# Question and Answer thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 14, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722 "2003-04-14T20:17:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 30
**Author:** ![Earl\_of\_Sandwhich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/91b2a8/32.png) [@Earl\_of\_Sandwhich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_of_Sandwhich)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/581 "2003-05-09T22:55:30Z")
Q. Which Department is Congress considering doing away with, due to budget constraints (it’s office, a refrigerator carton in Washington, D.C., costs $300 a month to rent)? A. President Reagan wanted to do away with it. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/582 "2003-05-09T23:00:41Z")
Q: What is liberalism? (I’ll take Potpourri for $400, Alex!) A: John Wayne Bobbitt and Madelyn Murray O’Hair ---
**Author:** ![Zenham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a5b964/32.png) [@Zenham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenham)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/583 "2003-05-10T00:17:51Z")
Q. Who’d you invite to your "Nipped in The Bud"party? A. Lemonade and Vicodan ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/584 "2003-05-10T00:26:12Z")
Q: What did Lucy Van Pelt get arrested for mixing without a permit? A: Boss Crump would like to have a word with you. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/585 "2003-05-10T05:23:32Z")
Q: What are the last words Opie Taylor hears after Mayberry gets taken over my gangsters? A: **KCSuze** , **QueerGeekGirl** , and a pay-per-view ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/586 "2003-05-10T12:44:07Z")
Q: Along with raspberries, baking soda, jello shots, and a turkey baster, what do you need to have a **real** good time? A: I’m sorry! **KCSuze** told me it would work. ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/587 "2003-05-10T14:16:32Z")
Q: What’s this about jello shots and a turkey baster? A: I’m just here for the food. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_of\_Sandwhich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/91b2a8/32.png) [@Earl\_of\_Sandwhich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_of_Sandwhich)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/588 "2003-05-10T15:20:08Z")
Q. So why did you decide to spend spring break in New Guinea? A. He finally found his stick of deodorant. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/589 "2003-05-10T16:32:24Z")
Q: What finally seperated man from monkey? A: I’m so glad I found you. ---
**Author:** ![ILENSER](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/977dab/32.png) [@ILENSER](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ILENSER)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/590 "2003-05-10T18:52:13Z")
Q :What did the foundry worker say to the piece of iron? A: Witch wear. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/591 "2003-05-10T22:42:09Z")
Q: So, how do Stevie Nicks make a living when Fleetwood Mac is on hiatus? A: Colonel Velchev, Jaye P. Morgan, and Bill Watterson. ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/592 "2003-05-11T02:33:52Z")
Q: What are the 3 worst porn names? A: Luftwaffe ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/593 "2003-05-11T04:00:36Z")
Q: What is GWB’s Secret service codename? A: The Black Adder, the Pink Panther and White Zombie. ---
**Author:** ![knock\_knock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/22d042/32.png) [@knock\_knock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knock_knock)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/594 "2003-05-11T05:16:32Z")
Q: Who’s escaping from the coloring book zoo to terrorize the city of London? A: We’ll have to eat our way out of this. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/595 "2003-05-11T09:38:05Z")
Q: We’re trapped in a mushroom cellar beneath a house of fine cuisine. What in the hell are we going to do? A: Snowflakes. I hate 'em. Every single effing snowflake. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/596 "2003-05-11T15:17:39Z")
Q: What is a peeve of the entire population of Phoenix, Arizona? A: “All right, so a Bulgarian dictator, a cabaret singer, and a retired cartoonist enter a bar…” ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/597 "2003-05-11T17:50:33Z")
Q: Do you have any jokes that _don’t_ involve camels and Tantric lovemaking? A: Don’t even think about fucking with my six-toed cat! ---
**Author:** ![ILENSER](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/977dab/32.png) [@ILENSER](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ILENSER)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/598 "2003-05-11T20:02:49Z")
Q: Hey, why do you call this cat Claud Ballz ? A: Monica’s dress. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/599 "2003-05-11T20:22:42Z")
Q: (In the year 2050) What’s that blue slip hanging in the Smithsonian? A: Your words are never clear. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_of\_Sandwhich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/91b2a8/32.png) [@Earl\_of\_Sandwhich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_of_Sandwhich)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/600 "2003-05-11T21:01:40Z")
Q. Why do you, Joseph Smith, want Me, Jesus, to stop relieving myself on the snow? A. Earwigs. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=29) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=31)