# Question and Answer thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 14, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722 "2003-04-14T20:17:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 49
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/961 "2003-08-30T14:11:05Z")
Q: Who set the administrative building on fire? A: Smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo… ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/962 "2003-08-30T19:51:18Z")
Q: What will I be doing after playing solitaire 'til dawn with a deck of 51? A: Play pool with an onion as a cueball. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Babbington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Mr.Babbington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Babbington)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/963 "2003-08-30T22:28:59Z")
Q. What should we do tonight, Julia Child? A. The stewards ate them, Sir. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/964 "2003-08-30T22:57:01Z")
Q: Coxswain, where’s Michael Rockefeller? A: There will be no white shoes on Thursday. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/965 "2003-08-31T15:29:00Z")
Q: What edict precluded tacky dressing amongst used car salesmen at least once per week? A: No underwear Monday. ---
**Author:** ![hocow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hocow/32/4112_2.png) [@hocow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hocow)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/966 "2003-08-31T16:40:00Z")
Q: So what happens when the boss gets rid of casual Fridays? A: Out-dated Coca-Cola. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/967 "2003-08-31T19:44:12Z")
Q: What action did Pepsi take to win the Soft Drink Corporate Speed Romance Championship of 2007? A: 3700 km/h. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/968 "2003-08-31T19:59:22Z")
Q: Calculate the speed at which a divorce attorney moves towards the assets of the other party. A: A hedgehog, some pink icing, and a scratched Monkees 45 record. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/969 "2003-08-31T23:50:05Z")
Q: What am I getting for St. Swillen’s Day? A: We shall either have January come a month earlier, or repeat November. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/970 "2003-09-01T13:20:12Z")
Q: Mr. Peabody, somebody stole December from the calendar! How should I set the Wayback Machine? A: Applying clear nail polish should do nicely. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/971 "2003-09-01T14:32:24Z")
Q: How do I close this sucking cheast wound? A: With yo momma. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/972 "2003-09-01T14:32:29Z")
Q: How do I close this sucking chest wound? A: With yo momma. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/973 "2003-09-01T14:38:57Z")
Q: What was the most popular punchline over the long run of “The Dirty Dozens”? A: Kemul Ataturk. ---
**Author:** ![Standup\_Karmic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Standup\_Karmic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standup_Karmic)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/974 "2003-09-01T15:45:13Z")
Q: What is a name I won’t recognize without turning to Google for help? A: The coffee is a little too strong. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/975 "2003-09-01T21:43:30Z")
Q: Why is my morning java bench pressing the apple fritter? A: Once her panties had tangled the turboprop, it was only a matter of time. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/976 "2003-09-01T21:49:05Z")
Q: How did the pilot know that a TMI moment was on the way? A: Four city liquid-waste trucks at work along the side of the Queensway today. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2003, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/977 "2003-09-01T22:47:01Z")
(I’m going to hell for this, but…) Q: How did the street-sweeper know that a TMI moment was on the way. A: St. Catharines is awash in my blood. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/978 "2003-09-02T00:16:32Z")
Q: Why did I get a letter from the mayor of St Catharines, Ontario, asking me to bring a large sponge to his city? A: Tim Hortons never knew. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/979 "2003-09-02T00:24:15Z")
Q: So, did the guy you murdered ever know what was coming? A: Sweet Philadelphia, run, boys, run! ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/980 "2003-09-02T00:36:21Z")
Q: What’s the latest dessert craze and whatcha gotta do to get it before it’s gone? A: Fur Elise. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=48) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=50)