# Question and Answer thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 14, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722 "2003-04-14T20:17:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 27
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/521 "2003-05-07T05:29:48Z")
Q: Can you ask me a question that has a question for the answer? A: Two turntables and a microphone. ---
**Author:** ![Zenham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a5b964/32.png) [@Zenham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenham)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/522 "2003-05-07T05:37:46Z")
Q. Didn’t you understand me when I said Get Back? A. It’s a long way to Tiperarry. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/523 "2003-05-07T07:15:54Z")
Q: Why should I fill up my gas tank before going on vacation? A: I must have forgotten to decline. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/524 "2003-05-07T13:55:11Z")
Q: How did you get appointed Ambassador to Burkina Faso? A: Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right. ---
**Author:** ![hocow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hocow/32/4112_2.png) [@hocow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hocow)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/525 "2003-05-07T14:09:11Z")
Q: What did you dream about last night? A: Power and politics. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/526 "2003-05-07T15:41:19Z")
Q: What temptations will **Polycarp** face in the coming ellection? A: All the pussy you can eat. ---
**Author:** ![Aankh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@Aankh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aankh)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/527 "2003-05-07T15:49:20Z")
Q: What’s so great about doggie heaven? A: A voice said to me,“Don’t kill the buffalo.” ---
**Author:** ![hocow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hocow/32/4112_2.png) [@hocow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hocow)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/528 "2003-05-07T16:05:00Z")
Q: Why were you trying to strangle that elephant? A: Clearasil Pads ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/529 "2003-05-07T17:24:36Z")
Q: What makes acne run like it’s never ran before? A: Too much pepper. Way too much pepper. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/530 "2003-05-07T17:28:26Z")
Q: What’s the matter with your milk? A: It’s squirted out in a large, lazy arc. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/531 "2003-05-07T17:35:25Z")
Q: What happened when you used the garden hose with the hole in it? A: There’s a time and a place for everything. ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/532 "2003-05-07T17:43:20Z")
Q: QueerGeekGirl… why in the name of all that is holy are you hanging from the ceiling fan, nekkid, clucking like a chicken? A: A pint of stout ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/533 "2003-05-07T17:47:52Z")
Q: What’s better than a pint of wimpy? A: She shaved her back. ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/534 "2003-05-07T17:52:32Z")
Q: How did **verbenabeast** know that his girlfriend was cheating on him? A: Songs for Swingin’ Lovers ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/535 "2003-05-07T17:54:39Z")
Q: What was QueerGeekGirl clucking wlist upon the ceiling fan? A: Rock and Roll never forgets ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/536 "2003-05-07T18:13:57Z")
Q: Why don’t the Osmands reform? A: Always choose the red one! ---
**Author:** ![hocow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hocow/32/4112_2.png) [@hocow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hocow)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/537 "2003-05-07T21:35:05Z")
Q: What did the yellow M&M say to the firing squad? A: Surfing cows. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/538 "2003-05-08T00:19:16Z")
Q: What will be in the next California dairy product commercial? A: Roy Jenkins, eating mashed potatoes. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/539 "2003-05-08T00:48:12Z")
Q: What do you think about when you need to avoid an erection? A: Press the clutch and brake peddle firmly. ---
**Author:** ![knock\_knock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/22d042/32.png) [@knock\_knock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knock_knock)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/540 "2003-05-08T03:32:45Z")
Q: How do you make the hard sell on a manual transmission car without an accelerator? (Assuming that **Bippy** meant to have a comma after “brake”) A: Seventy-four and a half, unless it was a Tuesday. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=26) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=28)