# Question and Answer thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 14, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722 "2003-04-14T20:17:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/301 "2003-04-26T01:00:23Z")
Q: Where did you bury all the bodies after that accident with the tub of Vaseline and the hot wax candles at the last kinky sex party? A: A roundhouse kick, followed by a demon horns strike. ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/302 "2003-04-26T01:20:09Z")
Q: What constitutes foreplay for Bippy? A: A shotgun, a rifle and 4-wheel drive ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/303 "2003-04-26T02:05:28Z")
Q: What does **verbenabeast** look for in a woman? A: Curl Defining ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/304 "2003-04-26T02:18:08Z")
Q. What was the name of the movie about the guy who cloned dinosaurs from the Lakesidean Epoch and put them out as exhibits in flimsy enclosures, with the obvious consequences? A. 96, South Carolina ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/305 "2003-04-26T02:19:38Z")
I didn’t see a new page – mine was to “Lakeside Park” back on the last page. Start from **DeVena** ’s: A: Curl Defining and ignore mine! ---
**Author:** ![Aankh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@Aankh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aankh)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/306 "2003-04-26T05:30:18Z")
Q: How does a marketer put a positive spin on electric shocks? A: Don’t blame me! It was the Devil talking! ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/307 "2003-04-26T17:46:06Z")
Q: Why did you ritualisticly murder Jay Gatsby? A: Meyer Wolfsheim ordered it. ---
**Author:** ![cainxinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@cainxinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cainxinth)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/308 "2003-04-26T19:27:34Z")
Q: Why does baseball suck so much? A: The greatest moment in the history of any human civilization ---
**Author:** ![Aankh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@Aankh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aankh)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/309 "2003-04-26T23:20:20Z")
Q: What do you call the first toilet training ever? A: Anal-retentive. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/310 "2003-04-26T23:41:10Z")
Q: What should every good colonoscope bag be? A: Orange on a green background. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2003, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/311 "2003-04-27T02:53:33Z")
Q: What colors should I make this map of Northern Ireland? A: A hare raising experience ---
**Author:** ![Aankh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@Aankh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aankh)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2003, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/312 "2003-04-27T03:27:36Z")
Q: How did the rabbit farmer describe his life? A: She walks in beauty like the night, of cloudless climes and starry skies, and all that’s best of dark and bright, meet in her aspect and her eyes, thus mellow’d to that tender light, which heaven to gaudy day denies. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2003, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/313 "2003-04-27T03:32:56Z")
Q: What’s the concept for Christina Aguilera’s next video? A: The worst thing was the smell. You can’t describe the smell. ---
**Author:** ![lel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8797f3/32.png) [@lel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lel)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2003, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/314 "2003-04-27T05:50:41Z")
Q: What did you think of my house? A: A floppy disk and a pear tree. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2003, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/315 "2003-04-27T14:33:42Z")
Q: What do you give on the first day of Christmas when you can’t find a partridge? A: The South Side of Milwaukee. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/316 "2003-04-28T00:25:04Z")
Q: How do Wisconsinians describe Chicago? A: Perpetual virginity and the beatific vision ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/317 "2003-04-28T02:02:14Z")
Q: What are the two main causes of compulsive masturbation? (Get it? “Beatific” vision?) A: You can sleep in the barn as long as you don’t touch my beautiful daughter. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_of\_Sandwhich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/91b2a8/32.png) [@Earl\_of\_Sandwhich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_of_Sandwhich)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/318 "2003-04-28T02:50:38Z")
Q. What did grandpa say to Dad the night you two met? A. I’m just glad I have two feet. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/319 "2003-04-28T02:50:46Z")
Q: What should farmers NOT tell traveling salesmen? A: “Drink now, because you’re going to die in the morning” ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/320 "2003-04-28T16:24:53Z")
Q: What has Governor Quinn been telling himself every night for the last 10 years or so? A: whiplash segue [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=17)