# Question and Answer thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 14, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722 "2003-04-14T20:17:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![hocow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hocow/32/4112_2.png) [@hocow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hocow)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/81 "2003-04-15T22:54:54Z")
Q: Why can’t you take out the trash? A: Check out my gravel pit. ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMensch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@MonkeyMensch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMensch)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/82 "2003-04-15T22:56:48Z")
What book should I get at the library? ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMensch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@MonkeyMensch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMensch)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/83 "2003-04-15T23:08:05Z")
OOPS! Q: What book should I get at the library? A: Tommy Franks and the cast of _Chicago_. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/84 "2003-04-15T23:17:55Z")
Good save, **MonkeyWrench**. I was just about to post that you really threw a you into this thread, but nooooo! ---
**Author:** ![lightingtool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/85 "2003-04-15T23:33:26Z")
Q: Who just wasted 2 hours of my life? A: Pee Wee Herman and Barney ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/86 "2003-04-15T23:40:50Z")
Q: Who costarred in the lowest-grossing porn flic of all time? A: If I could save time in a bottle. ---
**Author:** ![Orange\_Skinner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3be4f8/32.png) [@Orange\_Skinner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orange_Skinner)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/87 "2003-04-15T23:48:44Z")
Q: I’d have something to do with all these damned bottles if I could do what? A. Only when it feels threatened. ---
**Author:** ![lightingtool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/88 "2003-04-15T23:55:16Z")
Q: Holy cow!! Is that thing always that big? A: 2 bottles of vodka and Johnny Cash ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/89 "2003-04-16T00:11:11Z")
Q: What do you take into the shower with you? A: The Australian National Anthem. ---
**Author:** ![hocow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hocow/32/4112_2.png) [@hocow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hocow)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/90 "2003-04-16T02:51:18Z")
Q: What was your wedding song? A: Light, crisp and refreshing. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/91 "2003-04-16T02:56:28Z")
Q: Ozzy, what did that bat’s head taste like? A: I had a bee in my pants. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/92 "2003-04-16T03:11:37Z")
Q: Why are your pants oozing honey? A: No, it was her sister. ---
**Author:** ![brianjedi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@brianjedi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brianjedi)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/93 "2003-04-16T05:40:17Z")
Q: Was that international singing star Madonna? A: It only runs on Tuesdays. ---
**Author:** ![cainxinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@cainxinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cainxinth)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/94 "2003-04-16T07:15:48Z")
Q: Why have there been fewer Amtrak derailings? A: A tattoo of Gilbert Gottfried. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/95 "2003-04-16T13:53:05Z")
Q:hat’s that on Madona’s left butt cheek? A: Ross and Monica ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/96 "2003-04-16T15:38:44Z")
Q: What does Madona call her breasts? A: That’s what you say, you say that I am. ---
**Author:** ![hocow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hocow/32/4112_2.png) [@hocow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hocow)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/97 "2003-04-16T16:39:46Z")
Q: Why are you calling yourself Saddam? A: A genital herpes outbreak. ---
**Author:** ![lightingtool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/98 "2003-04-16T16:44:42Z")
Q: (going along with the theme) Why did Madonna cancel her world tour? A: Two rights, a left, and there you are! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/99 "2003-04-16T17:22:26Z")
Q: How did a Viking get to Valhalla? A: It showed up one day on Nixon’s chair. ---
**Author:** ![lightingtool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/100 "2003-04-16T17:28:32Z")
Q: Where did Henry Kissinger come from?\ A: 36 is good, 42 in better [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=6)