# Question and Answer thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 14, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722 "2003-04-14T20:17:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 31
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/601 "2003-05-12T00:08:55Z")
Q: What is the proper name for what old men have in their ears? A: But you never take me anywhere anymore! ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/602 "2003-05-12T03:46:04Z")
Q: Hey **Governor Quinn** , what say we stay in and watch the _Manimal_ marathon tonight? A: I’m not into that lifestyle any more. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/603 "2003-05-12T06:21:01Z")
Q: Why are you selling all your leather and whips? A: It was found at Nag Hammadi. ---
**Author:** ![Aankh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@Aankh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aankh)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/604 "2003-05-12T08:23:00Z")
Q: What’s the only thing I know about Gnostic scripture? A: Ikea furniture names seem obscene. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/605 "2003-05-12T14:09:31Z")
Q: What do you think about our _Danish Stool_? A: That’s a strange place to get a paper cut. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/606 "2003-05-12T14:38:50Z")
Q: What was the advertising slogan for the ‘Fluffy Wabbit’ toilet paper in opposition to the ‘Clint Eastwood’ toilet paper’s famous \ campaign? A: 32 years in sollitary confinement. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/607 "2003-05-12T15:18:50Z")
Q: What is the new “mandatory minimum” sentense for rigging quiz shows? A: We jump on you for over an hour, and then eat your relatives. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/608 "2003-05-12T16:55:21Z")
Q: What state motto discourages tourism? A: That picture would be better as a panorama. ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/609 "2003-05-12T18:38:32Z")
Q: Can you picture ' **Beast** Naked? A: for the last time! Pillage BEFORE you burn! ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/610 "2003-05-13T04:19:32Z")
Q: Geez, why are you so mad we toasted the Playboy Mansion? A: It would look better in yellow. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/611 "2003-05-13T05:27:59Z")
Q: What do you think of my new “Prince Albert?” A: The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers and Fat Freddy’s cat. ---
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/612 "2003-05-13T09:58:46Z")
Q: What’s even better than the Cirque de Soliel? A: Make them stop looking at me that way. ---
**Author:** ![hocow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hocow/32/4112_2.png) [@hocow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hocow)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/613 "2003-05-13T12:57:36Z")
Q: What do you want me to do to those giant radioactive teddy bears? A: As a matter of fact, I was sick as a dog. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/614 "2003-05-13T13:49:31Z")
Q: Are you aware you just sniffed a stranger’s butt? A: Sun tea and no tan lines. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/615 "2003-05-13T15:02:00Z")
Q: Why did Edward Hillary stay in Nepal after climbing Everest? A: There can be only one. ---
**Author:** ![hocow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hocow/32/4112_2.png) [@hocow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hocow)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/616 "2003-05-13T17:09:37Z")
Q: Why weren’t both Olsen twins invited to the brothel? A: Sunday is a day for naps. ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/617 "2003-05-13T21:55:58Z")
Q: You are turning down tickets to the SuperBowl?!? Why? A: the lint that forms in your bellybutton ---
**Author:** ![hocow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hocow/32/4112_2.png) [@hocow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hocow)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/618 "2003-05-13T22:50:16Z")
Q: What did you knit that sweater out of? A: A narrow-minded goose. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/619 "2003-05-14T01:55:35Z")
Q: If RIch Gossage was a bigot, what would that make him? A: The President wants to know why you stole his taco. ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/620 "2003-05-14T03:42:58Z")
Q: Why do you suppose I am being followed by ominous black helicopters? A: Lake Titicaca (sp?) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=30) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=32)