Given how frequent rape, sexual assault, and harassment are yes, I think it’s valid to do it on the basis of gender because it is demonstrable that a woman is at higher risk from a man than a woman.
Reported for forum and title change.
Moderator Action
Moving thread from General Questions to In My Humble Opinion.
Thread title also changed.
Old title: Are girls really more mature than boys?
New title: Question about the behavior or young women on buses
Yet I do not accept the argument that a belief of higher rates of violent crime being committed by young American Black males than by some other group would justify racist behavior to some unknown person who happens to be Black. That would, appropriately, be labelled as profiling. Those who are so profiled get rightly pissed off. If someone could demonstrate that a crime by an unknown individual in a particular area is more likely to be committed by a Black male than a White one, would you say that profiling was then justified? I doubt it.
And how frequently do rape, sexual assault, and harrassment occur sitting next to someone on a moderately crowded but not standing room only public bus?
Actually, no, this thread hasn’t gone off the tracks at all, at all. This thread had gone, and is going, exactly where the tracks lead, and there lies a massive mountain of anger and hostility, as this thread, thus far, has shown perfectly clearly.
The molten lava seething fount of poisonous anger you see in this thread is but a microcosm of the real world; your observations on the bus show a little bit more of that as seen in the real world. (You’re new here, deepboy, ain’tcha? You didn’t see our rancorous gender wars on this board last year – here on SDMB of all places, ostensibly a meeting place of calm and rational minds.)
I have heard it suggested (no, it wasn’t originally my idea) that the entire world should be divided into two hemispheres, with all the adult males segregated in one of those, and all the adult females in the other. (The females could have all the children too, up to a certain age.) An island in the middle of the ocean (perhaps Hawaii?) would reserved as the mating place; admittance would be strictly controlled and limited to a specified number per year, as determined by a random lottery. This scheme was originally proposed as a population control device, so the lottery would be calibrated so that only a rather small percentage of the world’s population would ever “win” that lottery (if you would even call that “winning”).
In choosing a bus seat, people are far more likely to choose proximity to people more like themselves. This has been established through quite a few studies. that’s assuming the others on the bus are strangers to them, but the tendency is exhibited by all races and both sexes.
Aside, re the edited title: *badly *edited. Don’t people read through, even once, what they wrote? At least in the title??
two things I don’t understand (a) I’ve travelled on mass transit for decades and not seen a single incident of ‘groping’, and (b) if someone was groped why would they not say or do something about it right there and then?
Are women suddenly all shrinking violets again?
This makes a whole lot of sense. Fwiw, I actually feel more comfortable next to an overweight middle aged guy for several reasons (not likley to have loud music, not act ‘weird’ towards me, etc).
Nope. I didn’t. I was in a hurry.
(typo fixed)
Anyone who has come into this thread to say that groping doesn’t happen loses, in my estimation. My experience of public transit amounts to 8-10 weeks of vacation and business travel in big cities during my lifetime. In the amount of public transit experience that netted me, I’ve been groped on public transport twice.
I love you now. 
The rape isn’t likely to happen on the bus (though it can - there was a well-publicized case from India not too long ago). What is likely to occur is sexual assault (groping is classified as that under US law in most jurisdictions) and/or harassment, meaning any sort of unwanted attention that doesn’t stop when the person is told to stop.
The latter two are pretty damn frequent. Particularly harassment. I recall numerous times when I told someone bluntly LEAVE ME ALONE and the response is “aw… I’m just being friendly… c’mon, be a nice girl”.
I can’t remember - are you male or female?
For one thing, people doing the groping have some incentive to keep it as invisible as possible.
Women are often taught to not make a fuss.
Women who do speak up are likely to face a situation where the man denies committing an offense.
Women who do speak up can be accused of being hysterical, lying, exaggerating, or otherwise misconstruing the situation.
Women who speak up might even be forced off the bus for causing a disturbance.
If the rest of the people on the bus are men a woman might fear a gang attack. Which has happened (see India incident mentioned earlier) though thankfully those aren’t common. Problem is, if a woman is unlucky enough to be the victim of a gang attack, well, it really sucks to be her.
I’m a female, living in the same area as you, and also having frequented Chicago as you did when you worked there - no woman I know has ever been groped.
Really? Where are they learning this? School? Media? Parents? Because I certainly don’t know any women who would stand there and be groped without breaking the offender’s femur.
Well, duh…as are pretty much anyone who makes an accusation against anybody. That’s certainly not the domain of a certain gender.
Again, I don’t see a gender difference here. Jerks are jerks.
Really? While I’m sure it has happened, it seems far more likely that the other passengers would create their own disturbance sticking up for the victim, especially other men. While that is another example of men viewing women as weaker, they are generally protective in situations like this (I’m thinking of some creeper in a bar getting heat from male patrons when they won’t stop pestering a woman.
If an woman has actual fear of a gang attack on a bus, I suggest they walk, and then do some research into how often that happens. I mean, really.
To the OP - I agree with like wanting to sit by like as stated above. I wouldn’t read anything into it .
I don’t see anything surprising about someone preferring to sit by a friend rather than sit by a total stranger.
So says the person obsessing over the perfectly ordinary behavior of a couple of strangers on a bus.
I’ve known quite a few who have been groped.
All of the above.
That has not been my experience. I would never rely on perfect strangers to stick up for me during a public confrontation.
This would never happen on my bus. I actually keep a close eye on passengers when I’m at work. The last thing I want is for some creeper to harass some woman on the bus.
If a woman came to me telling me some guy grabbed/groped/etc her, I would ask if she knew who it was. If she wasn’t able to identify them, I’d suggest she sit/stand near the front of the bus where I could watch for creepers in my mirror. If I caught ANYONE acting inappropriately, I would immediately call the sheriff, and have done on a number of occasions.
This kind of thing is NOT OKAY. Perverts like bus gropers think that they can hide in a crowd to get away with this shit but as long as I’m driving the bus I will do everything in my power to put a stop to it. Everybody on my bus deserves to have a safe, timely trip to their destination and my employer gives me enough latitude to deal with lowlifes who try to harass other passengers.
Thanks, Incubus. Good to know there are some drivers out there fighting the good fight. I see you’re in California; when I rode the bus in LA it was a tossup if groping would happen or just dirty talk. At seven thirty in the morning! These jerks had stamina!
Yes, thank you Incubus, if only more drivers were like you.