# Question and Answer thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 14, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722 "2003-04-14T20:17:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 33
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/641 "2003-05-16T16:15:12Z")
Q: What’s the driving force behind China’s secretive society? A: Bea Arthur in a mumu. ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/642 "2003-05-16T17:37:08Z")
Q: what is the most horrific sight known to man? A: Evil Clowns bearing seltzer bottles… and they ain’t afraid ta use 'em! ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/643 "2003-05-16T17:42:12Z")
Q: **Beast** what do you think of the I.C.P.? A: 6:30 PM, at Waterloo train station, wearing a pink carnation, and carrying an umbrella. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/644 "2003-05-16T18:02:04Z")
Q: Where was Elvis last spotted? A: The reign in Spain. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/645 "2003-05-16T18:14:36Z")
Q: What is the title of the upcoming made for TV movie about Francisco Franco A: Generals gathered in their masses, just like witches at black masses. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/646 "2003-05-16T18:28:45Z")
Q: What makes you paranoid? A: Coffin nails. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/647 "2003-05-17T01:14:34Z")
Q: What, by statute, are cigarettes labeled as in 9 states? A: Remove your genitalia, change your name to Herbie, and join the Merchant Marine. ---
**Author:** ![ILENSER](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/977dab/32.png) [@ILENSER](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ILENSER)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/648 "2003-05-17T02:32:07Z")
Q: As President of this great country how could I serve the people better? A: If you build it out of sand. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/649 "2003-05-17T04:53:57Z")
Q: How can the taxpayers afford a new stadium for the Cardinals in St. Louis? A: Conan O’Brien’s third guest of the night. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/650 "2003-05-18T07:04:20Z")
Q: Who have the cannibals selected for the main course? A: Its clumsy, expensive, and it screams like an 8 year old girl on a tilt-a-whirl, but god it feels good to rub my nipples against it. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2003, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/651 "2003-05-19T05:17:20Z")
Q: How’s your new girlfriend, **drachillix**? A: My best friend’s hollow fairy collection. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/652 "2003-05-20T00:38:41Z")
Q: Where can I find a hungry elf and a starving pixie? A: Sitting in a shed, wearing wellies and carrying a shotgun. ---
**Author:** ![mr.splitfoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8e8cbc/32.png) [@mr.splitfoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mr.splitfoot)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/653 "2003-05-20T10:53:18Z")
Q: Whatever happened to that swell Grapist fellow? A: That was the day that Mr. Splitfoot joined the SDMB. (yes, I know I’m asking for it, so BRING IT ON) ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/654 "2003-05-20T17:45:15Z")
Q: When’s the last time you had an erection? A: A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thee. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/655 "2003-05-20T18:06:45Z")
Q: When’s the last time you had an erection? A: A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thee. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/656 "2003-05-20T18:49:13Z")
Q: If we shall marry on a summers eve, I shall need: A: Maximillion and Monica. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2003, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/657 "2003-05-20T21:32:45Z")
Q: What do the M’s stand for on M n’ M sweets? A: Just give me three good men and strong. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2003, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/658 "2003-05-21T14:57:14Z")
Q: Could you please say something confusing? A: That’s gonna bite someone in the ass. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2003, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/659 "2003-05-21T15:19:27Z")
Q: Why don’t you like my idea for Piranha Hot Pants? A: Sorry, I miss remembered an old quote. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2003, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/660 "2003-05-21T15:44:36Z")
Q: Why do you keep going on about **Remembered an old quote**? A: Fried pork chops, greens, a salad and a Sierra Mist. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=32) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=34)