# Question and Answer thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 14, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722 "2003-04-14T20:17:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 38
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/741 "2003-06-13T20:53:15Z")
Q: How do you feel about Kenny Bernstein and his crew? A: That’s going to need another coat. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2003, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/742 "2003-06-13T22:33:10Z")
Q: What did Leonardo say halfway through painting the Mona Lisa? A: I’ve got five dollars. I’ve got five dollars for each of you. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2003, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/743 "2003-06-14T17:16:45Z")
Q: What was Lemur866 recorded on tape offering the Chicago City Council? A: Well, the mine failed, the mill closed, and a tornado passed by… ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2003, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/744 "2003-06-14T18:55:20Z")
Q: Why don’t we hear anything more about “Assboink, Idaho,” which was the Dopers’ favorite generic hick town a year or so ago? A: Six hundred yards due south of the Golden Gate Bridge ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2003, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/745 "2003-06-15T00:56:27Z")
Q: Where’s Sam Spade’s office? A: We really don’t know why they behave that way, but we blame it on Minnesota. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2003, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/746 "2003-06-15T05:17:12Z")
Q: Wow, what was the deal with the movie _Fargo?_ A: A six-pack of beer and a pickup truck. ---
**Author:** ![terd\_ferguson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@terd\_ferguson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terd_ferguson)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2003, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/747 "2003-06-16T07:19:58Z")
Q. Besides the dead woman, what else did they find at Chappaquiddick? A. At a medium pace. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2003, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/748 "2003-06-16T15:08:44Z")
Q. How fast do psychics walk? A: Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2003, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/749 "2003-06-16T15:22:15Z")
Q: Where do you stand politically? A: It was bigger before the accident. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2003, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/750 "2003-06-16T20:09:19Z")
Q: So, why is your rapier only 3 inches long? A: The airships are coming! The airships are coming! ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2003, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/751 "2003-06-16T20:23:12Z")
Q: One if by land and two if by sea and three if… oh, wait… A. No, dammit! Four snowmen! ---
**Author:** ![Aholibah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Aholibah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aholibah)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2003, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/752 "2003-06-16T21:22:21Z")
Q. Did you just bid three hearts? A. A little to the left. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2003, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/753 "2003-06-16T21:32:06Z")
Q: How’s it hanging? A: K-Mart sucks. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2003, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/754 "2003-06-16T22:05:09Z")
Q: What are K-Mart’s new low cost ice lollies called? A: Measuring their genitals. ---
**Author:** ![TwungTister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@TwungTister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwungTister)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2003, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/755 "2003-06-16T23:49:03Z")
Q: What are the Chippendales doing in the fitting room? A: I can’t think of anything. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/756 "2003-06-17T06:07:52Z")
Q: Can you give me one good reason why I shouldn’t beat the stuffing out of you? A: An all-day _Golden Girls_ marathon. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/757 "2003-06-17T14:05:03Z")
Q: What does the Geneva Convention strictly forbid? A: It was in his watch pocket. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/758 "2003-06-17T14:54:05Z")
Q: Where did Sherlock Holmes keep his secret stash? A: The whore of Babylon, 24 gallons of whipped cream, those guys we met at Sodom, two she camels, and the Harem girls from Dagon’s temple. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/759 "2003-06-17T15:42:43Z")
Q. Name five gifts that all would have been better than eight fucking lords a-leaping. A. The look on the bartender’s face when the fat chick took off her underwear. ---
**Author:** ![Blackdragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@Blackdragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackdragon)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2003, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/760 "2003-06-17T17:06:38Z")
Q: What was the result of Danny Devito’s and Rhea Pearlman’s marriage? A: Limmericks that dont rhyme [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=37) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=39)