# question about what to talk about to a woman when you want to date her **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 26, 2014, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-what-to-talk-about-to-a-woman-when-you-want-to-date-her/694112 "2014-07-26T18:18:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![7e42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/7/51bf81/32.png) [@7e42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/7e42)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-what-to-talk-about-to-a-woman-when-you-want-to-date-her/694112/21 "2014-07-27T01:04:06Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > Talk about things you like to do and/or things you like to talk about. IF she likes the same things, and likes to talk about the same things, it’s all good. If not, she’s not the right woman. > > Also, if she’s talking, don’t interrupt her. (Unless she goes on and on. In that case she’s also probably not the right woman unless you like that kind of thing.) > > You don’t have to talk about sexual things. I always found that a lot more attractive in a man, myself. You can flirt without saying anything sexual. Maybe a double entendre if you can manage it. how do you flirt without saying anything sexual? ---
**Author:** ![7e42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/7/51bf81/32.png) [@7e42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/7e42)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-what-to-talk-about-to-a-woman-when-you-want-to-date-her/694112/22 "2014-07-27T01:06:58Z")
> [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](#): > > How old are you? in my mid 30’s, i;m a late bloomer who didn’t start going on dates until I was 24 ---
**Author:** ![7e42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/7/51bf81/32.png) [@7e42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/7e42)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-what-to-talk-about-to-a-woman-when-you-want-to-date-her/694112/23 "2014-07-27T01:09:09Z")
> [@Arrendajo](#): > > Flirting is a style of communication, not a list of topics. It is engaging, light-hearted conversation usually about trivial matters, often with a conspiratorial undercurrent and some light sexual innuendo, especially if the flirtee is amused by or open to such innuendo (and dropped quickly if she’s not). It involves plenty of eye contact and close attention to gesture and physical cues, and usually the personal space in closer than in non-flirting exchanges. It should above all be humorous and fun. > It is difficult to learn if you’re not naturally gregarious and tuned in to personal relations. Most 16 year olds, for example, will have a difficult time with flirting simply due to lack of experience and the pressure to score. can you give me an example? ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-what-to-talk-about-to-a-woman-when-you-want-to-date-her/694112/24 "2014-07-27T01:11:51Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > Don’t talk. _Listen._ +1 ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-what-to-talk-about-to-a-woman-when-you-want-to-date-her/694112/25 "2014-07-27T01:17:17Z")
> [@7e42](#): > > in my mid 30’s, i;m a late bloomer who didn’t start going on dates until I was 24 And you’re apparently not very experienced, even after all this time. Stop looking at women as conquests or something to date, but as fellow human beings, without a sexual agenda. Otherwise, you will continue to come across as creepy and unattractive and the harder you try at getting the right “technique” to communicating with us exotic species, the creepier you will appear. Are you capable, in any context, of talking to members of the opposite sex without thinking of us as sexual objects for your personal gratification? ---
**Author:** ![7e42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/7/51bf81/32.png) [@7e42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/7e42)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-what-to-talk-about-to-a-woman-when-you-want-to-date-her/694112/26 "2014-07-27T01:26:28Z")
Well I had a date this evening and don’t plan to text her or call since the last 2 times I did that I never got a response. The one date I had where I didn’t respond she text me 2 days later Well of course I am just speculating but if I was to analyze the good signs during the date that she was interested it would be the things below. But again just speculating 1. At end the date she says “you can hug me” 2. During the date we were discussing how to get to her area from where I live on public transit 3.Asked “what do I have planned tomorrow” 4.Asked "what am I planning do with all with my days off in August 1. Detected she was a little nervous But like I said I could be as wrong as two left shoes lol ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-what-to-talk-about-to-a-woman-when-you-want-to-date-her/694112/27 "2014-07-27T01:32:15Z")
