# Question and Answer thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 14, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722 "2003-04-14T20:17:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 42
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/821 "2003-07-03T19:15:50Z")
Q: What areobatic maneuver does a mourning dove use just prior to alighting? A: A bottle of butterscotch syrup, a tube of KY Jelly, and the Revised Standard Bible ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2003, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/822 "2003-07-03T21:12:09Z")
Q: What’s in the Emergency Kit found in the late Strom Thurmond’s glove compartment? A: Because if it hadn’t, it would have been broken off. ---
**Author:** ![verbenabeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@verbenabeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/verbenabeast)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/823 "2003-07-04T01:20:43Z")
Q: Why did ol’ Strom remove himself rapidly from the “uppity” goat? A: Ninety-Eight ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/824 "2003-07-04T02:32:07Z")
Q: What was the model of Oldsmobile that finally caught on with the buying public? A: A 23¢ stamp, an Elvis wig, and an over-ripe apricot. ---
**Author:** ![Suse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Suse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suse)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/825 "2003-07-04T03:33:31Z")
Q: What was left in Jim Carrey’s dressing room after the making of ‘Man On The Moon’? A. The 1910 Fruitgum Company. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/826 "2003-07-04T03:59:00Z")
Q: What is the most obscure MST3K reference ever? A: Ding-a-ling. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/827 "2003-07-04T06:26:44Z")
Q: What is the phonetic transcription of A. G. Bell’s mother’s Ojibwa name? A. 5, 217. ---
**Author:** ![hocow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hocow/32/4112_2.png) [@hocow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hocow)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/828 "2003-07-04T11:05:04Z")
Q: How many plastic surgeries has Michael Jackson had? A: Mark ate it. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_of\_Sandwhich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/91b2a8/32.png) [@Earl\_of\_Sandwhich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_of_Sandwhich)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/829 "2003-07-04T16:40:49Z")
Q. What happened to the Twinkie Jesus wanted to have for dessert? A. The judge liked my tie. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/830 "2003-07-04T21:13:40Z")
Q: Why did he order my neckwear removed before sentencing me to life in prison? A: Worry not, Wilbur. Life on the farm will be lots of fun. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2003, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/831 "2003-07-04T21:57:40Z")
Q: What was the last line of George Lucas’s prequel to Orwell’s “Animal Farm?” A. The entire city of San Juan. ---
**Author:** ![Aholibah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Aholibah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aholibah)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2003, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/832 "2003-07-05T05:56:26Z")
Q. Who noticed that I had a little broccoli floret stuck in my teeth when you were proposing to me? A. It would have been better if you had warned me. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/833 "2003-07-06T16:29:13Z")
Q: Why were you upset with the cold water colonic and VNC’s? A: The shade replied—“If you seek for Eldorado!” ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2003, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/834 "2003-07-06T17:17:20Z")
Q: I asked “Dear lamp, where is the gold?” A: It sucked. ---
**Author:** ![Aholibah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Aholibah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aholibah)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/835 "2003-07-07T03:17:20Z")
Q. How did that vacuum cleaner work? A. It used to be a massage parlor. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/836 "2003-07-07T08:16:03Z")
Q: How did you know where that great new Thai restaurant was? A: Because my mom told me it was OK. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/837 "2003-07-07T15:40:40Z")
Q: Why did you abandon your doctoral thesis and spend days in your room, masturbating? A: Because, it will be the first badger in outer space. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2003, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/838 "2003-07-07T15:50:44Z")
Q: Why are you taking away my pet? A: I think you are asking the wrong J. P. Morgan. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2003, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/839 "2003-07-08T15:07:06Z")
Q: Why’s this guy looking at me funny? All I asked was “Morgan, where’s my gravity bong?” A. Then, she passionately cried out, “The law of diminishing returns!” ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/840 "2003-07-12T00:35:09Z")
Q: Why does each successive date have a lower chance of reaching your G-spot? A: What do you expect from a doberman with a water pistol? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=41) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=43)