# Question about the use of 'SO' on this board **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 31, 2002, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-use-of-so-on-this-board/101118 "2002-03-31T22:48:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2002, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-use-of-so-on-this-board/101118/1 "2002-03-31T22:48:29Z")
I’m not sure I’m going to get the kind of responses I’m looking for here in ATMB, but it seemed like the most appropriate place for my query. I am sometime perplexed by the prevalence of the term ‘SO’ on this board. This inquiry is occasioned by my use of the term ‘girlfriend’ in another thread. Whenever I write ‘girlfriend’ I am visited by a strange sense of foreboding and a concern that I am breaking some unspoken taboo by not standardizing my terminology. Is there a reason for the use of ‘SO’ or does everyone just do it just because? I see that there is potential for an IMHO question here. I’m hoping there’s a more easily accessible answer that can be gained by ATMB inquiry, but if it comes down to “what term do _you_ use and why,” perhaps I’ll start a thread over there to gain some insight into individual preference. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2002, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-use-of-so-on-this-board/101118/2 "2002-03-31T22:51:46Z")
I don’t believe there’s a particular reason. ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2002, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-use-of-so-on-this-board/101118/3 "2002-03-31T23:20:34Z")
It might be that it’s just shorter. SO= 2 letters Girlfriend= Too many letters By writing ‘SO’, you may be saving years of finger dexterity usefullness. So in the end, it’s a health issue. ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2002, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-use-of-so-on-this-board/101118/4 "2002-03-31T23:21:51Z")
SO, wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, love-slave…pick what fits and use with abandon. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-use-of-so-on-this-board/101118/5 "2002-04-01T00:23:20Z")
I think the point of “S[ignificant] O[ther]” is that it handily covers “wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, love-slave” without making any pre-judgments about the gender and legal status and so forth of the aforesaid S.O. **Moderator’s Note:** And since I don’t think this is really a specifically SDMB thing, I’ll go ahead and move it to IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-use-of-so-on-this-board/101118/6 "2002-04-01T00:31:28Z")
I tend to assume that “SO” denotes a more serious relationshpi than “girlfriend” or “boyfriend.” It seems silly to me to refer to the person someone lives with/signifigantly shares a life with using the same term as the person someone has been seeing socially once a week for a couple months, or to refer to a high school relationship. On the other hand, I tend to assume that if people wanted to be referred to as “husband” and “wife”, they’d be married (with or without the acknowledgement of the state). Also, as **MEBuckner** points out, it is a more gerneral term than any of the other and prevents anyone from making assumptions based on ingrained stereotypes. ---
**Author:** ![Cull](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bc79bd/32.png) [@Cull](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cull)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-use-of-so-on-this-board/101118/7 "2002-04-01T00:44:22Z")
It’s because most of the people who post here are completely, utterly, flamingly and unabashedly gay, making it far more politically correct. ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-use-of-so-on-this-board/101118/8 "2002-04-01T01:01:38Z")
**Cull** , lets keep it civil, no need for your homophobic views and generalizations to arise. ---
**Author:** ![Cull](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bc79bd/32.png) [@Cull](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cull)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-use-of-so-on-this-board/101118/9 "2002-04-01T01:03:16Z")
Homophobic? Did I say i had a problem with it? I don’t care how many people are gay or not… I was just answering the question… You should not jump to conclusions so quickly. ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-use-of-so-on-this-board/101118/10 "2002-04-01T01:40:25Z")
Maybe you shouldn’t make assumptions about most of the people who post on this board. ---
**Author:** ![Cull](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bc79bd/32.png) [@Cull](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cull)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-use-of-so-on-this-board/101118/11 "2002-04-01T01:57:42Z")
It’s depressing how people love to turn humor into hatred. Everyone walks around looking for something to be offended about. We are living in a world of shit 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-use-of-so-on-this-board/101118/12 "2002-04-01T02:04:27Z")
I vote for the shortness. In my case, anyway. Although I can see a good case for the “more serious than boy/girlfriend”. ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-use-of-so-on-this-board/101118/13 "2002-04-01T02:07:12Z")
Thanks **MEBuckner** and **Manda JO**. Two great answers. My curiosity is satisfied. And thanks **MEBuckner** for moving it, sorry to be a nuisance. I struggled with the decision of where to post. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-use-of-so-on-this-board/101118/14 "2002-04-01T03:29:04Z")
Cull, I’ve looked over all of your posts to date, and while you might get a little rowdy with your opinions, you haven’t shown yourself to be homophobic. Try to understand that some people here are a touch sensitive about the subject, probably for good reason. ---
**Author:** ![Magickly\_Delicious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magickly\_Delicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magickly_Delicious)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-use-of-so-on-this-board/101118/15 "2002-04-01T05:16:34Z")
“SO” is a very good term, because it covers everything, from boyfriend/girlfriend to fiancee to husband/wife and everything in between. I use it partly because it’s short, and partly because ususally I don’t need to make it clear my relationship to the person I"m talking about because it isn’t pertinent to the post, and partly because it’s fantastic for those relationships that aren’t quite that easy to label! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-use-of-so-on-this-board/101118/16 "2002-04-01T08:05:43Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **Cull** _ > > It’s because most of the people who post here are completely, utterly, flamingly and unabashedly gay, making it far more politically correct. I count about a dozen. Even if we’re generous and say fifty “completely, utterly, flmaingly and unabasedly gay” posters, that’s still hardly “most” of the count of 20,741 members of the SDMB as of this posting. 😕 Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-use-of-so-on-this-board/101118/17 "2002-04-01T09:12:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > \*\* > > I count about a dozen. Even if we’re generous and say fifty “completely, utterly, flmaingly and unabasedly gay” posters, that’s still hardly “most” of the count of 20,741 members of the SDMB as of this posting. > > 😕 > > Esprix \*\* Perhaps Cull is thinking in terms of a weighted average. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-use-of-so-on-this-board/101118/18 "2002-04-01T13:14:17Z")
Perhaps this is off-topic. If you wish to discuss Cull’s attempt at humor, please do so elsewhere. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-use-of-so-on-this-board/101118/19 "2002-04-01T13:34:57Z")
I use SO partly by habit and partly because I was lazy. (I had this thing in high school where I was refusing to use the words “my boyfriend” because it denoted possesion…don’t ask.) So its SO for now. It covers the idea of a relationship more serious than dating but may or may not include marriage. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-use-of-so-on-this-board/101118/20 "2002-04-01T13:54:29Z")
‘SO’ is not only an alternative to _specific_ labels, like ‘boyfriend’, ‘live-in lover’, and the like, but is also a stand-in for the entire list at once. For instance, I could start an IMHO thread entitled, “Does your SO’s snoring bother you?” ‘SO’ covers all the bases, in two easy letters. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-the-use-of-so-on-this-board/101118.md?page=2)