> [@7e42](#): > > in my mid 30’s, i;m a late bloomer who didn’t start going on dates until I was 24 I remember you asking me specifically for an example in that recent thread by **R3d Anonymous**. I didn’t answer in that thread because he was 16 and the way I flirt wouldn’t be appropriate for his age. I did think about it for a while and I honestly couldn’t remember a good example of flirting as a teenager. That’s because, as **Arrendajo** said, flirting is just hard to do well without practice and experience. It would’ve been nice if you learned 20 years ago, but here you are now so you’re got to make the best of it. Are you witty and funny? Having a good sense of humor is a good start. A lot of angry, lonely men out there complain that women say they like a sense of humor, but really only like it if it belongs to a tall handsome man with money. That’s about 90% sour grapes, but there’s a little bit of truth to it. People, women included, just aren’t great at being perspicuous about what they find attractive. So some rowdy jokey sense of humor might make her laugh but that doesn’t mean it’s necessarily romantically appealing. Flirtation also varies widely from people to people. You can and should try to adapt your approach between two very different women. You should also figure out what type of woman is going to be a good fit. What would you dream woman’s personality be like? ---
**Author:** ![7e42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/7/51bf81/32.png) [@7e42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/7e42)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-what-to-talk-about-to-a-woman-when-you-want-to-date-her/694112/28 "2014-07-27T01:38:01Z")
> [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](#): > > I remember you asking me specifically for an example in that recent thread by **R3d Anonymous**. I didn’t answer in that thread because he was 16 and the way I flirt wouldn’t be appropriate for his age. > > I did think about it for a while and I honestly couldn’t remember a good example of flirting as a teenager. That’s because, as **Arrendajo** said, flirting is just hard to do well without practice and experience. It would’ve been nice if you learned 20 years ago, but here you are now so you’re got to make the best of it. > > Are you witty and funny? Having a good sense of humor is a good start. A lot of angry, lonely men out there complain that women say they like a sense of humor, but really only like it if it belongs to a tall handsome man with money. That’s about 90% sour grapes, but there’s a little bit of truth to it. > > People, women included, just aren’t great at being perspicuous about what they find attractive. So some rowdy jokey sense of humor might make her laugh but that doesn’t mean it’s necessarily romantically appealing. > > Flirtation also varies widely from people to people. You can and should try to adapt your approach between two very different women. You should also figure out what type of woman is going to be a good fit. What would you dream woman’s personality be like? This is basically why I am single because of the flirtation factor. I guess my dream women’s personality would someone who can be silly, intelligent, and openminded. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-what-to-talk-about-to-a-woman-when-you-want-to-date-her/694112/29 "2014-07-27T01:59:27Z")
> [@7e42](#): > > This is basically why I am single because of the flirtation factor. I guess my dream women’s personality would someone who can be silly, intelligent, and openminded. Yes fine whutever, but can YOU be silly, intelligent and open-minded? Your few posts here don’t indicate this to be the case. What do \*you \*have to bring to a relationship? Anything? ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-what-to-talk-about-to-a-woman-when-you-want-to-date-her/694112/30 "2014-07-27T02:01:10Z")
> [@7e42](#): > > This is basically why I am single because of the flirtation factor. I guess my dream women’s personality would someone who can be silly, intelligent, and openminded. What stage does your lousy flirting trip you up? Are you able to get dates? I know you had a date this evening but how frequent an occurrence is that? If you’re able to get 1st dates how far does that go and how does it all ultimately end? In general, I mean. ---
**Author:** ![7e42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/7/51bf81/32.png) [@7e42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/7e42)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-what-to-talk-about-to-a-woman-when-you-want-to-date-her/694112/31 "2014-07-27T02:06:26Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > Yes fine whutever, but can YOU be silly, intelligent and open-minded? > > Your few posts here don’t indicate this to be the case. What do \*you \*have to bring to a relationship? Anything? Powerful sense of humor Openminded Considerate ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-what-to-talk-about-to-a-woman-when-you-want-to-date-her/694112/32 "2014-07-27T02:08:41Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > Ask them how much they weigh. Women that are self-conscious will deflect the question, respond with aggresion, or throw their drink in your face. > > Women that are truly confident about their bodies will tell you the number, even if its some embarassingly huge number. But in my experience, I haven’t gotten a straight answer from any woman who ended up weighing more than 160 lbs. It says a lot