# Question and Answer thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 14, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722 "2003-04-14T20:17:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 47
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2003, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/921 "2003-08-11T03:37:43Z")
Q: what will it take to hammer some sense into him?! A: in a few more hours it won’t matter… ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2003, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/922 "2003-08-11T03:37:48Z")
Q: what will it take to hammer some sense into him?! A: in a few more hours it won’t matter… ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2003, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/923 "2003-08-11T17:17:33Z")
Q: How many times should I post this to try to hammer some sense into him? A: He’ll stop doing that after an hour or so. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2003, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/924 "2003-08-11T17:24:34Z")
Q:Your friend Marley’s running rampant inside the food court; what shall we do? A: At times like this, I wish I knew a Great White Hunter. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/925 "2003-08-15T00:10:53Z")
Q: How will all the lawyers determine who to sue after a nightclub fire? A: It will continue to hum softly until the battery is spent. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/926 "2003-08-15T02:22:25Z")
Q: What the deal with this “Singing Fabrice Morvan” doll that’s forgotten all the words? A: Damn, that’s obscure. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/927 "2003-08-16T01:40:06Z")
Q: I’ll bet that you weren’t aware of Tammy Faye Baker having performed Carmen in a Laotian prison, as part of a community work sentence. A: Tender and tart, so long as the sauce is correct. ---
**Author:** ![Shiva418](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/77aa72/32.png) [@Shiva418](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shiva418)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/928 "2003-08-16T02:29:37Z")
Q: What does urine baked pig anus taste like? A: The Honorable Bertrand Russell’s _Introduction to Mathematical Philosophy_. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/929 "2003-08-16T14:40:22Z")
Q: What book makes the best substitute pillow, according to the Tired Student Institution? A: I’ve got the power! ---
**Author:** ![Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuji_Kitakyusho)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/930 "2003-08-16T15:38:51Z")
Q: What did Dwight D Eisenhower have tatooed on his chest following the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki? A: No matter how many times you ask, the answer stays the same. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/931 "2003-08-16T17:48:28Z")
Q: Charlize Theron, will you marry me? A: Normally met with a heartfelt restraining order. ---
**Author:** ![Shiva418](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/77aa72/32.png) [@Shiva418](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shiva418)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/932 "2003-08-16T19:16:58Z")
Q: What happens when you break into Ms. Theron’s house, dress up as a teddy bear and wait on her bed for her to get home. A: Three clowns and a picknick basket. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/933 "2003-08-16T20:39:48Z")
Q: Whom did I mistake for the Democratic National Convention, soliciting door-to-door for campaign donations? A: Now that we’ve rendered your badger bulletproof, I wouldn’t worry, Miss Tinkle. ---
**Author:** ![Stage\_Manager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stage_manager/32/7267_2.png) [@Stage\_Manager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stage_Manager)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/934 "2003-08-16T22:37:43Z")
Q: However will I keep my precious pet from being tormented when he gets loose? A: Four digital watches, a gun, and a jar of greenish slime. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/935 "2003-08-16T23:25:09Z")
Q: what did the writer of GPF Comics use to create his characters? A: Thursday afternoon. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2003, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/936 "2003-08-17T14:43:50Z")
Q: At what time do the Pirahna Brothers nail their enemies’ heads to coffee tables? A: “When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie…” ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2003, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/937 "2003-08-17T15:14:52Z")
Q: What love song to moray eels sing as part of their mating ritual? (_it’s a moray_) A: We’ve gotten down to brass tacks, only to find they aren’t really brass. ---
**Author:** ![Shiva418](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/77aa72/32.png) [@Shiva418](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shiva418)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2003, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/938 "2003-08-17T18:53:41Z")
Q: What was the unanimous decision of the President’s official 9/11 Terrorist Alert Homeland Security Defence panel on the investigation of the composition of brass tacks. A: St. Thomas was missing a leg. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2003, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/939 "2003-08-17T23:31:49Z")
Q: Why was Judas Iscariot trying to hide a smirk at the last Supper? A: Enormous numbers of tiny transparent fish. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/940 "2003-08-18T00:11:44Z")
Q: What are you trying to transport across state lines? A: Maj. Gen. Gordon’s Jersey-Fried Tofu, now availible at 117 locations nationwide. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=46) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=48)