one is that the person waiting out in the cold rain is anoher young lady. Circumstance two is that the other person waiting out is a young man. Are you a bit less likely to say please do in one or the other circumstance? Real consequence is no cab for who knows how long in the freezing rain. Or modified - car sharing service with profiles of drivers listed. One is a male one is female. Does it impact your choice? Consequence is real: income. If the posters here state that the fact that there is a now an income or unknown amount of time in the rain consequence to their preference would result in them being more evenly random in their choice I will be suitably shocked albeit incredulous. Again, the principle is the same as the cabby who given two fares available stops in front of the White woman instead of the Black man, one is just more systemically of consequence in our society is all. I readily admit the reason I react like this is that in another thread we were talking about this sort of subtle prejudice in regards to race and choosing who to let stay in your home (the apparent reality being that Black candidates were more often turned down). This comfort sort of profiling, often not even consciously recognized, is insidious. In that conversation I admitted to the probability that at some point I likely have responded to subconscious tapes without realizing it and perhaps sat near the White older woman than the young Black man on a bus (I don’t know I have but it is the sort of thing that happens without our even thinking about it, the sort of thing the op is talking about with these women and young men). The response was that no one gives a shit about where I sit (just like no one, well almost no one, cares about where these women sit) But it matters. Because if I can make those decisions unaware I can make other decisions unaware. Ones that may have impact on hiring or other issues of consequence. So my apologies a bit for a reaction that might have been larger than the thread warranted, but these profiling behaviors existing without some examination, uncritically accepted as just fine, disturbs me as a matter of precedence. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-behavior-of-young-women-on-buses-edited-title/683195.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-behavior-of-young-women-on-buses-edited-title/683195.md?page=6)