# Question and Answer thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 14, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722 "2003-04-14T20:17:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 37
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/721 "2003-06-10T20:28:24Z")
Q: What film should never be played at a stag party? A: Suck hard, but don’t bite. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/722 "2003-06-10T21:17:37Z")
Q: What is a useless instruction to give to a woodchuck? A: Leo, get me my spatula, on the double! ---
**Author:** ![terd\_ferguson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@terd\_ferguson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terd_ferguson)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/723 "2003-06-11T05:36:54Z")
Q. How does Governor Quinn let his houseboy know that he has been naughty? A. He’s got a real bad attitude for a troll. ---
**Author:** ![Aholibah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Aholibah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aholibah)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/724 "2003-06-11T13:37:11Z")
Q. Why is Bob on “time-out” again? A. Billions and billions of years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/725 "2003-06-11T13:53:36Z")
Q:How long has this thread been alive? A: Calvin and the Colonel. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2003, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/726 "2003-06-11T14:10:30Z")
Q: Name a comic strip from the Eocene. A: A mile wide and an inch deep. ---
**Author:** ![terd\_ferguson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@terd\_ferguson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terd_ferguson)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2003, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/727 "2003-06-12T03:23:02Z")
Q. How big are Anna Nicole Smith’s nipples. A. About as big as a midget’s fist. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2003, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/728 "2003-06-12T14:33:37Z")
Q: How large is a small person’s heart? A: That thing should win some kind of a prize. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2003, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/729 "2003-06-12T15:09:51Z")
Q: How do you like my dynomite? A: Eww, there’s a bustle in that hedgerow! ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2003, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/730 "2003-06-12T15:38:27Z")
Q: Where has the May Queen gone with that **lieu** chap? A: Just dial 1 800-Big-John, if omly the very best will do. ---
**Author:** ![TwungTister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@TwungTister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwungTister)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2003, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/731 "2003-06-12T17:35:15Z")
Q: How can I order fancy toilets? A: My best friend’s girlfriend. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2003, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/732 "2003-06-12T21:03:32Z")
Q: Who did your best friend catch you with? A: Anthony Imperiale and Costa-Gavras. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/733 "2003-06-13T15:48:48Z")
Q: Who would you chose to make the Sponge Bob Square Pants movie? A: Always chose the Missionary position. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/734 "2003-06-13T15:55:09Z")
Q: How should a Lay person have sex? A: They come in bunches. ---
**Author:** ![TwungTister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@TwungTister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwungTister)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/735 "2003-06-13T17:03:44Z")
Q: Where does broccoli come from? A: Here kitty, kitty, kitty! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/736 "2003-06-13T17:12:03Z")
Q: Did you know we’re out of dog food? A: The eye of the needle. ---
**Author:** ![Aholibah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Aholibah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aholibah)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/737 "2003-06-13T17:14:13Z")
Q. What did that camel just pass through? A. The sound and the fury. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/738 "2003-06-13T17:42:37Z")
Q: How’d you know she crapped her pants? A: Bigger than a breadbox. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/739 "2003-06-13T20:22:44Z")
Q: Well how large was your left testicle, after your experiment with saline solution injections? A: Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Sailor, Rich man, Poor man, Beggar man, Thief. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/740 "2003-06-13T20:42:46Z")
Q: So, Miss N—, can you describe the eight men who assaulted you as you left the grounds of the nursery school? A: “Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=36) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=38)