# Question and Answer thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 14, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722 "2003-04-14T20:17:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 25
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2003, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/481 "2003-05-04T21:21:13Z")
Q: **'beast** , in this deck that we’re playing cards with, why are the Jacks of Spades, Diamonds, and Clubs naked? A: Quintana Roo ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/482 "2003-05-05T05:03:55Z")
Q: What will most likely be my porn name? A: The whole room smells like saurkraut. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/483 "2003-05-05T06:27:49Z")
Q: Why did your dog take off running from the house like a bat out of hell? A: It was the only cigarette I had left. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/484 "2003-05-05T06:47:15Z")
Q: Why did you beat that man senseless with a tire iron when he asked to bum a cigarrette from you? A: Tom Cruise, Oprah Winfrey, and a basket of turtles. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/485 "2003-05-05T10:57:49Z")
Q: What’s gay, successful and hard to hold onto? A: They told me it was blackberry custard. ---
**Author:** ![Aankh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@Aankh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aankh)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/486 "2003-05-05T12:37:39Z")
Q: Why’re you carrying a baggie of Black Tar Heroin, **QGG**? A: You don’t understand! I have feelings! ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/487 "2003-05-05T13:08:30Z")
Q: **Aasna** , didn’t I tell you to stop stalking and threatening your old high school sweetheart? A: Moist; yet not overly so. ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/488 "2003-05-05T13:13:49Z")
Q: What is the weather like in Alabama today? A: Rentals drive Condo Market. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/489 "2003-05-05T13:57:57Z")
Q: Who drives the condo market again? A: Lord Randolph Churchill. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/490 "2003-05-05T14:02:41Z")
Q: Can you name that _other_ Churchill? A: Because my damn head hurts, that’s why. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/491 "2003-05-05T14:55:03Z")
Q: Why have you stopped the trepaning? A: Cream Cheese can be used as a substitute, in emergencies. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_of\_Sandwhich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/91b2a8/32.png) [@Earl\_of\_Sandwhich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_of_Sandwhich)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/492 "2003-05-05T23:57:16Z")
Q. What if my first-born would rather play basketball than be sacrificed? A. A year’s membership in the Gyro of the Month Club. ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/493 "2003-05-06T00:06:33Z")
Q: What is the grand prize in your folk-dancing contest? A: crispy outside, with a warm, gooey center ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/494 "2003-05-06T01:10:25Z")
Q: What does a Polar Bear think of an Igloo? A: Never attempt this during a thunder storm. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/495 "2003-05-06T01:16:40Z")
Q: What did they show on the screen when ESPN televised the 25th Annual Lighting-Rod Juggling Championships? A: “Disraeli, Gladstone, or the Marques of Salisbury?” ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/496 "2003-05-06T02:59:12Z")
Q: Can you name people who aren’t half as interesting as the Marquis de Sade? A: There’s a man drilling a large hole in the side of my house. I’m pretty sure I didn’t ask him to. ---
**Author:** ![hocow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hocow/32/4112_2.png) [@hocow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hocow)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/497 "2003-05-06T03:38:50Z")
Q: Why did you just call Jerry Springer? A: Kool Aid Magic Twists, Vodka, and a cherry on top. ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/498 "2003-05-06T03:43:30Z")
Q: I’m headin’ over to the bar, **Krys** Bring ya anything? A: Wonder Twin Powers… ACTIVATE! ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/499 "2003-05-06T04:54:48Z")
Q: What do I say to myself when I push my breasts together? A: On a desert island with your cousin. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/500 "2003-05-06T05:13:42Z")
Q: Where did you spend your last vacation, **KCSuze**? A: I don’t know if I should…there’s some funny looking green stuff in it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=24) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=26)