about their hangups and problems in life. Good Lord man! See a therapist! ---
**Author:** ![7e42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/7/51bf81/32.png) [@7e42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/7e42)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-what-to-talk-about-to-a-woman-when-you-want-to-date-her/694112/33 "2014-07-27T02:09:52Z")
> [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](#): > > What stage does your lousy flirting trip you up? Are you able to get dates? I know you had a date this evening but how frequent an occurrence is that? If you’re able to get 1st dates how far does that go and how does it all ultimately end? In general, I mean. The date I had tonight was from POF, she called me because she was in my area and I went to meet her. Last 3 dates 1. 1st date and sent a text after the date-(No response ever again) 2. 1st date-(sent nothing because of the way date ended…she contacts me 2 days later) 3. 1st date tonight-(I listed the good signs IMO a few post up) ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-what-to-talk-about-to-a-woman-when-you-want-to-date-her/694112/34 "2014-07-27T02:13:44Z")
> [@7e42](#): > > how do you flirt without saying anything sexual? Take out your penis and lay it upon the table. Then you’ll be able to surreptitiously read the crib notes you’ve jotted down on it, and she’ll be impressed by your easy confidence. ---
**Author:** ![7e42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/7/51bf81/32.png) [@7e42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/7e42)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-what-to-talk-about-to-a-woman-when-you-want-to-date-her/694112/35 "2014-07-27T02:17:42Z")
> [@Penfeather](#): > > Take out your penis and lay it upon the table. Then you’ll be able to surreptitiously read the crib notes you’ve jotted down on it, and she’ll be impressed by your easy confidence. What’s sad is you are probably right. Acting like a gentleman is what makes most women nervous:D ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-what-to-talk-about-to-a-woman-when-you-want-to-date-her/694112/36 "2014-07-27T02:17:50Z")
> [@7e42](#): > > The date I had tonight was from POF, she called me because she was in my area and I went to meet her. > > Last 3 dates > > 1. 1st date and sent a text after the date-(No response ever again) > > 2. 1st date-(sent nothing because of the way date ended…she contacts me 2 days later) > > 3. 1st date tonight-(I listed the good signs IMO a few post up) How did the middle date end? You didn’t want to see her again because of something that happened, but she liked you enough to call? Your date tonight did sound like it had some good signs. How do you do socially in non-romantic settings? Do people seem to find you interesting and want to get to know you better? Make new friends easily? I’m curious if you were delayed socially in general or just romantically. Did you have a lot of friends before you were 24? ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-what-to-talk-about-to-a-woman-when-you-want-to-date-her/694112/37 "2014-07-27T02:19:33Z")
> [@7e42](#): > > Powerful sense of humor > Openminded > Considerate Right. ---
**Author:** ![7e42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/7/51bf81/32.png) [@7e42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/7e42)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-what-to-talk-about-to-a-woman-when-you-want-to-date-her/694112/38 "2014-07-27T02:22:54Z")
> [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](#): > > How did the middle date end? You didn’t want to see her again because of something that happened, but she liked you enough to call? > > Your date tonight did sound like it had some good signs. > > How do you do socially in non-romantic settings? Do people seem to find you interesting and want to get to know you better? Make new friends easily? I’m curious if you were delayed socially in general or just romantically. Did you have a lot of friends before you were 24? My sense of humor is how I met most of my friends. The middle date led to a 2nd date last sunday and we are still in contact ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-what-to-talk-about-to-a-woman-when-you-want-to-date-her/694112/39 "2014-07-27T02:29:29Z")
> [@7e42](#): > > Powerful sense of humor I’ve never heard a sense of humor described this way. “Powerful” sense of humor? What does that even mean? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![7e42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/7/51bf81/32.png) [@7e42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/7e42)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-what-to-talk-about-to-a-woman-when-you-want-to-date-her/694112/40 "2014-07-27T02:36:59Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > I’ve never heard a sense of humor described this way. “Powerful” sense of humor? What does that even mean? 😕 Skills in making anyone laugh? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-what-to-talk-about-to-a-woman-when-you-want-to-date-her/694112.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-about-what-to-talk-about-to-a-woman-when-you-want-to-date-her/694112.md?page=3)