# Question and Answer thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 14, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722 "2003-04-14T20:17:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 50
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2003, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/981 "2003-09-02T01:06:10Z")
Q: What did Mattel come out with after Fur Ken and Fur Barbie? A: Umlaut. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/982 "2003-09-03T00:14:24Z")
Q: What is the latest toy in the “Two Dots Above Their Head” series? A: I’m afraid we cannot accomodate your request. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/983 "2003-09-03T01:18:15Z")
Q: Would it be possible to give me all that money, land, and charisma? A: Maybe on Thursday. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/984 "2003-09-03T02:31:36Z")
Q: What’s the next film in the “Day” series? A: The name of the place is I Like It Like That. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/985 "2003-09-03T22:51:12Z")
Q: What do they call sexual nirvana? A: The giraffe was wearing high heels. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/986 "2003-09-06T02:53:56Z")
Q: How could a 17 foot tall creature possibly reach 17 foot six inches? A: The hedgehog had already signed a consent decree. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/987 "2003-09-06T04:51:23Z")
Q: So, why didn’t Jim go to jail? A: Roxborough, Chestnut Hill, Mayanuk, and Oak Lane. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/988 "2003-09-06T15:53:26Z")
Q: What neighborhoods do I have to avoid in order not to get shot by the angry fathers of Shipley girls? A: Take off that silly-ass hat. ---
**Author:** ![Amberlei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e56c9b/32.png) [@Amberlei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amberlei)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/989 "2003-09-06T17:28:40Z")
Q: What do I have to do to get people to take me seriously for a change? A: Pink and yellow intergalactic sea shells. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/990 "2003-09-06T19:00:42Z")
Q: What new pattern of Formica® is expected to debut at the fall home show? A: It needs some pineapple. ---
**Author:** ![Blackdragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@Blackdragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackdragon)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/991 "2003-09-06T19:34:01Z")
Q: What does this beer comercial need? A: Omeprazole is my favorite food. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/992 "2003-09-06T22:20:41Z")
Q: Now, is there anything you want me to get? A: Your head on a stick! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Babbington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Mr.Babbington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Babbington)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/993 "2003-09-06T22:57:02Z")
Q. Why do you keep saying “Your head on a stick!” to everything I say? A. They dont taste so bad once you put some oregano on them. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/994 "2003-09-06T23:52:38Z")
Q: How can you eat live mice like that? A: I don’t want to go to Atlantic City. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/995 "2003-09-07T06:00:15Z")
Q: Would you like to emcee the Miss America pageant? A: Although it tastes like chocolate, it feels like a rock. ---
**Author:** ![Standup\_Karmic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Standup\_Karmic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standup_Karmic)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/996 "2003-09-07T06:06:17Z")
Q: What do you think about that new candy, “Ch-rock-olate” from the makers of Mars Bars? A: You just toss it into the blender. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Babbington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Mr.Babbington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Babbington)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/997 "2003-09-07T06:11:17Z")
Q. How did you puree that Gremlin so smooth? A. I’m on the Atkins’, man. ---
**Author:** ![Standup\_Karmic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Standup\_Karmic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standup_Karmic)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/998 "2003-09-07T06:16:10Z")
Q: Why did you put a whole side of beef on the BBQ? A: You twist it twice to the right and then pull real hard. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/999 "2003-09-07T16:45:40Z")
Q: Can’t you tell me how to open this \*%@\*(# door? A: They blew up the chicken man in Philly late last night. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1000 "2003-09-07T17:53:51Z")
Q: Why are all the Chick-Fil-A stores draped with black bunting? A: Binary Boogie. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=49) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=51)