# Question and Answer thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 14, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722 "2003-04-14T20:17:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 59
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2003, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1161 "2003-09-21T11:34:51Z")
Q: Care to have this funnel place in your mouth, and a mixture of carbolic acid, lemonade, extra virgin olive oil, soot and bearnaise sauce poured in-whence you’ll be rolled around on the floor for ten minutes and then propped in the corner upside-down? A: It took 37 nails to secure it. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2003, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1162 "2003-09-21T14:09:26Z")
Q: How did you mount all your enemies’ heads on the wall? A: Bill Tilden does it best. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2003, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1163 "2003-09-22T06:47:34Z")
Q: How did Bill Tilden’s boyfriend respond to a telephone survey regarding sexual prowess? A: Mucilage! Collect every pot that you can! ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2003, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1164 "2003-09-22T21:45:46Z")
Q: The rift in the time-space continuum is reaching a critical phase, what can be done NOW? A: Books on hang-gliding, and a ham and cheese sandwich. ---
**Author:** ![Svt4Him](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@Svt4Him](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Svt4Him)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2003, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1165 "2003-09-22T22:37:42Z")
Q. What did you put in his lunch to make him remember to diet? A. Well, that’s the reason he’s like that. ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2003, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1166 "2003-09-22T23:24:14Z")
Q: Sticking your tongue into an electrical outlet can do some amazing things for ya’, am I right? A: Three bright lights. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2003, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1167 "2003-09-22T23:43:04Z")
Q: What blinded Manfred Mann’s Earth Band? A: The silky innocent natured way she looked at me, before her sessions started. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2003, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1168 "2003-09-22T23:43:04Z")
Q: What blinded Manfred Mann’s Earth Band? A: The silky innocent natured way she looked at me, before her sessions started. ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1169 "2003-09-23T00:52:08Z")
Q: Why was it so creepy the way she stared at me, whenever she started to practice stuffing a dozen lemons in her mouth? A: Bethany certainly didn’t need any more yellow legal pads. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1170 "2003-09-23T01:48:33Z")
Q: Why did you give your lawyer an exploding golf ball as their Christmas gift? A: Riggs, Kramer, and Schroeder, but not E. Victor Seixas. ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1171 "2003-09-23T11:21:55Z")
Q: Can Bobby, Cosmo and that little piano playing kid come with us on our picnic, oh, and how about my friend whose name is an anagram for Ace Sex Visitor? A: Standing in the shadows of love. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1172 "2003-09-23T13:09:38Z")
Q: Where is Pepe le Pew? A: At the bottom of the Seine. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1173 "2003-09-23T13:11:59Z")
Q: Where was their car? A: Row 14, Seat C, and enjoy the show. ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1174 "2003-09-23T14:33:43Z")
Q: I’ve got my tarpaulin, plastic dropcloths and a 3foot square piece of plexiglas, can someone direct me to my seat for the Gallagher performance? A: Up to now, I’ve had no complaints. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1175 "2003-09-24T00:16:27Z")
Q: How did you get away with operating a butcher shop in your fifth floor walk-up? A: At the request of my attorney, I refuse to answer any more questions. ---
**Author:** ![hocow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hocow/32/4112_2.png) [@hocow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hocow)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1176 "2003-09-24T00:42:41Z")
Q: Senator, can you explain the purpose of the harnesses and muscle relaxers found in your office? A: A fluffy white rabbit. ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1177 "2003-09-24T01:27:25Z")
Q: I’m really amazed how strong you are, what was that thing before you crammed it into that soda can? A: Beef tallow and hominy grits. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1178 "2003-09-24T03:22:00Z")
Q: What did we see in the cooking exhibit at the Royal Ontario Museum? A: The United States Congress. ---
**Author:** ![Thizzlewit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8797f3/32.png) [@Thizzlewit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thizzlewit)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1179 "2003-09-24T04:06:20Z")
Q: What should we give to Canada? A: A hamster and a spoon. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2003, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722/1180 "2003-09-24T05:21:12Z")
Q: What are two of the five components of a good server? A: Spackling, tuna, and George Thoroughgood. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=58) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/question-and-answer-thread/168722.md?page=60)