# Question and Answer thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 14, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722 "2003-04-14T20:17:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 23
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/441 "2003-05-02T05:35:25Z")
Q: What’s up for bidding on ebay today? A: Out, damned spot! Out, out I say! ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/442 "2003-05-02T05:36:19Z")
Q: Dr. John… what the heck is that thing on your head?!? A: a bale of hay, three darvocets, and a sharp stick ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/443 "2003-05-02T05:38:55Z")
AAAARRRGGHH!!! Q for Diogenes: What did Bill Clinton say while for the 1 hour cleaners to finish with Monica’s dress? and THEN A: a bale of hay, three darvocets, and a sharp stick ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/444 "2003-05-02T05:50:39Z")
Q: What should you always bring with you when going to milk a bull? A: It looked better on him backwards. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_John\_of\_Babylon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7c8e57/32.png) [@Dr\_John\_of\_Babylon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_John_of_Babylon)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/445 "2003-05-02T13:05:31Z")
Q. Why did the Chicago Bears ask the NFL to allow William “the Refrigerator” Perry to wear his helmet in an unconventional way? A. Anna Nicole Smith and Laurence Olivier ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/446 "2003-05-02T14:21:08Z")
Q: Who would you like to drill in the teeth? A: I & II Fallopians ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_John\_of\_Babylon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7c8e57/32.png) [@Dr\_John\_of\_Babylon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_John_of_Babylon)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/447 "2003-05-02T14:44:30Z")
Q. Where can you find the Biblical account of Jesus’s journey into Cervica, Ovaria, and Labia Minor (where he delivered the Sermon on the Mons)? A. A wombat in a pear tree ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/448 "2003-05-02T14:44:30Z")
Q: Where did you hide your eggs this Easter? A: A bucket full of Sherbet Dip, and a straw. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_John\_of\_Babylon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7c8e57/32.png) [@Dr\_John\_of\_Babylon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_John_of_Babylon)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/449 "2003-05-02T14:58:31Z")
Q. Hey, Pa, what are we going to use to keep parasites out of the sherbet? And what can I use to suck this lemonade out of my glass? A. Dr John must really be enjoying this thread! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/450 "2003-05-02T15:17:16Z")
Q: Why’s that guy yelling “I’ve found my Special Purpose”? A: Go crazy with the cheese whiz. ---
**Author:** ![Zenham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a5b964/32.png) [@Zenham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenham)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/451 "2003-05-02T15:56:54Z")
Q. What’s the surest way to get mental health leave while working for Kraft? A. Who’s that girl, running around with you? ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/452 "2003-05-02T18:47:20Z")
Q: What is the song they were playing on the radio when you first feltched a goat? A: To avoid a mess, allways wear a plastic apron. ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/453 "2003-05-02T19:20:11Z")
Q: What is rule number one in Bippy’s Handy Dandy Goat Felcher’s Field Guide? A: One for the money, two for the show… ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/454 "2003-05-02T19:41:00Z")
Q: What’s the point of getting 3 whores? A: Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/455 "2003-05-02T20:38:04Z")
Q: Think we’ll ever find the WMDs? A: No deposit, no return. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Ketch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/43a26b/32.png) [@Jack\_Ketch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Ketch)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/456 "2003-05-02T20:54:25Z")
Q: Why bother wearing a condom? A: A pickle, silly. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/457 "2003-05-02T21:02:14Z")
Q: Okay, what did the woman with the impotent husband want the cucumber for? A: An emu and two koalas ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/458 "2003-05-02T21:06:57Z")
Q: Name the entire contents of Dame Edna Everage’s fan club? A: Because, without doing that, their would be no chance of **Polycarp** becoming president! ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/459 "2003-05-02T23:03:00Z")
Q: Why would you POSSIBLY want every man woman and child in the United States to disappear suddenly?!?! A: Reap the Whirlwind ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/460 "2003-05-02T23:24:42Z")
Q: What can **verbenabeast** expect to do for the question in that last post? A: When pigs fly and **Bippy** grows a beard, that’s when! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=22) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=24)