# Question and Answer thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 14, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722 "2003-04-14T20:17:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 28
**Author:** ![hocow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hocow/32/4112_2.png) [@hocow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hocow)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/541 "2003-05-08T04:27:12Z")
Q: What was your daily alcohol consumption in college? A: The butler did it. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/542 "2003-05-08T04:49:12Z")
Q: Who spelled out “You Suck, Madame” on the dining room table in our finest silverware? A: Geraldo Rivera and a copy of _Barb Wire_ ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/543 "2003-05-08T07:26:27Z")
Q: What drove me to hang from said ceiling fan, clucking like a chicken? A: **verbenabeast** told me to take four, and not to call her in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/544 "2003-05-08T15:43:17Z")
Q: **QGG** , Why did I find you at noon in bed with two-thirds of the Wellesley College soccer team first squad? A: “Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimneytops” ---
**Author:** ![Zenham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a5b964/32.png) [@Zenham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenham)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/545 "2003-05-08T16:28:49Z")
Q. Where’d the Exctasy Lab Bust happen? A. 25, or 6 to 4. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/546 "2003-05-08T16:32:15Z")
Q: What’s the most cryptic album title ever? A: Kill the wabbit! ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/547 "2003-05-08T16:42:45Z")
Q: What’s the accurate translation of Deuteronomy 36:3 according to the Fuddite sect? A: A basketball, KY jelly, whipped cream, masking tape, and a 12-inch dildo ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/548 "2003-05-08T16:57:31Z")
Q: What do you not want to find after returning from a long business trip. A: The top of the Sears Tower. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/549 "2003-05-08T17:22:24Z")
Q: Where did **Polycarp** find me in bed with the girls from the Wellsley soccer team? A: Some like it hot. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/550 "2003-05-08T18:09:37Z")
Q: Why did you mix Tobasco in with the KY jelly? A: A pearl necklace would be wondeful. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/551 "2003-05-08T18:37:06Z")
Q: How can we end this blowjob so you can pronounce your r’s again? A: Two turtle doves. ---
**Author:** ![knock\_knock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/22d042/32.png) [@knock\_knock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knock_knock)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/552 "2003-05-08T18:57:49Z")
Q: What kind of chocolatey, caramely, pecany goodness should we get from one of the world’s finest makers of ice cream products? A: He can’t do it unless you bring more styrofoam. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/553 "2003-05-08T19:25:40Z")
Q: Why in the blue fuck didn’t the electrician fix my personal massager? A: Where there’s a will, there’s a way. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2003, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/554 "2003-05-08T23:39:29Z")
Q: So, how are you going to kill your grandmother? A: An airship, two Enoch Light albums, and the entire Milwaukee Republican Party. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_of\_Sandwhich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/91b2a8/32.png) [@Earl\_of\_Sandwhich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_of_Sandwhich)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/555 "2003-05-09T00:06:59Z")
Q. What ended up in the Lost and Found box at a recent Brewers game? A. He was too tall for the Supreme Court. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/556 "2003-05-09T00:15:26Z")
Q: How did OJ get away with it? A: Purple Rain ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/557 "2003-05-09T02:16:25Z")
Q: Why was **raisinbread** running around on the lawn in the nude? A: In bed with a giant squid and the Miskatonic University cheerleading squad ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/558 "2003-05-09T02:43:14Z")
Q: You caught **Bippy** WhERE?!?! A:It’s ROlling, Baby!! ---
**Author:** ![knock\_knock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/22d042/32.png) [@knock\_knock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knock_knock)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/559 "2003-05-09T03:50:34Z")
Q: Don’t you think In a Gadda da Vida really rocks, **beast**? A: Only when I’m sober. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/560 "2003-05-09T04:16:35Z")
Q: **knock knock** , when do you not think about Roseanne Barr while masturbating? A: Ten lords a-leapin’ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=27) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=29)